"The Mighty One" - Updated 5-25-2026

I originally posted this on 5/31/2014, just one week after the passing of our son Matthew...after his 4 year battle with a deadly foe that just wouldn't give up.  (Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Tumor- DSRCT).  Today, 5/25/2026, marks 12 years since his passing from this life into heaven. I have reposted this before in 2018, but what was said here originally 12 years ago and also in 2018 is still so real. I repost this today to hopefully encourage someone out there who may be going through a similar trial and time of grief.  I can honestly say that it does get a little easier with time...but only in the sense that we move from raw, unabashed sorrow and tears to a quieter, sweeter kind of grief. Acceptance? Perhaps.  I know that in my head I do accept the fact that our son is gone from this earth forever...and that he is now in heaven...forever.  But I still miss hearing his voice and seeing his face and feeling the warmth of his hugs.  I will say that there are many times that I feel his presence near me...I really don't think heaven is all that far away.  If only we could just reach through that veil and grasp onto each other again...but that is not to be...yet.  

Someday I, too, will pass through that veil from this life into the next...and I truly believe that my son will be standing there, next to Jesus, with arms open wide...ready to welcome me "home".  Until that day we will continue to carry on his memory in our hearts and in little things that we can do to keep his flame burning brightly.  I pray that these words will bring comfort to someone today whose grief is still fresh and glaringly painful.  May God's peace be your peace today.  May you place your hope in Jesus...and trust Him to carry you through. He will.

Our Memorial Garden in our back yard, in loving memory of our son. A wonderful place to pray, meditate on God's Word, and remember a marvelous son.

Original Post 5/31/14:

"The LORD your God in your midst,

The Mighty One, will save;

He will rejoice over you with gladness,

He will quiet you with His love,

He will rejoice over you with singing."

Zephaniah 3:17

It is hard for me to realize that it was just one week ago today that I said my last farewells to my son Matthew.  It would be several more hours, in the wee hours of the next morning that we would receive the word that he had taken his last breath here on earth.  Can it be that a week has already passed? I believe I have been floating in a cloud mixed with sorrow and relief all week long.  Sorrow that my wonderful son is no longer with us here on earth, and relief that my wonderful son is no longer suffering from disease and that he is now totally healed and safe in heaven.

I know, I have already said these things to you.  I don't need to remind anyone about these events that have transpired this past week, especially not myself.  Everyday brings fresh reminders to me as we prepare for his memorial service and think of ways to honor him and keep his flame burning bright.  Sweet memories flash before my mind's eye, pictures of a precious little baby born earlier than expected and who lived a marvelous life and  left this earth earlier than expected, 41 years later.

The one thing I am mindful of is how the Lord has been carrying me in His arms this past week. This morning as I read my daily devotions, the verse written above stood out in bright highlights to me. Especially the part about "He will quiet you with His love..."  Yes, He has done just that. I have felt His love tenderly quieting my heart every time I have given over my mind to grief. When the tears began to overflow out of my eyes, I felt His hand gently wiping them away as He caressed my face.  I believe I could hear Him singing a sweet lullaby as He held me close and rocked me like a little child who needed to be comforted.

This same One who saves us, rejoices over us with gladness, quiets us with His love, and rejoices over us with singing. I've heard Him singing...He has filled my heart with songs of joy, peace, promise and love.  I have been flooded with songs in the night, the daytime, and at times when I didn't even think I could or should be singing.

Some of you may not understand how I could feel this great comfort...you may think I'm a bit daft in the head. But for those of us who have been there, we know how wonderful it is to have such a "Mighty One" as this Lord our God in our midst. "The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save..."  

I take comfort in knowing that this "Mighty One" takes the time to notice my sorrow...He is touched with my grief.  And He assures me that 'Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." (Psalm 30:5)

I cannot say enough about this "Mighty One"

"I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth."  (Psalm 34:1)

This is the way I love to remember our "Deer" son.  Always smiling and full of joy and mischief.

