The Secret Garden Chronicles-Day 6-He Hideth My Soul

Today it was a little rainy, cold and dreary, so it wasn't a good day to sit in the Secret Garden...

Looking out the window toward the Secret Garden

But  God had already prepared another place for me to sit under the cover of our back porch, and still be in a quiet, peaceful place, sheltered by His loving hands.

This is also a very special place , set apart as a memorial garden in loving memory of our precious son Matthew, who was called away to heaven much too soon for us, but right on time in God's perfect plan for his life.

And so I ventured out, and entered the garden and prepared my heart for worship.  The first thing I noticed before sitting down was how the birds were being sheltered within the trees and the birdfeeder, as they waited out the drizzly rain.

And immediately my heart started to sing and praise the Lord , yes, I actually sang silently so as not to disturb the birds, but my heart was singing out loud, and I know God heard me...

"A wonderful Savior is Jesus, my Lord,

A wonderful Savior to me..

He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock

where rivers of pleasure I see.

Chorus:

He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock

that shadows a dry thirsty land,

He hideth my life in the depths of His love,

and covers me there with His hand...

And covers me there with His hand.

A wonderful Savior is Jesus, my Lord;

He taketh my burden away..

He holdeth me up, and I shall not be moved;

He giveth me strength as my day...

(chorus)

With numberless blessings 

each moment He crowns,

and, filled with His fullness divine,

I sing in my rapture,

Oh! Glory to God!

For such a Redeemer as mine!

(chorus)

When clothed in His brightness,

transported I rise

to meet Him in clouds of the sky;

His perfect salvation,

His wonderful love,

I'll SHOUT with the millions on high!!

(Chorus)

(He Hideth My Soul, by Fanny Crosby)

Then God directed me to Isaiah 51:15-16:

"But I Am the Lord your God,

Who divided the sea whose waves roared--

The Lord of hosts is His name.

And I have put MY words in your mouth,

I have covered you with the shadow of MY hand..."

And I responded with Psalm 32:7-8:

"You are my hiding place;

You shall preserve me from trouble;

You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.

I (God) will instruct you and teach you

in the way you should go;

I will guide you with my eye."

Then God brought me to Psalm 31 as follows:

14> "But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord;

I say, 'You are my God,

15>  My times are in Your hand...'"

19> "Oh how great is Your goodness,

which You have laid up for those who fear You...

which You have prepared for those who trust in You

in the presence of the sons of men!

20>  You (GOD) shall hide them in the 

"secret place" of Your Presence 

from the plots of man;

You shall keep them "secretly"

in a pavilion from the strife of tongues."

I couldn't help but notice how God was showing me how He is covering me (us) with His loving hands...and hiding us in the "secret place"...away from the plots of men and those who would seek to harm us.  In this current day and age, many of us have concerns about the "plots of men and those who would seek to harm us"...terrorists and other enemies of our nation, as well as the enemies of our faith.  But God is sheltering, protecting, and keeping us safe in the secret place of His love. We need not fear what man may do to us.

My heart broke out in song again:  singing the praise chorus that says...

"How Great is our God... (click HERE for video "world" version with Chris Tomlin)

"How Great Is Our God"

The splendor of a king
Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice

He wraps Himself in light,
And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice

How great is our God
Sing with me
How great is our God
And all will see
How great, how great is our God

Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end

The Godhead Three in One
Father, Spirit and Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb

How great is our God
Sing with me
How great is our God
And all will see
How great, how great is our God

Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God

Name above all names
You are worthy of all praise
And my heart will sing
How great is our God

[3x]
How great is our God
Sing with me
How great is our God
And all will see
How great, how great is our God

And then I sang the more familiar chorus to "How Great Thou Art"

"Then sings my soul,

my Savior God, to Thee;

How great Thou art,

How great Thou art...

Then I looked across the page in my Bible Psalm 30, and I see some of the verses that I've underlined as they've become precious to me since the passing of our son almost three years ago...

Psalm 30:4-5

"Sing praise to the Lord,

you saints of His,

and give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name...

For His anger is but for a moment,

His favor is for LIFE;

Weeping may endure for a night,

but JOY comes in the morning!"

Verse 11:

"You have turned for my my mourning into dancing;

You have put off my sackcloth

and clothed me with gladness,

 12:

To the end that my glory may sing praise to You

and not be silent...

O Lord my God,

I will give thanks to YOU forever..."

"Then sings my soul,

My Savior God, to Thee...

