Monday Monday~

 Good Monday Morning! This is the last Monday in June and it will be July 4th before we know it! With all the hoopla and celebrations going on this week, it appears that we will most likely just be staying close to home with no major activities. Our extended family has other things going on and can't travel up here. My sister Doris is having cataract surgery this week! Her first one...and then will have the other one done in a few weeks, so traveling is not really in her best interest right now. (Praying for her now, because I think it's actually happening today!) And our DIL Rose actually has to work on Saturday the 4th (Home Depot!), so we can't plan anything without her! So I think we will just enjoy a quiet 4th of July here at home and probably go watch the fireworks from a good vantage point that evening. We'll save all the traditional home-made ice-cream making fun for some other time when we can all be together to enjoy it.  We could go participate in our town celebration throughout the day, but it will most likely be too hot and too crowded for us old folks, so we will stay home and keep cool.

Today we are under a heat advisory, and it's already been too hot to stay outside for more than a few minutes anyway, and it doesn't look any cooler throughout the week, so I will take the "advice" and stay indoors where it is cool. (Praise God for air conditioning!)

It was extremely hot and very dry yesterday afternoon, so I went outside and watered my poor plants, and then later the skies looked like this:

And lo! and Behold! We actually got a nice thunderstorm that lasted for about 20 minutes, which was a surprise! Maybe going outside and watering things was the thing to do! The "heavens" looked down and had pity on me and decided to give us some reprieve!  Thank You, Lord! We'll take whatever rain we can get!!

It's been "good weather" for staying inside and reading and watching TV.  I've been "binge reading" these Rhys Bowen novels, which could be considered  kind of historical fiction mysteries. They are what I consider relaxation reading, and although they are not what I would consider to be of much "spiritual value", thankfully "the good" in the heroine wins out over the "evil" in those around her, so there's that redeeming value. This author has a LOT of books to choose from at our public library, and several different series as well as some good stand alone novels. 

The other thing I enjoyed was watching this little mini-series "Seeking Persephone". The only thing was that due to the intense British accents, I needed to use "close-captioning" to understand what they were saying. LOL.  It was a good story, and even my hubby watched it with me, which is unusual. Normally he considers these "chick flicks" and has no interest in watching. LOL.

I am sorry I haven't been around much in blogland lately. It was another busy weekend, with the memorial service for our dear friend Opal on Saturday morning. There was a packed church, with family and friends attending from all over the country, literally. One of the highlights of the service was a video of Opal and a couple of our other choir members singing with her, "He Could Have Called Ten Thousand Angels". That was one of Opal's traditional songs to sing at Easter, and the other one was "O  Holy Night" at Christmas.  The video was done last year at Easter, when she had come back to church after recovering from a stroke, and she was still able to sing. I remember then that there was not a dry eye in the church, and yesterday, watching that recording, was another tear jerking moment.  My "infected tear ducts" have certainly had a workout these past few weeks. Thankfully they are getting better with the help of the 10 days worth of strong antibiotics.  

Have you ever noticed this verse in the Bible before?

Internet photo

I have seen it before, but thought it was mostly a symbolic kind of thing, not an actual "bottle".  But in our new Ladies' Bible Study that we will be resuming in September, "Jesus and Women in the First Century and Now", by Kristi McLelland, we learned that the tear bottle is an actual item that "in the ancient Near East, Jewish women collected their tears in a tear jar and poured them out to God in worship as a sign of faith, embodying God's message in Psalm 56:8 where He says He keeps our tears in a bottle." (Jesus and Women, page 6, Kristi McLelland, Lifeway Publishing)

Can you imagine literally putting all of your tears into a bottle, and that God is aware of every tear that falls? I've tried to figure out just how one could physically put their tears in a bottle in the first place...there have been times in my life when my bottle would be overflowing and have to be emptied frequently and refilled...or would I have several bottles to use instead of just one? Seriously, I'm not sure how they physically did this, but apparently they did...and God saw that and still today, He sees our sorrows and griefs, and He knows the depths of our pain...and He comforts us with His great love and compassion...and restores us and gives us the courage to keep moving forward beyond the grief and sorrow.  

The Psalmist says  "You collected all my tears in your bottle", and "You have recorded each one in Your book."  Oh my, what a book that must be! But then He wipes away our tears and gives us fresh hope and renewed strength, and a brand new day to begin again.  

Earlier in that same Psalm King David says:

"3 Whenever I am afraid,
I will trust in You.
4 In God (I will praise His word),
In God I have put my trust;
I will not fear.
What can flesh do to me?"