Back to the present, 5/26/2026...today we are heading to a Memorial Day Picnic at our church. I am baking a cherry-blueberry cobbler.  It's good to keep busy on this day.  Benton and Rose will be there too. Hopefully I will have some pictures to share later.  Yesterday Scott was here and the "kids", and we cooked ribs and chicken on the grill,  along with corn on the cob, a salad, baked potatoes, and we had watermelon.  I didn't take one picture!  I wanted to plant something in memory of Matthew, as is our custom, but it was very hot and we were all tired and I didn't have what I wanted to plant, so we decided to wait.  Hopefully we will get some much needed rain this next week, as the storms that others are having in Florida continue to bypass us.  Once we get more rain it will be a better time to plant something.    I can smell the cherry/blueberry cobbler baking, and it's almost time to get it out of the oven, so I'd better go. I will write more probably tomorrow.  Thank you for bearing with me.  Hug your family tight whenever you can. Life is short.

Wednesday Treasures~Remembering Matthew

Hello Friends.  This may be a little different kind of post today.  You see, it is the 53rd birthday of our son Matthew, who is celebrating in heaven.  He's been celebrating there since May 25th, 2014...almost 12 years already, and that I can hardly fathom!

One of my favorite pictures of Matthew. I call it "Deer Matthew".

 The time really does fly, because in some ways it seems like it was just yesterday that he was still with us, celebrating his 41st birthday with our whole family.

This link tells more about that special birthday party, Matthew's 41st birthday, 

Matthew was enjoying his last birthday with all of the family there to celebrate with him.

I've been adding these links below to posts that I've written in memory of Matthew on his special birthdays since his passing, along with a few other special memories. I don't expect you to read all of these posts (unless you want to). I was trying to keep track of them for my own benefit.  Some of them may seem repetitive...I guess because,  sadly, there's no new news in Matthew's life to share.  So we cherish the wonderful memories that we do have and try to keep his memory alive in our hearts and minds.

Link to Matthew's 45th heavenly birthday (2018)

Link to Matthew's 49th heavenly birthday 

Link to Matthew's heavenly 50th birthday, which includes links to other posts about Matthew from his life.

Link to Matthew's 51st heavenly birthday

Link to Matthew's 52nd heavenly birthday

Link to "The Shaving Lesson", January, 2014

Link to Random Thoughts from a Grieving Heart, October 2014

Today we really didn't do anything special. I want to plant another rose bush in Matthew's memory, which hopefully will survive my lack of green thumb.  We may have to wait a little while, however, since we are still in a drought here.

I did go outside for a while and sat in the "Secret/Memorial Garden".  I had a little friend come and stay close to me...can you guess who it was?

Yep, Sweet Blackie...my trusty little companion...when I come outside he follows me around wherever I go...

Hello,  Blackie! You are looking very handsome today!

It was a beautiful day out in the garden...even if Still Waters Pond is still very very dry...

I walked down to the edge of the pond and looked around to where there should be water all around that "island" on the left side...I could probably walk all around it and maybe even across the pond, but I don't dare...the ground is very spongy and if my foot broke through, I would probably be up to my knees in muck. So, no thank you!

We dedicated this spot to Matthew after we moved here, because he loved ponds and fishing, and I know he would've loved it here...  

This picture was taken of Matthew on one of his trips down (from Maine) to visit us during those 4 years of battling cancer. Thankfully he was feeling well enough to go do some fishing while here on that particular trip...

These pictures were taken on the Ocklawaha River near the Eureka Bridge. (reference point for my memories).

And wonderfully, his brothers Scott and Benton were able to spend some time with him fishing while he was here...These are just some sweet memories I love to reflect on...

Back to the present:

Sadly the "Secret Memorial Garden" area is in need of a lot of work. But it's been So cold, and So dry...so maybe once the rains start up again I will be able to make this place look more like a garden again.

My poor swing is sinking down into the ground too...we need to do some repair work on it before I dare to "swing" in it again...

I was totally surprised to discover that the azalea bushes were starting to bloom!  That was a blessing and I consider it a gift...

Blackie enjoyed laying there on the ground next to my garden bench and it was as if he was sniffing the flowers and enjoying them...

He was also watching a bird somehwhere there in the area. I could hear it chirping in the distance. Thankfully Blackie didn't go searching for it.

