"The Mighty One" - Updated 5-25-2026

I originally posted this on 5/31/2014, just one week after the passing of our son Matthew...after his 4 year battle with a deadly foe that just wouldn't give up.  (Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Tumor- DSRCT).  Today, 5/25/2026, marks 12 years since his passing from this life into heaven. I have reposted this before in 2018, but what was said here originally 12 years ago and also in 2018 is still so real. I repost this today to hopefully encourage someone out there who may be going through a similar trial and time of grief.  I can honestly say that it does get a little easier with time...but only in the sense that we move from raw, unabashed sorrow and tears to a quieter, sweeter kind of grief. Acceptance? Perhaps.  I know that in my head I do accept the fact that our son is gone from this earth forever...and that he is now in heaven...forever.  But I still miss hearing his voice and seeing his face and feeling the warmth of his hugs.  I will say that there are many times that I feel his presence near me...I really don't think heaven is all that far away.  If only we could just reach through that veil and grasp onto each other again...but that is not to be...yet.  

Someday I, too, will pass through that veil from this life into the next...and I truly believe that my son will be standing there, next to Jesus, with arms open wide...ready to welcome me "home".  Until that day we will continue to carry on his memory in our hearts and in little things that we can do to keep his flame burning brightly.  I pray that these words will bring comfort to someone today whose grief is still fresh and glaringly painful.  May God's peace be your peace today.  May you place your hope in Jesus...and trust Him to carry you through. He will.

Our Memorial Garden in our back yard, in loving memory of our son. A wonderful place to pray, meditate on God's Word, and remember a marvelous son.

Original Post 5/31/14:

"The LORD your God in your midst,

The Mighty One, will save;

He will rejoice over you with gladness,

He will quiet you with His love,

He will rejoice over you with singing."

Zephaniah 3:17

It is hard for me to realize that it was just one week ago today that I said my last farewells to my son Matthew.  It would be several more hours, in the wee hours of the next morning that we would receive the word that he had taken his last breath here on earth.  Can it be that a week has already passed? I believe I have been floating in a cloud mixed with sorrow and relief all week long.  Sorrow that my wonderful son is no longer with us here on earth, and relief that my wonderful son is no longer suffering from disease and that he is now totally healed and safe in heaven.

I know, I have already said these things to you.  I don't need to remind anyone about these events that have transpired this past week, especially not myself.  Everyday brings fresh reminders to me as we prepare for his memorial service and think of ways to honor him and keep his flame burning bright.  Sweet memories flash before my mind's eye, pictures of a precious little baby born earlier than expected and who lived a marvelous life and  left this earth earlier than expected, 41 years later.

The one thing I am mindful of is how the Lord has been carrying me in His arms this past week. This morning as I read my daily devotions, the verse written above stood out in bright highlights to me. Especially the part about "He will quiet you with His love..."  Yes, He has done just that. I have felt His love tenderly quieting my heart every time I have given over my mind to grief. When the tears began to overflow out of my eyes, I felt His hand gently wiping them away as He caressed my face.  I believe I could hear Him singing a sweet lullaby as He held me close and rocked me like a little child who needed to be comforted.

This same One who saves us, rejoices over us with gladness, quiets us with His love, and rejoices over us with singing. I've heard Him singing...He has filled my heart with songs of joy, peace, promise and love.  I have been flooded with songs in the night, the daytime, and at times when I didn't even think I could or should be singing.

Some of you may not understand how I could feel this great comfort...you may think I'm a bit daft in the head. But for those of us who have been there, we know how wonderful it is to have such a "Mighty One" as this Lord our God in our midst. "The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save..."  

I take comfort in knowing that this "Mighty One" takes the time to notice my sorrow...He is touched with my grief.  And He assures me that 'Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." (Psalm 30:5)

I cannot say enough about this "Mighty One"

"I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth."  (Psalm 34:1)

This is the way I love to remember our "Deer" son.  Always smiling and full of joy and mischief.

Back to the present, 5/26/2026...today we are heading to a Memorial Day Picnic at our church. I am baking a cherry-blueberry cobbler.  It's good to keep busy on this day.  Benton and Rose will be there too. Hopefully I will have some pictures to share later.  Yesterday Scott was here and the "kids", and we cooked ribs and chicken on the grill,  along with corn on the cob, a salad, baked potatoes, and we had watermelon.  I didn't take one picture!  I wanted to plant something in memory of Matthew, as is our custom, but it was very hot and we were all tired and I didn't have what I wanted to plant, so we decided to wait.  Hopefully we will get some much needed rain this next week, as the storms that others are having in Florida continue to bypass us.  Once we get more rain it will be a better time to plant something.    I can smell the cherry/blueberry cobbler baking, and it's almost time to get it out of the oven, so I'd better go. I will write more probably tomorrow.  Thank you for bearing with me.  Hug your family tight whenever you can. Life is short.