How great Thou art,

How Great Thou art!"

No, I'm not so calloused that I no longer mourn or grieve the loss of our son, 

But...I KNOW where he is!!  He's with God Our Father, Jesus the Son, Our Savior, and the Holy Spirit...All there together...in heaven for eternity!  And we will see him again one day,

so how can I be sad?  He's safe at home, eternally!  Praise God for that peace and assurance!  

"Blessed Assurance, Jesus is mine!

Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!

Heir of salvation,

purchase of God,

born of His Spirit,

washed in His blood.

This is my story,

this is my song,

Praising my Savior

all the day long.

This is my story,

this is my song;

Praising my Savior all the day long!!"

Amen

(Blessed Assurance, by Fanny Crosby)

Note: I sure look forward to meeting 

Fanny Crosby someday in heaven!

What a blessing she has been to me and 

countless millions of people who have sung 

the hymns she wrote out of her heart and love for

Jesus Christ our Savior!

I pray that your Sunday worship is a time of great joy, knowing that the Lord hides our soul in the cleft of the rock...and that He is keeping us safe within the shelter of His loving hands.  

"How Great is OUR God!!!"  

Amen!!

Conversations With God

Today has been a day that I hoped would never come. This morning our son, who has been battling cancer for four years, received the news from his doctor that we prayed he would never have to hear.  After several days in the hospital, and four years of fighting with every treatment plan available for this particular rare disease, (DSRCT) the oncologist told my son that they have done everything possible for him.  There is no other reasonable treatment option left that they could recommend.  And with that being said, he told him that under the present circumstances he could only expect to live another three or four months at the most.

So I've been having some "conversations with God" today.  Not just prayers, although there have been plenty of them going up.  No, these are conversations, only perhaps more like monologues, since I haven't heard God's response audibly.  That doesn't mean He isn't listening or responding.  I know He is doing both. His response is in subtle ways within my heart and soul. I know He hears me, and I know He cares.  But I'm still asking the questions and telling God what's on my heart.

I've been reminding God all day about all the ways He has already rescued our son from serious illnesses and accidents. Click Here for those stories.

I've even had the audacity to ask Him just what does He expect to accomplish by allowing our son to die at the age of 41, when he has a wife and a 14 year old son to raise?

 I want to know how God will be glorified through the death of our son.  With all due respect to God, I am the mother of this wonderful son, and I think I deserve an answer.

Even David the King had feelings like this:

I cried out to You, O Lord;

and to the Lord I made supplication:

"What profit is there in my blood,

When I go down to the pit?

Will the dust praise You?

Will it declare Your truth?

Hear, O Lord, and have mercy on me;

Lord, be my helper!"

(Psalm 30:8-10)

I'm not complaining or demanding...just asking.  I'm not angry with God...but I want to understand His plan. I feel a little bit like Mary, the mother of Jesus...pondering all these things in my heart. (Luke 2:19)  Not that I am comparing my son to Jesus, but I'm comparing myself to Mary, a mother, who loved her Son, and didn't fully comprehend all the things that happened to Him.

Click here for previous post from last fall on this topic

Is it wrong to question God? I don't believe so.  I think He understands.  I KNOW He understands.

"The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,

And His ears are open to their cry."

Psalm 34:15

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears,

and delivers them out of all their troubles.

The Lord is near to those who

have a broken heart,

and saves such as have a 

contrite spirit."

Psalm 34:17-18

"Sing praise to the Lord,

you saints of His,

and give thanks at the

remembrance of His holy name.

For His anger is but for a moment,

His favor is for life;

Weeping may endure for a night,

But Joy comes in the morning."

Psalm 30:4-5

I know we have some difficult days ahead of us.  There will be weeping...but I also know that the day will come when we will have joy again.

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,

To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.

O Lord my God,

I will give thanks to You forever."

Psalm 30:11-12

"But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord;

I say, "You are my God."

My times are in Your hand..."

Psalm 31:14-15a

"Be of good courage,

and He shall strengthen your heart,

All you who hope in the Lord."

Psalm 31:24

"Hear my cry, O God;

Attend to my prayer.

From the end of the earth I will cry to You,

When my heart is overwhelmed;

Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."

Psalm 61:1-2

Amen.

The conversations are not over, I am certain.  But I have comfort and peace within my heart tonight. 

"God has spoken once,

Twice I have heard this;

That power belongs to God.

Also to You, O Lord, belongs mercy..."

Psalm 62:11-12