Basically we spent a quiet day...our son Benton came over for a little visit while waiting for his truck to have some repairs  made to the AC system.  It's always wonderful when one of our kids comes over to visit.  I treasure those moments more and more as the years go by.  As we learned from our experience with Matthew, no one is granted immunity for sickness and troubles and sorrows in this life.  We must always be prepared for the possibility that at any time our soul might be required of us and we need to be ready to meet Jesus face to face immediately.  

I know Matthew was ready to go to heaven...he accepted Jesus as his Savior at an early age and lived his life as a devoted child of God.  He taught his son Noah all about the Lord from the time Noah was a baby...he made sure that he took the time to "train up (his) child in the way he should go, so that when he is old he will not depart from it..."(based on Proverbs 22:6). Matthew loved his wife Nicole and he honored his parents and lived an exemplary life...but most of all, he loved Jesus.  

Jesus promised that if we believe in Him, He would prepare a place for us in heaven, and that when the time is right, He will come and receive us to Himself so that we can be there with Him for eternity...

John 14:1-6  NKJV

1“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. 

2 In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. 

3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. 

4 And where I go you know, and the way you know.”

5 Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?”

6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. 

No one comes to the Father except through Me."

I have no doubt that Matthew believed this, and that he is with Jesus, enjoying whatever heavenly "mansion"  God has prepared for him.  He may even be helping build our mansions for when we go there some day. 

Tonight's Sunset...

Let's end this post on a happy "note"....I love this song "I'll Fly Away", here being sung by Reba McEntire and her family...and this is what I believe...

I’ll Fly Away

Some bright morning when this life is over

I’ll fly away

To that home on God’s celestial shore

I’ll fly away

Chorus:

I’ll fly away oh glory

I’ll fly away (in the morning)

When I die hallelujah by and by

I’ll fly away

When the shadows of this life have gone

I’ll fly away

Like a bird from these prison walls I’ll fly

I’ll fly away

(Chorus)

I’ll fly away oh glory

I’ll fly away (in the morning)

When I die hallelujah by and by

I’ll fly away

Just a few more weary days and then

I’ll fly away

To a land where joys will never end

I’ll fly away"

(Chorus)

I’ll fly away oh glory

I’ll fly away (in the morning)

When I die hallelujah by and by

I’ll fly away"

Happy Heavenly Birthday, Matthew! Some day we will "fly away" and be there with you..."Hallelujah By and By!"

Memorial Day Weekend and So Much More

 

John 15:13 KJV

13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Memorial Day weekend always brings a lot of mixed emotions for me.  Of course we think about those who gave their lives in service to our country...those who sacrificed everything so that we can live in freedom.  We don't ever want to forget them...or their loved ones who also made a huge sacrifice.  I also think of those who may have come back home from war, but they were never the same. So many suffer from PTSD, battle scars and wounds that we may not be able to see on the surface, but they carry them with them deep inside and their lives are forever changed. And then of course those who have physical wounds that have altered their lives significantly as well.  Yes, we honor and remember them, and pray for them and their loved ones who must  also deal with the changes in their beloved that affects their whole lives and relationships.  May we pause to remember them all, and do our part to live in such a way that is worthy of their sacrifices. Living here in our country is a privilege and a blessing that we should never take for granted. Our world is so full of strife and volatility...and if it weren't for those on the front lines making these sacrifices for us, we would not be able to continue to live in such peace and comfort.  

Of course, Memorial Day Weekend also signals the beginning of "summertime" here in America...maybe not literally the Summer Solstice, which isn't until June 21st, but it seems to be the unofficicial kick off for summer vacations and activities.  In many places school is already out or soon will be, and people are ready to head to the beaches, lakes, parks, picnic grounds and all other outdoor activities. We took a ride yesterday morning to go see where our son was set up with his products for a flea market.  The community where he was is also a kind of outdoor activity destination in the Ocala National Forest. There are lakes and springs and a river and campgrounds and woods.  The boats were lined up at the  boat ramps and people were very anxious to get out on the water and enjoy a beautiful sunny day. Cars were lined up at the entrance to the Springs (Salt Springs State Park) for about a mile, waiting for them to open the gates. 

