My Response to a Weary Mother

One of my precious blogging friends wrote a poignant message the other day regarding her struggles with her teen-aged daughter, whom she has just recently begun to home-school.  You can read more about this on "Beneath the Surface: Breath of Faith: blog:"Look to The East-Message for Weary Mothers".  

After reading this heart rending message, my spirit was moved with compassion and I found myself remembering the years of raising our three sons...a.k.a. "The Preacher's Kids"...which should explain everything (almost).  This is what I wrote to my friend in the comment section of her post:

"Someday I will find the courage to write the true stories of our lives...the real behind the scenes nitty gritty details of what really happened...not what was portrayed in the perfect family portraits. I have three sons. They are all uniquely and wonderfully made...but NONE of them were or are perfect by any stretch of the imagination. We fought, we cried, we pleaded with them and with God, we could not believe or understand the whys and wherefores of their imperfections and struggles. But GOD, in His neverending love and mercy, reached down and gave compassion, strength, and comfort in the dark days....and lifted our feet up out of the miry clay and helped us to stand firm on the ROCK, in spite of the angry waves surrounding our souls. HOLD ON TIGHT dear weary mother! God is still on His throne, and He has not forgotten you or your child. He's still working on her and your behalf. There WILL be better and brighter days ahead. Just keep looking UP! NO ONE, NOR ANY FAMILY is perfect, regardless of how they may appear. Love ya girlfriend. You are not alone in your struggles."

 Our sons are all adults now.  Somehow we did survive their teen years and lived to tell about it. I wish I could say that all their struggles (and ours) ceased when they reached the magical age of adulthood. But again, that would not be truthful. Oftentimes the aftermath of childhood and youthful traumas, wrong decisions, health issues, carry over into the years when they should be able to move forward into the "promised land" of maturity, successful careers, marriages, and a life of peace and joy.

We, as their parents, are still limited in what we can do for them. Sure, we can provide advice based on years of experience, but it often is not welcomed nor heeded.  We can try to make life a little easier for them by helping to carry some of their burdens, whether it be due to the bad economy, unemployment, unexpected illness, or even yet, the result of their own bad decisions.  But we can't fix everything. We cannot create perfection in our families now any more than we could when they were our little children safe at home in our nest.

What we CAN do is lift our sons/daughters up to the Throne of Grace...the Father, Creator, Sustainer, the ONE and ONLY ONE WHO is able to keep them from falling.
We, as concerned parents, can continue to ~

"Trust in the Lord, and do good;

Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.

Delight yourself also in the Lord,

and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him,

and He shall bring it to pass."

(Psalm 37:3-5)

And we  can also claim this promise from this favorite Proverb 22:6 ~ 

"Train up a child in the way he should go,

and when he is OLD 

He will not depart from it."

I know there are many parents out there who are still waiting for the fulfillment of this promise in their adult children's lives. We know we planted the seeds early on in their childhood...we nurtured them and tried to do what we deemed best for them in every way possible.  We gave them appropriate discipline, taught them the truth from God's Word, went with them to church, dedicated them to the Lord as infants and rejoiced with them when they took the steps of faith in their own salvation and baptism and commitment to Christ.  And yet, somewhere along the way they took a left turn or a detour that led them down the wrong path and caused them to wander in the wilderness of life. We stood by helplessly watching, aghast at the choices they were making, the decisions that drove them further away from the security of home and family, and wondered where we failed them. 

Where did we go wrong? Nine times out of ten we didn't do anything "wrong".  Yes, I know there are parents who made wrong choices and decisions themselves that may have led to their children's confusion and struggles. We may be (and probably are) one of them.  But even so, God's promises are still true. And it is never too late to pray for our children...to recommit them to Christ...even if they refuse to listen or hear of it.  It is never too late for us to do as the Psalmist in Psalm 40:1-3 ~

"I waited patiently for the Lord;

And He inclined to me,

and heard my cry.

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,

Out of the miry clay,

and set my feet upon a rock,

and established my steps.

He has put a new song in my mouth~

Praise to our God;

Many will see it and fear,

and will trust in the Lord."

So, dear weary mother, father, loved one or friend, take heart today. God is still at work in your children's lives, no matter how far they may have strayed...no matter how far YOU may have strayed...God is still God. He is still on the throne. He never gives up on us.  So HOLD ON...Keep looking up! God is not finished with ANY of us yet!!!!

