My Response to a Weary Mother

One of my precious blogging friends wrote a poignant message the other day regarding her struggles with her teen-aged daughter, whom she has just recently begun to home-school.  You can read more about this on "Beneath the Surface: Breath of Faith: blog:"Look to The East-Message for Weary Mothers".  

After reading this heart rending message, my spirit was moved with compassion and I found myself remembering the years of raising our three sons...a.k.a. "The Preacher's Kids"...which should explain everything (almost).  This is what I wrote to my friend in the comment section of her post:

"Someday I will find the courage to write the true stories of our lives...the real behind the scenes nitty gritty details of what really happened...not what was portrayed in the perfect family portraits. I have three sons. They are all uniquely and wonderfully made...but NONE of them were or are perfect by any stretch of the imagination. We fought, we cried, we pleaded with them and with God, we could not believe or understand the whys and wherefores of their imperfections and struggles. But GOD, in His neverending love and mercy, reached down and gave compassion, strength, and comfort in the dark days....and lifted our feet up out of the miry clay and helped us to stand firm on the ROCK, in spite of the angry waves surrounding our souls. HOLD ON TIGHT dear weary mother! God is still on His throne, and He has not forgotten you or your child. He's still working on her and your behalf. There WILL be better and brighter days ahead. Just keep looking UP! NO ONE, NOR ANY FAMILY is perfect, regardless of how they may appear. Love ya girlfriend. You are not alone in your struggles."

 Our sons are all adults now.  Somehow we did survive their teen years and lived to tell about it. I wish I could say that all their struggles (and ours) ceased when they reached the magical age of adulthood. But again, that would not be truthful. Oftentimes the aftermath of childhood and youthful traumas, wrong decisions, health issues, carry over into the years when they should be able to move forward into the "promised land" of maturity, successful careers, marriages, and a life of peace and joy.

We, as their parents, are still limited in what we can do for them. Sure, we can provide advice based on years of experience, but it often is not welcomed nor heeded.  We can try to make life a little easier for them by helping to carry some of their burdens, whether it be due to the bad economy, unemployment, unexpected illness, or even yet, the result of their own bad decisions.  But we can't fix everything. We cannot create perfection in our families now any more than we could when they were our little children safe at home in our nest.

What we CAN do is lift our sons/daughters up to the Throne of Grace...the Father, Creator, Sustainer, the ONE and ONLY ONE WHO is able to keep them from falling.
We, as concerned parents, can continue to ~

"Trust in the Lord, and do good;

Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.

Delight yourself also in the Lord,

and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord,

Trust also in Him,

and He shall bring it to pass."

(Psalm 37:3-5)

And we  can also claim this promise from this favorite Proverb 22:6 ~ 

"Train up a child in the way he should go,

and when he is OLD 

He will not depart from it."

I know there are many parents out there who are still waiting for the fulfillment of this promise in their adult children's lives. We know we planted the seeds early on in their childhood...we nurtured them and tried to do what we deemed best for them in every way possible.  We gave them appropriate discipline, taught them the truth from God's Word, went with them to church, dedicated them to the Lord as infants and rejoiced with them when they took the steps of faith in their own salvation and baptism and commitment to Christ.  And yet, somewhere along the way they took a left turn or a detour that led them down the wrong path and caused them to wander in the wilderness of life. We stood by helplessly watching, aghast at the choices they were making, the decisions that drove them further away from the security of home and family, and wondered where we failed them. 

Where did we go wrong? Nine times out of ten we didn't do anything "wrong".  Yes, I know there are parents who made wrong choices and decisions themselves that may have led to their children's confusion and struggles. We may be (and probably are) one of them.  But even so, God's promises are still true. And it is never too late to pray for our children...to recommit them to Christ...even if they refuse to listen or hear of it.  It is never too late for us to do as the Psalmist in Psalm 40:1-3 ~

"I waited patiently for the Lord;

And He inclined to me,

and heard my cry.

He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,

Out of the miry clay,

and set my feet upon a rock,

and established my steps.

He has put a new song in my mouth~

Praise to our God;

Many will see it and fear,

and will trust in the Lord."

So, dear weary mother, father, loved one or friend, take heart today. God is still at work in your children's lives, no matter how far they may have strayed...no matter how far YOU may have strayed...God is still God. He is still on the throne. He never gives up on us.  So HOLD ON...Keep looking up! God is not finished with ANY of us yet!!!!

Here is a new song that is applicable to us parents AND to our kids...great message for today...listen and believe it.
"You Can Change Who You Are" by Unspoken

Choices...Some Good, and Some Not So Good...

One of my dear friends wrote on her facebook status today:  "Sitting here thinking about how as a parent you can raise your children -. teaching them right from wrong, good morals and love them more than life itself. Sometimes they seem to travel down the wrong path. I can only pray that they will decide to travel down the right path again and remember what they have been taught over the years."

Who among us who happen to be parents, have not felt this way at some time or another in our lives?  I mean, if you have children, and if those children have reached adolescence and/or early adulthood, I can guarantee you that sooner of later you will have the same concerns and feelings as my friend above.  I don't care how good of a parent you are (or think you are), or how perfect you think your kids are...there will come a day that you will wonder, "Where did I go wrong?"This was my response to my friend:

"We each have to make our own choices in life...some are great, and some are not so great...but God, in His infinite mercy, has given us a second chance. Your kids are like everyone else's kids...just keep praying and loving them. You can't go wrong that way...and remember what Proverbs 22:6 says: "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Have faith. God is in control, even when we don't think so. "

Dear parent of children of any age, please don't lose hope or faith when your children stray away from the teachings of your faith and/or family traditions.  This is a natural part of growing up and becoming adults.  We can't always be there to guard them and protect them and keep them from making bad decisions.  We are not omnipresent, omnipotent, or omniscient.  But there is ONE Who is...our Heavenly Father...Abba Father...and HE loves our children so much more than we can even begin to fathom.  He tenderly guards each one of them and watches over their hearts with the infinite love of the Everlasting Father...Almighty God...The Creator and Sustainer of ALL life. 

Just as we earthly parents lovingly discipline and teach our children when they go astray, so does our Heavenly Father guide us back into the right path when we wander off...

"My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the LORD loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives."  Hebrews 12:5-6

"If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?" Hebrews 12:7

"Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.  Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.  Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the LORD; looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled." Hebrews  12:11-15

Yes, we all like sheep have gone astray... (Isaiah 53:6) but our loving Shepherd searches for us diligently until He finds us, and rejoicing, He brings us safely back into the fold.   (Luke 15:4-7)




"Gone Astray" by Michael Belk

  So, dear friend, please do not fret or fear...your child is only doing what man (or woman) has done since Adam and Eve...testing their own wings...making their own decisions...and it's all apart of growing up.  You don't have to like it or approve, but you do need to trust God to take care of His own.  He will not fail you. Just keep praying and trusting...and loving.  He'll take care of the rest.  Trust me, I know what I'm talking about!!!