Thursday Thankfulness and Friday Foto Friends

 Before I get into this post, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the tragic plane and helicopter crash from last night and the loss of so many precious souls plunged into the icy waters of the Potomac River. What a horrific thing to happen, and such a tragedy for the families and loved ones of each of those dear souls. My heart goes out to them and they are definitely in my thoughts and prayers today.  I am thankful for those heroic first responders who risked their own lives to try to rescue anyone who might have survived, but who quickly discovered that it would be a recovery search instead of being able to rescue anyone. Our thanks to them for their quick action and commitment to saving lives. May God protect each and every one.  I pray for those who perished that they were ready to meet Jesus face to face, and that they are resting in His loving arms today. Amen.

First of all, I want to thank everyone for your kind comments on my last post about the nap blankets and other special photos, and also for those who mentioned from a previous post that you would be praying for hubby as he had his cataract surgery today.  His surgery went very well, as far as we know right now anyway. Time will tell if it worked. We go back tomorrow morning for a follow up appointment.  It's been a long day as we had to be there by 7:40 this morning, and the surgery center is an hour's drive away from us, so we were up before the crack of dawn to get there on time...and then to wait actually about 3.5 hours before he actually had the surgery! Then the long drive (me driving) back home to eat a bite of lunch before falling into bed and using our comfy "nap blankies" to take a much needed nap! LOL.  But thankfully everything went well, and tomorrow's appointment is at 8:25 a.m., so we don't have to leave quite as early as today!  Thank Goodness!  

I did take a few pictures on the way there this morning as the sun came up (while hubby was still able to drive before the surgery).  I've taken pictures at this location before on our way to his eye appointments, but never as early as this morning:

These photos were taken as we were crossing over the Black Creek, which is an inlet from the St. John's River. It was a little bit foggy as the sun was rising, and of course the car was moving quickly in traffic, so the pictures may be a little blurred, but they still have a kind of beauty all their own:

It was such a lovely moment...I'm glad I was able to capture it to share it with you!  Sunrise on the St. John's River and Black Creek is something to enjoy! It would be nice to take one of those sail boats out and see it up close.  Just don't go too far, as the St. John's River actually runs into the Atlantic Ocean!

This was the last photo as we passed the over the bridge. I thought this was kind of beautiful too! I hope you enjoyed the view!

Speaking of foggy mornings, this is how it looked on Still Waters Pond yesterday morning at sunrise:

It was actually a mixture of fog and smoke from the prescribed/controlled burns in the forest that they do periodically in the area...so I guess you could call it "Smog".  Thankfully it's not like this very often!! The air quality was not very pleasant for a while.

As I zoomed in on the pond, I noticed that our two Canada Geese were over there next to the island. They were very very still...probably not wanting to breathe that smoky air either!

Thankfully a little later when the sun came out the air cleared, and soon I noticed Mr. and Mrs. Bluebird had come for a visit to check out their birdhouses again, probably inspecting them to see if they are free of squatters! It won't be long before they will be setting up housekeeping again and preparing their nests for the next flock of baby birds!

First Mr. Bluebird inspected the house to make sure all was clear:

Then he called over Mrs. Bluebird so she could have a look inside and give her stamp of approval:

Then they flew back to the tree to contemplate things and discuss it further before making a final decision.  We actually have two birdhouses, and they flew back and forth between the two for a while, but I didn't get pictures of the other one on this day.  Time will tell which one they will decide upon.

Oftentimes it is a good idea to just "Be Still"...and consider Who God is, and seek His wisdom in what we should do:

Psalm 46:10 NKJV 

"10 Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!"

When we pray and seek God's direction in life we will know which way to go:

Isaiah 30:21

"Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying,

“This is the way, walk in it,”

Whenever you turn to the right hand

Or whenever you turn to the left."

There was another visitor to Still Waters Pond yesterday morning:

I noticed something sitting on the branch of a pine tree way over on "Goose Island".

I'm sure you probably can't see it above, so I will keep zooming in for you:

Oh! It's a Great Blue Heron sitting in the tree, just minding his own business!

