Celebrating The Life of a Son

 I started writing this last night, but just couldn't finish it.  I guess there is so much I want to say, and yet just couldn't find the words, so I went to bed to sleep on it.  I really wanted something to be on here on his birthday, but I am sure Matthew would understand.  So here we go again...beginning with where I was writing last night:

Today (February 25, 2023) is our son Matthew's 50th birthday. However, like he has for the past almost nine years, he is celebrating in heaven.  

It doesn't seem possible that it has been fifty years since I gave birth to this child.  His birth was a bit scary...things weren't going well...when he was finally born they whisked him away from me and put him where they could monitor his breathing, etc.  I never got to hold him and or really look at him because of the medicine I'd been given (a spinal), and to lift my head would give me a serious headache.  The Doctor told my husband that our baby could have some serious problems.  My husband didn't want to tell me, but I made him tell me what the Doctor had said.  I told him there was nothing wrong with our baby.  When they finally brought him to me I took one look at him and knew he was perfect in every way, and he was.  None of the dire predictions about him came true. Either the Doctor was wrong, or God healed him right then and there.  However, I did get the bad headache anyway and had to stay flat on my back for a week after going home from the hospital, which was no easy feat with an 18 month old child at home and a newborn baby...but God brought me through that too and everything was fine.

We named our son Matthew, which means "Gift of God". And he was that in every way. We had not "planned" on having another child that quickly after our first one, but God had other plans, and His plans are not our plans, but His plans are always best.

Our first two sons, Benton (2 yrs.) and Matthew (6 months)

Isaiah 55:8-9

8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.

9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  

Matthew was a wonderful child in every way, but somewhat precocious and bold.  Life would never be boring with Matthew around.  He was a happy child and full of energy and a zest for living. 

Matthew age 1

Our family in 1980, with sons Scott, Matthew, Benton

 I don't intend to write his whole life story here tonight, but felt like I needed to write something special on this, what would be his 50th birthday.  But I seem to be struggling.  Maybe I will have to finish this another time. 

I almost forgot...we traveled down to see our old house in Salt Springs, because I wanted to see for myself if there were any azaleas blooming in the old Memorial Garden. I had posted some pictures HERE LAST WEEK from when our son and DIL took a ride there and reported what sad condition everything outside was in.  They were right...the outside of the grounds around the house are in terrible shape...no one is taking care of it even though it is listed for sale at a very high price. We have not lived there for about 4 years, and we haven't been able to get up close to see the condition until now, because it is empty.  Anyway, I was pleased to see these azaleas blooming in the old Memorial Garden. It was somewhat comforting to sit in the arbor on Matthew's birthday, that we built in memory of him back when we lived there.  It was kind of bittersweet, but I'm glad we did it.

(Sunday, Feb. 26th), Okay, so that's where I left off last night. I've been going back and reading older posts that I wrote over the past thirteen years...yes, that's right...since 2010, when we first got the news that our son was diagnosed with cancer. Below are a lot of different links to posts that were written throughout those years as I was dealing with impending loss and wavering in hope and praying for miracles. Some of these stories are about Matthew's life before cancer, and the other miraculous events of his life.  

I don't expect you to go back and read all of these, unless you really want to. I mostly wanted to put them here for my own benefit, so I can find them more easily in the future. There are other posts beyond these that are not included that can probably be found by clicking on the topic, "Death of Child" in the right hand column of my blog page.  

Here's what I wrote Last Year at this time.

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2016/02/moments-of-grace-reflections-of-praise.html

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2014/03/testing-trials-and-miracles.html

God's Perfect Timing...a Miraculous Story

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2010/04/who-holds-keys-to-your-life.html

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2011/11/matthew-and-noahs-saga-of-moose-hunt.html

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2014/03/conversations-with-god.html

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2013/10/autumn-reflections-and-reality-checks.html

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2016/05/desires-of-heart-updated.html

https://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2014/05/how-could-i-not-want-this-day-to-come.html

These are just some random photos...

 

Our Three Sons, 1992

Matthew singing to his bride Nicole while dancing at their wedding.

He was singing along with Keith Green's song "Love With Me"

Keith Green singing 'Love With Me'

Matthew was a huge fan of Keith Green, and credits the testimony of Keith and his music of helping to lead him to commit his life to Christ when he was a teenager.

Matthew greeting his grandpa Mursch at his wedding rehearsal party, while his Granddaddy and Nanny Steiner looked on. They are all celebrating in heaven today.

Matthew dancing with my mother, his Grandma Mursch, at his wedding in 1993.

When Matthew became a daddy...1999

Matthew, me, and Noah 2013

"Deer Matthew"

Steiner men, Feb. 2014, John, Benton, Noah, Matt, Scott

Matthew and brother Benton walking together 2014

Our family, Feb. 2014

Matthew's 41st birthday party, Feb. 2014

The last family portrait of Matthew and his wife Nicole and Noah, when they were on vacation in February, 2014.   Matthew passed away on May 25, 2014.

If you do take the time to read through the above posts, I hope it will give you a better understanding of just who our son Matthew was.  There's so much more...but most of all, he was a wonderful Christian young man, son, brother, husband, father.  He loved Jesus, his family, and was a good friend and neighbor to those who had the privilege of knowing him. We don't understand why God chose to take him home so young. But we had to accept the fact that Matthew was definitely a gift of God to us for the time we were allowed to have him here with us.  Ultimately he belonged to God, and when God was ready to call him back home to heaven, we had to say farewell.  The wonderful thing is we know where Matthew is and that we will see him again one day in heaven. Right now he is there helping Jesus prepare a home for us to come to one day.  Jesus said, 

John 14:1-6

14 “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. 

2 In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. 

I go to prepare a place for you. 

3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; 

that where I am, there you may be also. 

4 And where I go you know, and the way you know.”

5 Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?”

6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. 

No one comes to the Father except through Me.

I guess I need to wrap this up.  Like I said before, I have put much of this together for my own benefit for future reference. But if you do take the time to read any of the linked posts, I hope there will be a story here that will touch your heart and help you to understand why Matthew's story was so unique and special.  He was a miracle child in so many ways...and when he died my thought was that I guess God ran out of miracles for him.  But that's not true.   The greatest miracle of all is that Matthew is alive and well today, no longer suffering from the pain and ravages of cancer, living in heaven with Jesus and all those who have gone on before us...and we will be together again one day. That gives me great peace and joy in my heart and helps me to cope when I find myself missing him, like right now.

This song was sung at Matthew's memorial service, another one by Keith Green. It was another special favorite.

Thank you for "listening" while I ramble on. I pray you all have a blessed and wonderful day. And please take time to kiss your babies and loved ones and let them know how much you love them while there is yet time.  No one is promised tomorrow.