Here is a new song that is applicable to us parents AND to our kids...great message for today...listen and believe it.
"You Can Change Who You Are" by Unspoken

My Gifts for Today: A Double Rainbow /and 3 Gifts in Conversation

"I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth...." Genesis 9:13

"The rainbow shall be in the cloud, and I will look on it to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth."  Genesis 9:16

This is the double rainbow we chased all the way to work today:

For those of you who have been following along on my quest to "Count 1000 Gifts" in 2012 (see www.AnnVoskamp.com for details)...you know that I only started this quest in September, and it is unlikely that I will reach 1000 gifts in 2012 at the rate of 3 gifts per day.  Plus the fact that I skipped a couple of days recently just because I got bogged down and couldn't think, let alone write!  But today God made up for my slack and lack of "counting".  He did something really special for me...and not for me alone.  Let me tell you.

Recently my son has been riding to work with me each day...literally riding with me to work...at the same place where I work.  This in itself is a small miracle (maybe even a big miracle), the fact that he has been working where I work, because I work at a church. Not that he is opposed to working in a church...he practically literally grew up in church since his father starting pastoring at his first church when our son was just 6 months old.  So church is not something new or unfamiliar.  But in recent years, it hasn't been a place high on his list to visit, let alone work in.  And the fact that he has been pretty much unemployed over the past year except for odd jobs here and there, makes it even more amazing that he was able to start working at this church. No, he isn't a pastor or in any ministry.  He is helping to renovate the Fellowship Hall...painting, cleaning, restoring equipment...anything they ask him to do that he is able to do. Wait...this IS a ministry...an important one...and I am seeing him blossom each day as he is gaining new confidence with every task completed....and completed well. 

What does this have to do with the rainbows that we chased to work today? And what about the "Three Gifts of Conversation" that I am supposed to write about today?  Well, maybe I can't put this into three distinct conversations...but I can tell you that God has been doing something special in these rides to work and giving us opportunities to have some great conversations.  Oh, a lot of it has been pretty silly and fun...especially as we chased this double rainbow down the road this morning, taking pictures as we traveled  towards it. (I drove, he took pictures). 



And a lot of our conversations have been about the work he is doing, and the pride that he is taking in what he is doing.  And the positive things I see coming out of this...little ways that he is changing and growing.  God is at work here. There is no doubt about it.

Have our conversations been particularly spiritual? No. Not really. And yet, yes, really. Today's rainbow was a symbol of the promise of God in his life being fulfilled...hope being restored. Hope being restored in me as well. Prayers being answered. One day at a time.  One rainbow at a time.  Every day has been a gift.

This particular job is not a permanent position. It will likely be ending in a couple of weeks when the renovation is complete.  But there will be something permanently changed. I can feel it. I can see it.  God is at work.  He sent His rainbow to confirm it.

 The future looks brighter in more ways than one.  It was definitely a double rainbow kind of day!

Thank you, Lord!!

Promises Fulfilled

Genesis 9:13-16  "I set My rainbow in the cloud, and it shall be for the sign of the covenant between Me and the earth.  It shall be, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the rainbow shall be seen in the cloud; and I will remember My covenant which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh.  The rainbow shall be in the cloud, and I will look on it to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth."

These pictures were taken at our new house this morning around 7 a.m., just as I was getting ready for work. If you recall, I started out the New Year with a one word "resolution" for the year...and that word was "HOPE".    At that time I had allowed myself to "hope" that God would help us work out of a difficult situation and get to a place that would enable us to finally settle down and prepare for our eventual "retirement".  Due to circumstances beyond our control, my husband was prematurely "retired" last year when his position was cut unexpectedly.  When that door closed, we were not financially prepared for such an event, and we knew that we would have to make some strategic "moves" if we were to survive.  Thus we began to pray that God would show us a reasonable and realistic solution to our dilemma. (An open window?) The primary goal was to find more affordable housing in which we could actually afford to live when we are fully retired and both living on social security (hopefully if it is still available).

Miraculously, very soon after declaring my "one word resolution" of HOPE for the New Year, God did in fact lead us to that "open window", and He divinely led us to people who held the door wide open for us to enter into not only a new home (new to us) that met the criteria for our future, but also to a new life...a community of friendly, welcoming, loving people who did so much more for us than just provide us with a house to live in...they have also given us a promise of future fellowship and friendship beyond our greatest expectations. 

So the rainbow in the clouds this morning represented a promise fulfilled...hope restored...answered prayer.  My husband and I both stood in the open doorway of our new home and said a prayer of thanksgiving to God for the great things He has done...both now, and in the future.  Our hearts are full.  We have even greater HOPE now than we had before.   Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

By the way, I think it is appropriate that this is the first post I have written in our new home.  There will be many more to come...but I love that it has started out this way!  I pray that God will fulfill your hopes today. Keep watching for the answers to come...He is working...even when the sky looks cloudy and dark...watch for the rainbow of His promise to appear. He has not forgotten you!