Perhaps he was taking a nap! He has his "nap blankie" wrapped all around him like a feathery shawl:

He really is magnificent! Another of God's majestic creatures that love to visit Still Waters Pond:

After he woke up from his morning nap he decided to go do some fishing:

Looks like a beautiful day for fishing! 

Now this is something really sweet and special and I want to acknowledge what a fun and thoughtful thing someone did for me...yes, one of our favorite blogging friends.  If you know and read our friend Annie's blog, Cottage by the Sea, you will know that she is our hostess each week for the "Tuesday 4" meme.  Well, you may not know that Annie also an amazing artist, and she paints the beautiful headers that you will find on her posts.  They change from time to time, so you have to check them out frequently so see them.  Well, her original post for this week's Tuesday 4 had a painting of a lovely little church in the woods on the shore of a lovely lake or on an island.  I commented on it how much I loved it and would love to live in such a beautiful place in a little cabin near that little church, that she said she painted while she was listening to "The Church in the Wildwood".   So, sweet Annie said she would add a little cottage or cabin for me on the painting...and so in her comment to me HERE, in yesterday's post, she said 

"I painted in a little house on the shore of Lake Pamela on the header. I named the lake for you since you want to live there. It's tiny to fit with the perspective of the picture but, its a nice home with your own path to the beach. I am not sure if it's what you had in mind but, let me know."

So of course I had to go look at it and see what she did on her post HERE, and sure enough, there was a lovely little cabin next to the church on the shore!  Now, I have copied the picture for you here, because I know that whenever she changes her header again on her post that picture will go away, and I wanted to preserve it to enjoy looking at and also to share with you, because it is so special and beautiful, so Annie, thank you so much! This is your painting, and I hope you don't mind me sharing it here:

Can you see the sweet little cabin next to the "Church in the Wildwood" on the shore of "Lake Pamela"?  Gosh, Annie! You have blessed me so much with this. Thank you, thank you, Thank you! I am saving this picture to look at and enjoy again and again!

Our blogging friends are such a group of talented and thoughtful people.  You all never cease to amaze me with your talents and special gifts.  Thank you all for your dedication to your craft of writing and sharing the things that matter to you with us. May we always treasure those gifts and show our deepest appreciation. 

To commemorate this special painting, I've been sitting here enjoying a "cup of cozy" tea, pretending I am on the shore of "Lake Pamela" in that cozy little cabin.  I told Annie that since the cabin is beside the church, of course my hubby would be the pastor of that "Church in the Wildwood", and we would live there serving God and never want to go anywhere else ever again!  Such a pleasant thought!   Hopefully there are some other cabins back there in the woods where other people live so we would have a congregation to worship with!  (or maybe they come across the lake in their boats? Either way, it's a nice dream!)

Once again, I thank you all for being such dear friends.  You do make our days so pleasant with your stories and pictures and interesting things you share.  Now it's time to go figure out what we are having for supper. We had a late lunch, but still eventually the tummy will grumble again and beg to be fed, so I'm off to the kitchen to figure it out. I didn't have time this morning to plan ahead.  Sounds like a good night for grilled cheese sandwiches and maybe some tomato soup.  

Good night my friends, and hug your loved ones a little bit closer as you say a prayer for those many families who lost their loved ones today.  Amen.

Matthew 5:4 NIV

4 Blessed are those who mourn,

for they will be comforted.

How Could I NOT Want This Day to Come? Updated on May 25, 2024, Ten Years Later

Dear Friends, I originally wrote this post ten years ago today, May 25, 2014, on the day that our precious son Matthew entered heaven's gates. Since that day we have grieved over the loss of his presence in our lives, but we have rejoiced in knowing where he is and that we will see him again some day. Since that day at lot has changed in our lives...we are all ten years older, and getting closer to heaven's gates ourselves.  One day we will experience what Matthew has already been enjoying for these past ten years. I am certain he will be at the gates with Jesus, ready to welcome us "home". Who knows? Maybe he has even had a part in helping to build our "mansion" in heaven...he always loved to draw house plans...but that house will be built with materials that last for eternity...no need of paint or plumbing or new roof shingles there...and no need for any more "good-byes".   Yes, we miss him here oh so much, but I wouldn't call him back to earth for anything. He is living where the roses never fade and the body never grows old again. I look forward to that day.  But until then,  we carry on with our lives and try to live the way Christ leads us to live. I pray that our lives will always reflect His great love.