These pictures were taken actually on our way back home, across the big bridge in Eureka, FL., which was built originally to be a part of the Cross Florida Barge Canal, but that project was scrapped in the 1960's.  

Up Up and away!

At the top of the bridge...

Going back down the other side...

Blast from the past, this is me back in 2012, standing under that bridge...

This is what I wrote on Facebook with this picture (below) back in 2012: "You have to come see this very high long bridge out in the middle of nowhere to believe it. Our tax dollars at work (back in the 1960's) before the Barge Canal was scrapped due to environmental concerns."  Click HERE for the history of this project.

Unfortunately not that many people were as interested in going to the flea market as they were in getting to the water.  So it wasn't a great day for sales for our son, but he didn't do too badly.  Here's a few pictures I took there:

He used to do a lot of signs back when we lived there in the forest and he used to be at this flea market all the time.  I think he's decided to wait and go back in the fall when the snow-birds and weekend campers are there, and when it's a lot cooler.

I love these crosses...

There's usually a vegetable stand there, and I decided to buy a watermelon so we could have it today when "the kids" all came over for lunch...it was a seedless watermelon...and VERY SWEET and DELICIOUS!

Here's my piece!  It REALLY was good!!!  Question, do you put salt on your watermelon? I usually do, and I did today, but honestly, it was so sweet I probably didn't need to.

I didn't take any other pictures of the family here with us today...we were too busy enjoying our grilled hamburgers, hotdogs, baked beans, deviled eggs, corn on the cob, fresh sliced tomatoes and lettuce and onions and then the watermelon for dessert. It was all very good and very special, just being together.

I took this picture a little while ago, as I thought about this day and all that it means to us.

You see, for us, this day holds other special memories.  Today, May 25th, 2025, is the 11th anniversary of the passing of our son Matthew from this life into heaven.  So you see why Memorial Day weekend holds a lot of emotion and memories for us.

I know these pictures aren't very clear, but this is on the counter top of the island in our kitchen, and I keep these photos there to remind me of our son in his happier, healthier days, before he was struck with cancer in 2010, and fought it bravely and valiantly for 4 years before Jesus called him home in 2014.

And this photo is on our refrigerator door...this is the last "family portrait" of Matthew and his wife Nicole and their son Noah, taken in the spring of 2014 when they were down here in Florida for a vacation and to celebrate Matthew's 41st birthday with us and all the family. They spent a few days together at the beach before heading back to Maine.  Three months later his battle with cancer was over and he was in heaven, totally healed and never to suffer any more pain.

So yes, Memorial Day weekend has a special significance for us.  

I saw this quote from Martin Luther on the little devotional calendar yesterday, and it spoke to my heart:

Yes, that is so true...the "things" we have held in our hands that are temporal; houses, land, personal "treasures", those are all gone when we leave this world.  But our loved ones, especially our children...they never really belonged to us...they are a gift to us from God...on "loan" from God for us to nurture, love, cherish and teach them to love and believe in God, but if and when God says it is time for them to come "home" to be with Him in Heaven, we have no choice but to let them go.  They belong to Him, not us.  But the good news is, because we have done our part to place our children in God's hands when we dedicate them to the Lord, we know that He will receive them back with love and tenderest care, and someday we will all be reunited in Heaven for eternity.  That is the believer's great hope and prayer. 

That's why this verse in Proverbs 22:6 is so important for every parent to know and believe...

Even if our child should wander away and go his own way for a time, I truly believe that if we have done our part as parents in teaching them about the love of Jesus, when that child is older he will come back to those "roots" that were planted so long ago.  We personally may not live to see it here on earth, but I truly believe the time will come when that "child" will remember the faith that was taught to him/her as a child, and he will come "home" eventually.  That's why we should never stop praying for our children no matter how old they are or how far away they've roamed.  God hears our prayers, and He knows which children are His, and John 10:28-29 tells us that NO ONE shall ever be able to snatch them out of God's hand...

John 10:27-30 NKJV

 27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. 

28 And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. 

29 My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand. 

30 I and My Father are one.”

I hope this brings some comfort to you today.

Thank you for hanging in there with me through this whole long post.  It's been a difficult day, but a beautiful day, and I am so thankful for all that God has given me. I know that none of that which I have placed in His hands will ever be lost.  Praise God!!