And later in the book of Revelation...the very last book of the Bible, it says:

Revelation 21:4 NKJV

"4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”

I don't know about you, but I look forward to that day...

Well, on a lighter note, I know you all look forward to some pictures of "King" Blackie...so here's some of the latest...

Blackie has gotten rather attached to our computers lately, I guess because he figures if he can get in the way of our doing our work on our computers, he will get more attention...so here he is snuggling up to my hubby's laptop...this was taken right before he pushed it off the little table and right into hubby's lap (thankfully...and not on the floor!)

And here he is laying on my desk, guarding my mouse and keyboard...I don't dare try to touch them or he will grab at my hand with his sharp little claws. He thinks it's a game...

He's daring me to even TRY to touch that mouse or keyboard! LOL.

Yes, "King Blackie" has certainly taken over our household and captured our hearts.  He's a rascal and a scamp, but he's managed to even get my hubby to feed him and cater to his desires.  It's still amazing to me how far this neighborhood stray cat has come in the past year! Perhaps God knew we would need a happy diversion from all the sorrows and sadness in the world today.  Yes, if God is keeping a record of our tears and writing them down in a book, then He certainly can send us some little joys along the way as well...and perhaps He's writing that down in "our book" as well.  I hope that someday we will see that our joys far outweighed our tears and we will say with King David in Psalms 30:11-12:

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O Lordmy God, I will give thanks to You forever."

Amen.

I hope you have a joy-filled rest of your week, and that all your sorrows will be turned to joy.  Amen.

Some Mother's Day Thoughts and Some Huge Answers to Prayer

Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  I have a lot of different kinds of thoughts going around in my mind.  Mostly good. Some a little sad...some quite glad...and most very, very thankful.

I've already written a lot (or shared some re-runs) of posts about my own mother for Mother's Day.  I've  mentioned my mother-in-law quite often as well.  If you click on any of the links above that are highlighted, you can re-read some of those posts/thoughts from times past.

Tonight I think I will just list some of the wonderful ways God has blessed this Mother's Day...for me, and for others.

Today we surprised my sweet mother in law with the whole family showing up at the nursing home to wish her a Happy Mother's Day! She was totally surprised and thrilled.

Here we are all together:

This is "Nanny" with her grand-children who were present...

And here she is with her two sons:

And also with some good friends who came along to help us celebrate with her...

As you can see, she was a happy Mama!  We had such a good time...and I know she hated to see us go, but yet she is so content there that she wouldn't want to go with us for anything!
This is a huge answer to many prayers, and we are very grateful to the Lord.

This was just as much a Mother's Day gift for me as it was for her. It was wonderful to have our family together and to enjoy this time of joy and laughter. After our visit in the nursing home, the family enjoyed a great lunch together at a local fun restaurant...and we had such a good time no one wanted to leave there either!  Plus, the good news was...it was finally raining outside! Such another huge answer to many prayers!! So it was great to sit inside the restaurant and visit and not rush outside. The waitstaff didn't even seem to mind that all 12 of us were taking up so much space for so long!

I have another special reason to be joyful...but nothing is official and I can't tell anyone yet.  I'll have to wait for permission from others before I can spill the beans.  But it's exciting to this mother's heart, and another HUGE answer to many long years of prayer...so stay tuned.

These lovely flowers are from one of my sweet sons and a friend...









Another happy, but kind of bittersweet thing happened for my mother's day celebration.  I went to the "Memorial Garden" this morning...the place we have set aside as a memorial to our son Matthew, who went to be with the Lord three years ago...and I was so thrilled to see these special flowers blooming there for me for Mother's Day...I believe a special bouquet from Matthew:

This beautiful Rose of Sharon flower is the first bloom of the year!  This bush was planted in memory of Matthew, selected especially by his wife when she was here for his memorial service.  I hope she will see this post and know that it was blooming for us for Mother's Day.  (She lives in Maine, so isn't here very often...but I will be sure to share this with her)

  This is another picture of the same blossom, but it was just so pretty with the early morning soft raindrops on it...another blessing of the day...and there is another bud waiting to open maybe tomorrow?  On the real day for Mother's Day?  We'll have to check and see in the morning...

And these Easter Lilies have become "Mother's Day Lilies"....blooming about a month too late for Easter, but perfect timing for Mother's Day here in the Memorial Garden.  Another special blessing.