Here is the original post written ten years ago:

Sunday, May 25th, 2014.  The Day I hoped would never come...but wait! I take that back!  Just shortly after midnight our wonderful son Matthew Everette Steiner passed from this life into eternity after a lengthy battle with a rare and aggressive cancer.  He was exactly 41 years and 3 months old today. For the past four years he has fought valiantly against this horrific foe...and today...well, today he is no longer fighting.  The battle is over. It is finished.  How could I NOT want this day to come?

Today begins an exciting new chapter in the life of Matthew Everette Steiner.  I repeat his full name...as it is a name that is ringing throughout the halls of heaven today!  As soon as Matthew took his last breath here on earth, he gulped a breath of celestial air for the first time...and began his adventure in paradise.  When he crossed over the threshold of those pearly gates, I believe there was a shout and there were victory dancers surrounding him as he was escorted through the streets of gold by the holy angels themselves.  The saints of old were lining the streets, cheering and waving, calling out his name and welcoming him HOME.  Yes, HOME...home at last.  He was greeted and hugged by his grandparents and friends and ancestors who have gone on before...and then, best of all, he was presented to the One Who Died for him...his Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ Himself.

Oh, how I would have loved to have been a little birdie on the wall watching this amazing event!  I would so love to have had just a glimpse of the joy on my precious son's face as he met Jesus face to face. To see him running and leaping through those jewel lined streets...strong and healthy and completely well!  No more sickness, no more fear, no more dying... Set free and totally healed...never to suffer ever again.

Yes, I am sad. I will miss this laughing, happy, fun loving child of mine.  I already miss hearing his voice. I am overcome with tears as waves of memories assail me frequently without warning. I am grieving for this great loss to our family and to his own sweet wife and son. There are no words that can describe what I am feeling adequately...but these word pictures do help me visualize the joy that he is experiencing...and I need to remember that.  My son is whole again...no more dying there...he is worshiping the King of Kings...and singing praises with the angels in glory. Again I ask, "How could I NOT want this day to come?"

Matthew Everette Steiner...before the cancer struck him
Healthy and whole...the way I expect he is today in heaven

Lind to a previous post, with more links to other posts about Matthew's life.

Celebrating The Life of a Son

 I started writing this last night, but just couldn't finish it.  I guess there is so much I want to say, and yet just couldn't find the words, so I went to bed to sleep on it.  I really wanted something to be on here on his birthday, but I am sure Matthew would understand.  So here we go again...beginning with where I was writing last night:

Today (February 25, 2023) is our son Matthew's 50th birthday. However, like he has for the past almost nine years, he is celebrating in heaven.  

It doesn't seem possible that it has been fifty years since I gave birth to this child.  His birth was a bit scary...things weren't going well...when he was finally born they whisked him away from me and put him where they could monitor his breathing, etc.  I never got to hold him and or really look at him because of the medicine I'd been given (a spinal), and to lift my head would give me a serious headache.  The Doctor told my husband that our baby could have some serious problems.  My husband didn't want to tell me, but I made him tell me what the Doctor had said.  I told him there was nothing wrong with our baby.  When they finally brought him to me I took one look at him and knew he was perfect in every way, and he was.  None of the dire predictions about him came true. Either the Doctor was wrong, or God healed him right then and there.  However, I did get the bad headache anyway and had to stay flat on my back for a week after going home from the hospital, which was no easy feat with an 18 month old child at home and a newborn baby...but God brought me through that too and everything was fine.

We named our son Matthew, which means "Gift of God". And he was that in every way. We had not "planned" on having another child that quickly after our first one, but God had other plans, and His plans are not our plans, but His plans are always best.

Our first two sons, Benton (2 yrs.) and Matthew (6 months)

Isaiah 55:8-9

8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.

9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  

Matthew was a wonderful child in every way, but somewhat precocious and bold.  Life would never be boring with Matthew around.  He was a happy child and full of energy and a zest for living. 

Matthew age 1

Our family in 1980, with sons Scott, Matthew, Benton

 I don't intend to write his whole life story here tonight, but felt like I needed to write something special on this, what would be his 50th birthday.  But I seem to be struggling.  Maybe I will have to finish this another time. 