I hope that you and yours will have a peaceful and blessed Memorial Day tomorrow. Remember those who have given so much for our freedom, and perhaps also remember those that you love who have gone on before to their great reward and final rest.  We have so much to look forward to someday!!!

Good Night my friends.

In Memory of a Wonderful Man, Our Son Matthew

Our son Matthew, December 4, 2009, just after earning his yellow belt in Tae Kwon Do

Matthew and his son Noah, who also earned his own green belt at the same time.

Matthew in action...

These pictures above were taken in December of 2009, just a few months before he was diagnosed with Desmoplastic Small Round Cell Tumor, a rare and deadly cancer that would take his life after a valiant battle for over four years. It's amazing to me to see him above as a picture of perfect health, and then just a few months later to receive the devastating news that he had terminal cancer.

Here is the Tae Kwon Do instructor, "Thy", presenting Matthew with a black belt for his bravery and courage in fighting this horrific foe for four very difficult years, April 2014, just about one month before Matthew passed away on May 25, 2014, at the age of 41 years and 3 months.

This is what I wrote on Matthew's Facebook page this morning. Yes, he still has a Facebook page. I'm so glad it hasn't been taken down, as there are a lot of sweet memories and messages there from Matthew from over the years:

"Today, February 25, 2025, is your 52nd birthday, Matthew Steiner. But you've been celebrating your birthdays in heaven since you arrived there on May 25, 2014. I can only imagine what joys and blessings you've been enjoying for all these years. Today I found myself looking back at these photos of when you were in Tae Kwon Do, and first when you earned your yellow belt on 12/4/2009..which was just a few months before you were diagnosed with cancer. And then when your Tae Kwon Do "Master" Thy presented you with your Black Belt in April of 2014, after you had been valiantly fighting your battle with cancer for 4 long years, and just about one month before you entered heaven, where you received your greatest reward ever...meeting Jesus face to face and being welcomed into heaven by the true Master of Heaven and earth. Someday we will join you there, and we look forward to that day with all our hearts.
John 14:1-3 KJV
1 "Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me.
2 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also."
Happy Heavenly Birthday, Matthew Steiner. We love you and miss you here, but we know we will see you again someday! Praise be to Jesus!!"

Every year at this time I struggle with what to say and what to do, but I don't want the day to pass without doing something in his memory.  In times past we have usually planted something in the "Memorial Garden", or the "Butterfly Garden", or somewhere on our property in his memory.  Sadly, you'd never know it to look at our gardens today. Of course it's still "winter", and we had a big freeze a couple of weeks ago which froze a lot of our plants...but hopefully most of them will come back.

So this morning hubby and I went to our local Ace Hardware garden center and picked out this healthy looking Hibiscus plant.  It has lots of buds on it, so hopefully it will bloom and thrive.  I just spoke with our son Benton about helping us plant it, and we decided to wait until Sunday when hopefully our other son Scott will come down and we can all plant it together. That's what we've done in the past, made it a family affair.  

Hopefully I can keep this alive and growing and blooming!

Here's a Link to a post written on February 25, 2024, where we planted a rose bush.  That bush is still alive at least, but it hasn't done much blooming recently. Hopefully with all the rain we've been having this month it will come back and start blooming again. Likewise the same for the rose bush that is in the Memorial Garden that I've written about many times in the past.  I do see new growth on it, so hopefully it will start blooming again soon.

Memorial Garden Rose Bush 2/25/2025

Link to post I wrote on this day in 2023, Matthew's 50th birthday. Within this post there are links to many other previous posts that I wrote over the years about Matthew's life.

Yes, we want his memory to live on, until we meet again someday in heaven. And then it will be someone else's turn to keep the memories alive...but for us in heaven it will be all JOY and Thanksgiving!

This picture was taken at Matthew's last birthday party here on earth, February 25, 2014. It was a day of a lot of laughter and joy, as our whole family gathered together to celebrate his birthday! As you can tell, he was having a great time.  That's the way I like to remember him...our happy, goofy, wonderful Matthew.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Matthew! Until we meet again.