I was so thrilled to see them finally blooming after waiting all month since Easter wondering when they would ever appear!  God's perfect timing!  And there are several more waiting to open...maybe tomorrow as well!!!

While I was sitting there in the Memorial Garden (this evening), this little Hummingbird flew up to the feeder for a drink, and I happened to see her just in time to get a picture...

I was also enjoying the chiming of the beautiful copper windchimes that were created especially for Matthew's Memorial Garden by a dear friend of ours...The Dove of peace is at the top, followed by a moose, a fish, and at the bottom a sunburst, (but I don't think you can see that in this picture)  These are all things that remind us of Matthew...he was an avid outdoorsman from Maine.

Just another side view of the garden...getting very full of shade and more beautiful every day...especially now that we've had a little rain!

I read this Psalm this morning in our devotions:

Psalm 98

1.  "Oh, sing to the Lord a new song!

For He has done marvelous things;

His right hand and His holy arm have gained Him the victory.

2.  The Lord has made known His salvation;

His righteousness He has revealed in the sight of the nations.

3.  He has remembered His mercy 

and His faithfulness to the house of Israel;

All the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God.

4.  Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth;

Break forth in song, rejoice,

and sing praises.

5.  Sing to the Lord with the harp,

with the harp and the sound of a psalm,

6.  With trumpets and the sound of a horn;

Shout joyfully before the Lord, the King.

7.  Let the sea roar, and all its fullness,

The world and those who dwell in it;

8.  Let the rivers clap their hands;

Let the hills be joyful together before the Lord,

9.  For He is coming to judge the earth.

With righteousness He shall judge the world,

and the peoples with equity."

I would like to repeat the first part of the first verse...

"Oh, sing to the Lord a new song!

For He has done marvelous things!"

Yes, He has done marvelous things, and this mother is very glad.  Yes, He has given us some "huge answers" to prayer in so many ways...and has caused us to rejoice in the marvelous things He has done.  Oh, yes, there have been some very sad times and heartbreaks...but our God is a loving and merciful God...and

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,

To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.

O Lord my God,

I will give thanks to You forever."

Psalm 30:11-12

Amen.

I pray that each and every one of you sweet mothers reading this will be blessed on Mother's Day and beyond...and that you will be able to say of the Lord:

"Oh, sing to the Lord a new song!

For He has done marvelous things!"

Happy Mother's Day!

The Secret Garden Chronicles-Day 6-He Hideth My Soul

Today it was a little rainy, cold and dreary, so it wasn't a good day to sit in the Secret Garden...

Looking out the window toward the Secret Garden

But  God had already prepared another place for me to sit under the cover of our back porch, and still be in a quiet, peaceful place, sheltered by His loving hands.

This is also a very special place , set apart as a memorial garden in loving memory of our precious son Matthew, who was called away to heaven much too soon for us, but right on time in God's perfect plan for his life.

And so I ventured out, and entered the garden and prepared my heart for worship.  The first thing I noticed before sitting down was how the birds were being sheltered within the trees and the birdfeeder, as they waited out the drizzly rain.

And immediately my heart started to sing and praise the Lord , yes, I actually sang silently so as not to disturb the birds, but my heart was singing out loud, and I know God heard me...

"A wonderful Savior is Jesus, my Lord,

A wonderful Savior to me..

He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock

where rivers of pleasure I see.

Chorus:

He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock

that shadows a dry thirsty land,

He hideth my life in the depths of His love,

and covers me there with His hand...

And covers me there with His hand.

A wonderful Savior is Jesus, my Lord;

He taketh my burden away..

He holdeth me up, and I shall not be moved;

He giveth me strength as my day...

(chorus)

With numberless blessings 

each moment He crowns,

and, filled with His fullness divine,

I sing in my rapture,

Oh! Glory to God!

For such a Redeemer as mine!

(chorus)

When clothed in His brightness,

transported I rise

to meet Him in clouds of the sky;

His perfect salvation,

His wonderful love,

I'll SHOUT with the millions on high!!

(Chorus)

(He Hideth My Soul, by Fanny Crosby)

Then God directed me to Isaiah 51:15-16:

"But I Am the Lord your God,

Who divided the sea whose waves roared--

The Lord of hosts is His name.

And I have put MY words in your mouth,

I have covered you with the shadow of MY hand..."

And I responded with Psalm 32:7-8:

"You are my hiding place;

You shall preserve me from trouble;

You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.

I (God) will instruct you and teach you

in the way you should go;

I will guide you with my eye."

