I originally posted this on 5/31/2014, just one week after the passing of our son Matthew...after his 4 year battle with a deadly foe that just wouldn't give up. (Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Tumor- DSRCT). Today, 5/25/2016, marks the 2nd anniversary 5/25/2018, marks the 4th anniversary of his passing from this life into heaven. I repost this today to hopefully encourage someone out there who may be going through a similar trial and time of grief. I can honestly say that it does get a little easier with time...but only in the sense that we move from raw, unabashed sorrow and tears to a quieter, sweeter kind of grief. Acceptance? Perhaps. I know that in my head I do accept the fact that our son is gone from this earth forever...and that he is now in heaven...forever. But I still miss hearing his voice and seeing his face and feeling the warmth of his hugs. I will say that there are many times that I feel his presence near me...I really don't think heaven is all that far away. If only we could just reach through that veil and grasp onto each other again...but that is not to be...yet.
Someday I, too, will pass through that veil from this life into the next...and I truly believe that my son will be standing there, next to Jesus, with arms open wide...ready to welcome me "home". Until that day we will continue to carry on his memory in our hearts and in little things that we can do to keep his flame burning brightly. I pray that these words will bring comfort to someone today whose grief is still fresh and glaringly painful. May God's peace be your peace today. May you place your hope in Jesus...and trust Him to carry you through. He will.
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| Our Memorial Garden in our back yard, in loving memory of our son. A wonderful place to pray, meditate on God's Word, and remember a marvelous son. |
Original Post 5/31/14:
The Mighty One, will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
He will quiet you with His love,
He will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17
It is hard for me to realize that it was just one week ago today that I said my last farewells to my son Matthew. It would be several more hours, in the wee hours of the next morning that we would receive the word that he had taken his last breath here on earth. Can it be that a week has already passed? I believe I have been floating in a cloud mixed with sorrow and relief all week long. Sorrow that my wonderful son is no longer with us here on earth, and relief that my wonderful son is no longer suffering from disease and that he is now totally healed and safe in heaven.
I know, I have already said these things to you. I don't need to remind anyone about these events that have transpired this past week, especially not myself. Everyday brings fresh reminders to me as we prepare for his memorial service and think of ways to honor him and keep his flame burning bright. Sweet memories flash before my mind's eye, pictures of a precious little baby born earlier than expected and who lived a marvelous life and left this earth earlier than expected, 41 years later.
The one thing I am mindful of is how the Lord has been carrying me in His arms this past week. This morning as I read my daily devotions, the verse written above stood out in bright highlights to me. Especially the part about "He will quiet you with His love..." Yes, He has done just that. I have felt His love tenderly quieting my heart every time I have given over my mind to grief. When the tears began to overflow out of my eyes, I felt His hand gently wiping them away as He caressed my face. I believe I could hear Him singing a sweet lullaby as He held me close and rocked me like a little child who needed to be comforted.
This same One who saves us, rejoices over us with gladness, quiets us with His love, and rejoices over us with singing. I've heard Him singing...He has filled my heart with songs of joy, peace, promise and love. I have been flooded with songs in the night, the daytime, and at times when I didn't even think I could or should be singing.
Some of you may not understand how I could feel this great comfort...you may think I'm a bit daft in the head. But for those of us who have been there, we know how wonderful it is to have such a "Mighty One" as this Lord our God in our midst. "The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save..."
I take comfort in knowing that this "Mighty One" takes the time to notice my sorrow...He is touched with my grief. And He assures me that 'Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." (Psalm 30:5)
I cannot say enough about this "Mighty One"
"I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth." (Psalm 34:1)
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| This is the way I love to remember our "Deer" son. Always smiling and full of joy and mischief. |
For another post from Zephaniah 3:17, Click Here