I almost forgot...we traveled down to see our old house in Salt Springs, because I wanted to see for myself if there were any azaleas blooming in the old Memorial Garden. I had posted some pictures HERE LAST WEEK from when our son and DIL took a ride there and reported what sad condition everything outside was in.  They were right...the outside of the grounds around the house are in terrible shape...no one is taking care of it even though it is listed for sale at a very high price. We have not lived there for about 4 years, and we haven't been able to get up close to see the condition until now, because it is empty.  Anyway, I was pleased to see these azaleas blooming in the old Memorial Garden. It was somewhat comforting to sit in the arbor on Matthew's birthday, that we built in memory of him back when we lived there.  It was kind of bittersweet, but I'm glad we did it.

(Sunday, Feb. 26th), Okay, so that's where I left off last night. I've been going back and reading older posts that I wrote over the past thirteen years...yes, that's right...since 2010, when we first got the news that our son was diagnosed with cancer. Below are a lot of different links to posts that were written throughout those years as I was dealing with impending loss and wavering in hope and praying for miracles. Some of these stories are about Matthew's life before cancer, and the other miraculous events of his life.  

I don't expect you to go back and read all of these, unless you really want to. I mostly wanted to put them here for my own benefit, so I can find them more easily in the future. There are other posts beyond these that are not included that can probably be found by clicking on the topic, "Death of Child" in the right hand column of my blog page.  

Here's what I wrote Last Year at this time.

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2016/02/moments-of-grace-reflections-of-praise.html

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2014/03/testing-trials-and-miracles.html

God's Perfect Timing...a Miraculous Story

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2010/04/who-holds-keys-to-your-life.html

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2011/11/matthew-and-noahs-saga-of-moose-hunt.html

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2014/03/conversations-with-god.html

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2013/10/autumn-reflections-and-reality-checks.html

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2016/05/desires-of-heart-updated.html

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2014/05/how-could-i-not-want-this-day-to-come.html

These are just some random photos...

 

Our Three Sons, 1992

Matthew singing to his bride Nicole while dancing at their wedding.

He was singing along with Keith Green's song "Love With Me"

Keith Green singing 'Love With Me'

Matthew was a huge fan of Keith Green, and credits the testimony of Keith and his music of helping to lead him to commit his life to Christ when he was a teenager.

Matthew greeting his grandpa Mursch at his wedding rehearsal party, while his Granddaddy and Nanny Steiner looked on. They are all celebrating in heaven today.

Matthew dancing with my mother, his Grandma Mursch, at his wedding in 1993.

When Matthew became a daddy...1999

Matthew, me, and Noah 2013

"Deer Matthew"

Steiner men, Feb. 2014, John, Benton, Noah, Matt, Scott

Matthew and brother Benton walking together 2014

Our family, Feb. 2014

Matthew's 41st birthday party, Feb. 2014

The last family portrait of Matthew and his wife Nicole and Noah, when they were on vacation in February, 2014.   Matthew passed away on May 25, 2014.

If you do take the time to read through the above posts, I hope it will give you a better understanding of just who our son Matthew was.  There's so much more...but most of all, he was a wonderful Christian young man, son, brother, husband, father.  He loved Jesus, his family, and was a good friend and neighbor to those who had the privilege of knowing him. We don't understand why God chose to take him home so young. But we had to accept the fact that Matthew was definitely a gift of God to us for the time we were allowed to have him here with us.  Ultimately he belonged to God, and when God was ready to call him back home to heaven, we had to say farewell.  The wonderful thing is we know where Matthew is and that we will see him again one day in heaven. Right now he is there helping Jesus prepare a home for us to come to one day.  Jesus said, 

John 14:1-6

14 “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. 

2 In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. 

I go to prepare a place for you. 

3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; 

that where I am, there you may be also. 

4 And where I go you know, and the way you know.”

5 Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?”

6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. 

No one comes to the Father except through Me.

I guess I need to wrap this up.  Like I said before, I have put much of this together for my own benefit for future reference. But if you do take the time to read any of the linked posts, I hope there will be a story here that will touch your heart and help you to understand why Matthew's story was so unique and special.  He was a miracle child in so many ways...and when he died my thought was that I guess God ran out of miracles for him.  But that's not true.   The greatest miracle of all is that Matthew is alive and well today, no longer suffering from the pain and ravages of cancer, living in heaven with Jesus and all those who have gone on before us...and we will be together again one day. That gives me great peace and joy in my heart and helps me to cope when I find myself missing him, like right now.

This song was sung at Matthew's memorial service, another one by Keith Green. It was another special favorite.

Thank you for "listening" while I ramble on. I pray you all have a blessed and wonderful day. And please take time to kiss your babies and loved ones and let them know how much you love them while there is yet time.  No one is promised tomorrow.