Then God brought me to Psalm 31 as follows:

14> "But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord;

I say, 'You are my God,

15>  My times are in Your hand...'"

19> "Oh how great is Your goodness,

which You have laid up for those who fear You...

which You have prepared for those who trust in You

in the presence of the sons of men!

20>  You (GOD) shall hide them in the 

"secret place" of Your Presence 

from the plots of man;

You shall keep them "secretly"

in a pavilion from the strife of tongues."

I couldn't help but notice how God was showing me how He is covering me (us) with His loving hands...and hiding us in the "secret place"...away from the plots of men and those who would seek to harm us.  In this current day and age, many of us have concerns about the "plots of men and those who would seek to harm us"...terrorists and other enemies of our nation, as well as the enemies of our faith.  But God is sheltering, protecting, and keeping us safe in the secret place of His love. We need not fear what man may do to us.

My heart broke out in song again:  singing the praise chorus that says...

"How Great is our God... (click HERE for video "world" version with Chris Tomlin)

"How Great Is Our God"

The splendor of a king
Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice
All the earth rejoice

He wraps Himself in light,
And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at His voice
Trembles at His voice

How great is our God
Sing with me
How great is our God
And all will see
How great, how great is our God

Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end
Beginning and the end

The Godhead Three in One
Father, Spirit and Son
The Lion and the Lamb
The Lion and the Lamb

How great is our God
Sing with me
How great is our God
And all will see
How great, how great is our God

Name above all names
Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing
How great is our God

Name above all names
You are worthy of all praise
And my heart will sing
How great is our God

[3x]
How great is our God
Sing with me
How great is our God
And all will see
How great, how great is our God

And then I sang the more familiar chorus to "How Great Thou Art"

"Then sings my soul,

my Savior God, to Thee;

How great Thou art,

How great Thou art...

Then I looked across the page in my Bible Psalm 30, and I see some of the verses that I've underlined as they've become precious to me since the passing of our son almost three years ago...

Psalm 30:4-5

"Sing praise to the Lord,

you saints of His,

and give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name...

For His anger is but for a moment,

His favor is for LIFE;

Weeping may endure for a night,

but JOY comes in the morning!"

Verse 11:

"You have turned for my my mourning into dancing;

You have put off my sackcloth

and clothed me with gladness,

 12:

To the end that my glory may sing praise to You

and not be silent...

O Lord my God,

I will give thanks to YOU forever..."

"Then sings my soul,

My Savior God, to Thee...

How great Thou art,

How Great Thou art!"

No, I'm not so calloused that I no longer mourn or grieve the loss of our son, 

But...I KNOW where he is!!  He's with God Our Father, Jesus the Son, Our Savior, and the Holy Spirit...All there together...in heaven for eternity!  And we will see him again one day,

so how can I be sad?  He's safe at home, eternally!  Praise God for that peace and assurance!  

"Blessed Assurance, Jesus is mine!

Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine!

Heir of salvation,

purchase of God,

born of His Spirit,

washed in His blood.

This is my story,

this is my song,

Praising my Savior

all the day long.

This is my story,

this is my song;

Praising my Savior all the day long!!"

Amen

(Blessed Assurance, by Fanny Crosby)

Note: I sure look forward to meeting 

Fanny Crosby someday in heaven!

What a blessing she has been to me and 

countless millions of people who have sung 

the hymns she wrote out of her heart and love for

Jesus Christ our Savior!

I pray that your Sunday worship is a time of great joy, knowing that the Lord hides our soul in the cleft of the rock...and that He is keeping us safe within the shelter of His loving hands.  

"How Great is OUR God!!!"  

Amen!!

Moments of Grace: Reflections of Praise

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,

To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever."

Psalm 30:11-12

This past week was our son's birthday. Our son who is in heaven, that is. He left this earth almost two years ago, at the age of 41.  This year would have been his 43rd birthday. I don't write this to make you feel sad or to feel sorry for me. Perhaps I am writing this for myself...as a way of dealing with the grief.  Even though we still miss our son and will always long to see his face again and hear his voice and laughter...I can honestly say that God has given me a true sense of peace and gladness.  You see, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will see my son again someday. There is no doubt in my mind that he had accepted God's free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ our Lord, (see Ephesians 2:8-9) and that when he left his earthly home he went immediately into the Presence of God Almighty. Therefore, I have joy in my heart...and I can sing praise to God and not be silent.

For his birthday, to honor the memory of our son, we planted two trees in our yard.

