What Do You See Outside YOUR Open Window Today?

What Do You See Outside YOUR Open Window Today?
Remember: "When God closes a door, He always opens a window!" You never know what might be out there waiting for you!
Showing posts with label Conversations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conversations. Show all posts

Sunday, March 16, 2014

"Trust His Heart"

Lately I've been having a lot of "conversations with God" about the health situation of our son Matthew.
Click Here for "Conversations With God"  In looking back over the past four years, I realized that this has been a recurring theme throughout my blog writing.  Click Here for "A Prayer for Our Son" from October, 2012.  There are several more such postings, but I won't list them all for you here. I think you get the message.

We are praying for the healing of our son, even though the doctors have now given up hope for any further treatment plan that could be of any help to him.  They have actually said the words out loud that, at best, he only has three or four more months to live.*   Even though we've known in our minds that things were not looking very hopeful, hearing it spoken out loud has a way of slapping you in the face and punching you right in the gut, knocking all the wind out of your spirit.
(*A few days after this writing the Doctor changed that to prognosis to weeks instead of months...)

Many of our friends and loved ones have offered prayers and words of comfort and encouragement, for which we are extremely grateful. Knowing that others are standing in the gap for us is a great comfort. Many have also thoughtfully and lovingly offered suggestions of getting a second opinion, trying a different cancer treatment center, seeking other forms of healing through eating certain foods, vitamins, reading books written by people who claim to know the secret to healing cancer that is found in the Bible. (If there was a cure for cancer in the Bible, I don't think God would keep it a secret, nor would He make us pay some man who thinks he discovered it to tell us about it...but that's just my opinion).  

Although we appreciate everyone's concern and thoughts and attempts to find an answer, I have to say that it would appear that most of man's attempts to cure our son have already been tried and have failed.  For four years our son has sought wisdom from the very best experts in the field of treatment for this particular type of rare and aggressive cancer. He has followed through with every option that seemed reasonable for him.  We are extremely thankful that what treatment he has received has allowed him to survive these four years so that he could be a loving son, husband and father, and enjoy watching his son grow and mature into his teenage years.  Many others with this same type of cancer have not had lasting positive results even though they desperately sought further treatments, surgeries, and other opinions. (Click here for info on DSRCT)

We are not giving up hope.  But we are at a point where we realize that man's wisdom and authority is very limited indeed.  Although it has always been up to God to determine the course of our son's life, it is even more so now.  Man has had his opportunity and has had to withdraw from the fight. It is completely and clearly up to God now.

This reminds me of some verses we read this morning in our devotions from Psalm 33:16-22 ~

"No king is saved by the 
multitude of an army;
A mighty man is not delivered by great strength.

A horse is a vain hope for safety;
Neither shall it deliver any by its great strength.

Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him,
On those who hope in His mercy,

To deliver their soul from death,
and to keep them alive in famine.

Our soul waits for the Lord;
He is our help and our shield.
For our heart shall rejoice in Him,
Because we have trusted in His holy name.
Let Your mercy, O Lord, be upon us,
Just as we hope in You."

In a message we recently received from an old friend who was a former parishioner in one of the churches my husband pastored, she reminded us of a song that my husband and I sang as a duet one Sunday.  This was a song that was shared with us by a woman whose husband was dying from a brain tumor.  It was also at the same time as our son, Matthew (yes, the same one we are praying for now), who was only 18 at the time, was having surgery to remove a brain tumor. (Click Here for this story: God's Perfect Timing)   She gave us a tape of some music that was very meaningful for her during that difficult time, and thought it would bring hope and encouragement to us.  It did.   And still does.  Here are the words to that song. You might find it helpful in whatever current trial you may be experiencing in your life.  It is entitled, "Trust His Heart".

"All things work for our good, though sometimes we can't see how they could.
Struggles that break our hearts in two sometimes blind us to the truth.
Our Father knows what's best for us, His ways are not our own.
So when your pathway grows dim, and you just can't see Him,
Remember you're never alone.

