So I've been having some "conversations with God" today. Not just prayers, although there have been plenty of them going up. No, these are conversations, only perhaps more like monologues, since I haven't heard God's response audibly. That doesn't mean He isn't listening or responding. I know He is doing both. His response is in subtle ways within my heart and soul. I know He hears me, and I know He cares. But I'm still asking the questions and telling God what's on my heart.
I've been reminding God all day about all the ways He has already rescued our son from serious illnesses and accidents. Click Here for those stories.
I've even had the audacity to ask Him just what does He expect to accomplish by allowing our son to die at the age of 41, when he has a wife and a 14 year old son to raise?
Even David the King had feelings like this:
I'm not complaining or demanding...just asking. I'm not angry with God...but I want to understand His plan. I feel a little bit like Mary, the mother of Jesus...pondering all these things in my heart. (Luke 2:19) Not that I am comparing my son to Jesus, but I'm comparing myself to Mary, a mother, who loved her Son, and didn't fully comprehend all the things that happened to Him.
Click here for previous post from last fall on this topic
Is it wrong to question God? I don't believe so. I think He understands. I KNOW He understands.
I know we have some difficult days ahead of us. There will be weeping...but I also know that the day will come when we will have joy again.