Our sons planted two apple trees in the front yard.
Hopefully they will grow and prosper and bear much fruit!

 Something alive and growing and beautiful to remind us of his beautiful life...and to remind us also that he is still alive. He's just a breath away in heaven.














We actually started this "tradition" the very week of his memorial service, by building an arbor and establishing a small memorial garden in our backyard.  This has become a special place to sit and pray, watch the birds, enjoy a time of communion with the Lord and His beautiful creation.

My sister donated this beautiful wind-spinner
in memory of our son.

 On the first anniversary of his passing, we planted a tree in the front yard.  That idea has now spread to other parts of the yard, so that everywhere I look outside I am reminded of the life of my son.



















You may think this is a bit morbid or even eccentric. Well, perhaps if these "memorials" caused us to become sorrowful or even a bit depressed or angry, that could possibly be construed as carrying grief too far.  But what I have discovered is by having these living reminders of our son, it has "turned for me my mourning into dancing"...and has helped to "put off my sackcloth and has clothed me with gladness."

I could not do this if I did not have total faith in God and His provision for salvation through His Son Jesus Christ.  Without that hope and promise there would be no reason to rejoice or dance again. But because Christ lives, I know that not only my son, but I, too, shall live!

I can sing along with Job (Job 19:25-27)

"For I know that my Redeemer lives,

and He shall stand at last on the earth;

And after my skin is destroyed, this I know,

That in my flesh I shall see God,

Whom I shall see for myself,

and my eyes shall behold, 

and not another.

How my heart yearns within me!"

And as the Psalmist said above:

To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever."

"Weeping may endure for a night,

but joy comes in the morning."

Psalm 30:5b

My Bag Was Too Heavy to Fly

This morning we rushed through an hour of traveling in a sleet storm to get to the airport on time to catch our flight home from Maine to Florida.  For those of you who may not know, we were in Maine visiting our son who is in the final stages of cancer.  We really didn't want to leave him, but after much prayer and discussion we decided to head home to take care of some loose ends there and then plan to head back to be with him again soon.

Anyway, the first thing we had to do when we arrived at the airport was check in with our baggage and get our boarding passes.  When I put the suitcase that we were planning to check up on the scale, it was about one pound over the limit of 40 pounds.  The attendant said I would need to remove at least a pound from the bag before they could check it onto the plane.  So I opened it up and tried to determine what I could remove that would weigh about a pound that I could carry with me in my carry-on bag.

My first thought was that perhaps I should remove the package of frozen blueberries that my daughter-in-law had given me from their own blueberry bushes, but I wasn't sure if they would allow me to take them with me as a carry-on.  While my husband took the package of blueberries to ask the TSA officer for permission, my eyes were directed to my Bible in the suitcase and I took it out and placed it on the scale.  It was exactly the weight that needed to be removed from the bag to make it the legal limit.  When my husband came back I told him we'd just put the blueberries back in and I would carry my Bible with me instead.

Our flight was delayed for a little while, so we had time to sit and catch our breath before we had to board the plane.  While we were waiting, I decided to open my Bible that was now in my carry-on bag instead of on the plane and read the devotional readings for today.  The reading for today was entitled "Acknowledging the Miracle", and the selected scripture readings were from John 4:43-54 and Psalm 30.

As I started to read the scriptures I was overwhelmed with the message of hope and comfort that God had waiting for me there. Let me see if you can understand what I mean.

"So Jesus came again to Cana of Galilee where He had made the water wine.  

And there was a certain nobleman whose son was sick at Capernaum.

When he heard that Jesus had come out of Judea into Galilee, 

he went to Him and implored Him to come down and heal his son,

for he was at the point of death.

Then Jesus said to him, "Unless you people see signs and wonders,

you will by no means believe."

The nobleman said to Him, "Sir, come down before my child dies!"

Jesus said to him, "Go your way; your son lives."

So the man believed the word that Jesus spoke to him,

and he went his way."

(John 4:46-50)

I cannot begin to tell you what comfort and peace these words brought to me today as we prepared to head home not knowing for certain if our son would live until we could come back to be with him again.  I had tossed and turned and cried in my sleep for several days over the decision to stay or return home. Once we finally made the decision to go ahead and return home, God provided me with this wonderful assurance that our son would live, and that I could travel in peace.  

