What Do You See Outside YOUR Open Window Today?

What Do You See Outside YOUR Open Window Today?
Remember: "When God closes a door, He always opens a window!" You never know what might be out there waiting for you!

Sunday, May 25, 2014

How Could I NOT Want This Day to Come?

Sunday, May 25th, 2014.  The Day I hoped would never come...but wait! I take that back!  Just shortly after midnight our wonderful son Matthew Everette Steiner passed from this life into eternity after a lengthy battle with a rare and aggressive cancer.  He was exactly 41 years and 3 months old today. For the past four years he has fought valiantly against this horrific foe...and today...well, today he is no longer fighting.  The battle is over. It is finished.  How could I NOT want this day to come?

Today begins an exciting new chapter in the life of Matthew Everette Steiner.  I repeat his full name...as it is a name that is ringing throughout the halls of heaven today!  As soon as Matthew took his last breath here on earth, he gulped a breath of celestial air for the first time...and began his adventure in paradise.  When he crossed over the threshold of those pearly gates, I believe there was a shout and there were victory dancers surrounding him as he was escorted through the streets of gold by the holy angels themselves.  The saints of old were lining the streets, cheering and waving, calling out his name and welcoming him HOME.  Yes, HOME...home at last.  He was greeted and hugged by his grandparents and friends and ancestors who have gone on before...and then, best of all, he was presented to the One Who Died for him...his Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ Himself.

Oh, how I would have loved to have been a little birdie on the wall watching this amazing event!  I would so love to have had just a glimpse of the joy on my precious son's face as he met Jesus face to face. To see him running and leaping through those jewel lined streets...strong and healthy and completely well!  No more sickness, no more fear, no more dying... Set free and totally healed...never to suffer ever again.

Yes, I am sad. I will miss this laughing, happy, fun loving child of mine.  I already miss hearing his voice. I am overcome with tears as waves of memories assail me frequently without warning. I am grieving for this great loss to our family and to his own sweet wife and son. There are no words that can describe what I am feeling adequately...but these word pictures do help me visualize the joy that he is experiencing...and I need to remember that.  My son is whole again...no more dying there...he is worshiping the King of Kings...and singing praises with the angels in glory. Again I ask, "How could I NOT want this day to come?"
Matthew Everette Steiner...before the cancer struck him
Healthy and whole...the way I expect he is today in heaven

16 comments:

  1. Powerful words from one who truly lives the words she speaks. My heart is with you in the coming days dear Pam. Susie

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    1. Thank you Susie. I know there will be difficult days ahead for me and for our family. We are high on the adrenaline of knowing that Matthew is whole and healed today. But I know we will miss him OH so much forever. Dear Lord, Please help me remember this picture of him today on those dark days ahead. Amen.

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    1. Thank you. I know there will be days that I will forget this picture and this beauty because I am human, and I am a mother. But this was written today to help me remember in the future when I forget. Thank you for visiting and understanding.

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  3. Oh, Pam- you are so brave and beautiful. Thank you for being who you are in Him...and who you are is precious- it shows in your son's eyes and smile. May God continue to be be your joy and comfort in the days ahead. Love you.

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    1. Thank you Dawn. Not brave or beautiful really. Just learning to fully trust that God knows what is best in all things, even when it hurts. Without the hope of heaven, nothing would make much sense. Praise God for Jesus, our Savior, Sanctifier, Healer and Coming King. He calls the great ones home early because He has special work for them to do. I just wish I could see what Matthew is seeing right now. I know he is super excited.
      That keeps me going.

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  4. Truly, "we do not grieve as do the rest who have no hope" (1 Thess. 4:13). But we do grieve. May He hold you and the entire family close through these days. I loved the beautiful and true picture you painted of Matthew's homecoming. And at the right time, you will see him again!

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    1. Yes, we do grieve...and will continue to do so. We will honor Matthew's memory in some way every day of our lives...but we would not wish him back. He has finally reached the goal of every Christian...to be home in heaven...with Jesus! There could be nothing grander or more marvelous than this! It just makes me more anxious to get there myself someday, in God's time. Until then, we'll keep telling others about this wonderful hope we have in Jesus. Such a privilege and honor.

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  5. Yes, beautiful, Pam. I haven't gone where you are or where you are going, but I know He will walk with you. You know it too. As the tears roll down your face, lean into that grief, glad for your Matthew, but sad for his absence...as you learn to live in the presence of his absence here. I love you and continue to pray for you and your family.

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    1. Yes, tears are a language that God understands...He created it for our benefit. Grieving is not a bad thing...and I expect I will learn all about it as I live through it day by day. But it helps so much knowing that my son is not suffering anymore...and that we WILL see him again someday. With that hope in our hearts, our grief cannot overwhelm us completely. It can only soften and smooth out our rough edges so that we become more pliable and useful in God's work here on earth. That is my prayer.

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  6. I cannot imagine how you must feel but admire your strength and Godly thoughts. May He sustain you througb the days, weeks, months and years that follow. Bless you. Amanda

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    1. Thank you Amanda. My strength comes only from the Lord...and yes, I know He WILL sustain us in the days ahead. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us...so I know He is present in my grief as well as my joy. That does help. Sometimes we just have to keep reminding ourselves and not forget His promises on those days when we don't feel His presence. He never lets go.

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  7. Pam, you have a strong and believing Soul! As one who had lost a son at 20, I can tell you you will grieve. Moreover, you carried Matthew inside of you for 9 months, you had more than a parental attachment. All I can tell you is to Look UP! Believe that he is good now and awaits our arrival at some point! Tears will come at different times. I have them even today about my Wes, 17 years later. I am so touched by your story and your strength. God Bless you and your family! Charlie Howe

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    1. Oh thank you Charlie. Your message has really touched my heart. I know you have had your share of heartbreaks, and I pray God's comfort for you...even after 17 years. Thank you for your kind words.

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  8. Dear Father God:
    Please continue to wrap Your loving arms around Matt's family. Keep them close to you. When they begin to mourn, whisper words of comfort, strength, and courage into their ears. Be especially close to Pam as she goes through her time of grief. Help Matt's father as he goes through this bittersweet time. Please be there for Matt's wife. Please guide Matt's son through the tough times he will have as he grows into the man You want him to be. We will give You the praise. I ask these things out of Your grace for the Steiner family. In the name of Jesus, I pray. AMEN

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    1. Oh how I love this prayer. It has really spoken to my heart tonight. Thank you for being sensitive to the Holy Spirit and our needs. Blessings upon you my dear friend. Thank you.

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