Chorus:
God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind.
So when you don't understand,
When you don't see His plan,
When you can't trace His hand
TRUST HIS HEART.

He sees the master plan, 
He holds our future in His hands
So don't live as those who have no hope
All our hope is found in Him.

We see the present clearly
But He sees the first and the last
And like a tapestry
He's weaving you and me
To someday be just like Him.

(Chorus)

He alone is faithful and true.  He alone knows what is best for you.
So when you don't understand,
When you don't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
TRUST HIS HEART."

(Words and music by Babbie Mason and Eddie Carswell, 1989)

Please keep praying for this precious family.
Thank you.

"And when you don't understand,
When you don't see His plan,
When you can't trace His hand,
TRUST HIS HEART."
That's what I am trying to do.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Conversations With God

Today has been a day that I hoped would never come. This morning our son, who has been battling cancer for four years, received the news from his doctor that we prayed he would never have to hear.  After several days in the hospital, and four years of fighting with every treatment plan available for this particular rare disease, (DSRCT) the oncologist told my son that they have done everything possible for him.  There is no other reasonable treatment option left that they could recommend.  And with that being said, he told him that under the present circumstances he could only expect to live another three or four months at the most.

So I've been having some "conversations with God" today.  Not just prayers, although there have been plenty of them going up.  No, these are conversations, only perhaps more like monologues, since I haven't heard God's response audibly.  That doesn't mean He isn't listening or responding.  I know He is doing both. His response is in subtle ways within my heart and soul. I know He hears me, and I know He cares.  But I'm still asking the questions and telling God what's on my heart.

I've been reminding God all day about all the ways He has already rescued our son from serious illnesses and accidents. Click Here for those stories.

I've even had the audacity to ask Him just what does He expect to accomplish by allowing our son to die at the age of 41, when he has a wife and a 14 year old son to raise?
 I want to know how God will be glorified through the death of our son.  With all due respect to God, I am the mother of this wonderful son, and I think I deserve an answer.

Even David the King had feelings like this:

I cried out to You, O Lord;
and to the Lord I made supplication:
"What profit is there in my blood,
When I go down to the pit?
Will the dust praise You?
Will it declare Your truth?
Hear, O Lord, and have mercy on me;
Lord, be my helper!"
(Psalm 30:8-10)


I'm not complaining or demanding...just asking.  I'm not angry with God...but I want to understand His plan. I feel a little bit like Mary, the mother of Jesus...pondering all these things in my heart. (Luke 2:19)  Not that I am comparing my son to Jesus, but I'm comparing myself to Mary, a mother, who loved her Son, and didn't fully comprehend all the things that happened to Him.

Click here for previous post from last fall on this topic

Is it wrong to question God? I don't believe so.  I think He understands.  I KNOW He understands.

"The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their cry."
Psalm 34:15

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears,
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to those who
have a broken heart,
and saves such as have a 
contrite spirit."
Psalm 34:17-18

"Sing praise to the Lord,
you saints of His,
and give thanks at the
remembrance of His holy name.
For His anger is but for a moment,
His favor is for life;
Weeping may endure for a night,
But Joy comes in the morning."
Psalm 30:4-5

I know we have some difficult days ahead of us.  There will be weeping...but I also know that the day will come when we will have joy again.

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,
To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.
O Lord my God,
I will give thanks to You forever."
Psalm 30:11-12

"But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord;
I say, "You are my God."
My times are in Your hand..."
Psalm 31:14-15a

"Be of good courage,
and He shall strengthen your heart,
All you who hope in the Lord."
Psalm 31:24


"Hear my cry, O God;
Attend to my prayer.
From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
Psalm 61:1-2
Amen.

The conversations are not over, I am certain.  But I have comfort and peace within my heart tonight. 

"God has spoken once,
Twice I have heard this;
That power belongs to God.
Also to You, O Lord, belongs mercy..."
Psalm 62:11-12