Now, I must confess to you that I do not know if this means that he is truly healed from this disease, or if this is merely God's way of bringing comfort and peace to us so that we can take care of our personal matters at home and trust that our son will still be alive and waiting for us when we are able to return. Of course, I would love to believe that he is completely healed and that he will not suffer from this devastating illness any longer and that he will be able to grow old with his wife and watch his fourteen year old son grow up to be a man and someday have grandchildren of his own to dandle on his knee. 

I find myself identifying with another parent in the book of Mark 9:23-24, when Jesus asks this father of a young son who had an unclean spirit, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes." And the Bible says in verse 24 'Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, 

"Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!"

Lord, I do believe.  I know You are able to do "exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think..." (Ephesians 3:20)

Whether You have chosen to heal our son completely to live a full and healthy life here on earth, or whether You have chosen to give him more time so that we can have the assurance we needed to make this trip home for now, I give You praise.  I will praise You along with the Psalmist in Psalm 30, (the other reading selected especially for today)...

"Oh Lord my God, I cried out to You,

and You healed me."

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,

To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever."

Psalm 30: 2, 11-12

Either way, I give thanks to You today, dear Lord.

Amen.

Oh, and Lord, Thank You that my bag was too heavy to fly today.

I got Your message just in time.

Oh, and by the way,  the blueberries made it just fine! I can't wait to make some blueberry muffins or pancakes with them!

Conversations With God

Today has been a day that I hoped would never come. This morning our son, who has been battling cancer for four years, received the news from his doctor that we prayed he would never have to hear.  After several days in the hospital, and four years of fighting with every treatment plan available for this particular rare disease, (DSRCT) the oncologist told my son that they have done everything possible for him.  There is no other reasonable treatment option left that they could recommend.  And with that being said, he told him that under the present circumstances he could only expect to live another three or four months at the most.

So I've been having some "conversations with God" today.  Not just prayers, although there have been plenty of them going up.  No, these are conversations, only perhaps more like monologues, since I haven't heard God's response audibly.  That doesn't mean He isn't listening or responding.  I know He is doing both. His response is in subtle ways within my heart and soul. I know He hears me, and I know He cares.  But I'm still asking the questions and telling God what's on my heart.

I've been reminding God all day about all the ways He has already rescued our son from serious illnesses and accidents. Click Here for those stories.

I've even had the audacity to ask Him just what does He expect to accomplish by allowing our son to die at the age of 41, when he has a wife and a 14 year old son to raise?

 I want to know how God will be glorified through the death of our son.  With all due respect to God, I am the mother of this wonderful son, and I think I deserve an answer.

Even David the King had feelings like this:

I cried out to You, O Lord;

and to the Lord I made supplication:

"What profit is there in my blood,

When I go down to the pit?

Will the dust praise You?

Will it declare Your truth?

Hear, O Lord, and have mercy on me;

Lord, be my helper!"

(Psalm 30:8-10)

I'm not complaining or demanding...just asking.  I'm not angry with God...but I want to understand His plan. I feel a little bit like Mary, the mother of Jesus...pondering all these things in my heart. (Luke 2:19)  Not that I am comparing my son to Jesus, but I'm comparing myself to Mary, a mother, who loved her Son, and didn't fully comprehend all the things that happened to Him.

Click here for previous post from last fall on this topic

Is it wrong to question God? I don't believe so.  I think He understands.  I KNOW He understands.

"The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous,

And His ears are open to their cry."

Psalm 34:15

"The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears,

and delivers them out of all their troubles.

The Lord is near to those who

have a broken heart,

and saves such as have a 

contrite spirit."

Psalm 34:17-18

"Sing praise to the Lord,

you saints of His,

and give thanks at the

remembrance of His holy name.

For His anger is but for a moment,

His favor is for life;

Weeping may endure for a night,

But Joy comes in the morning."

Psalm 30:4-5

I know we have some difficult days ahead of us.  There will be weeping...but I also know that the day will come when we will have joy again.

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,

To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.

O Lord my God,

I will give thanks to You forever."

Psalm 30:11-12

"But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord;

I say, "You are my God."

My times are in Your hand..."

Psalm 31:14-15a

"Be of good courage,

and He shall strengthen your heart,

All you who hope in the Lord."

Psalm 31:24

"Hear my cry, O God;

Attend to my prayer.

From the end of the earth I will cry to You,

When my heart is overwhelmed;

Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."

Psalm 61:1-2

Amen.

The conversations are not over, I am certain.  But I have comfort and peace within my heart tonight. 

"God has spoken once,

Twice I have heard this;

That power belongs to God.

Also to You, O Lord, belongs mercy..."

Psalm 62:11-12