What Do You See Outside YOUR Open Window Today?

What Do You See Outside YOUR Open Window Today?
Remember: "When God closes a door, He always opens a window!" You never know what might be out there waiting for you!

Friday, February 15, 2013

My Response to a Weary Mother

One of my precious blogging friends wrote a poignant message the other day regarding her struggles with her teen-aged daughter, whom she has just recently begun to home-school.  You can read more about this on "Beneath the Surface: Breath of Faith: blog:"Look to The East-Message for Weary Mothers".  

After reading this heart rending message, my spirit was moved with compassion and I found myself remembering the years of raising our three sons...a.k.a. "The Preacher's Kids"...which should explain everything (almost).  This is what I wrote to my friend in the comment section of her post:

"Someday I will find the courage to write the true stories of our lives...the real behind the scenes nitty gritty details of what really happened...not what was portrayed in the perfect family portraits. I have three sons. They are all uniquely and wonderfully made...but NONE of them were or are perfect by any stretch of the imagination. We fought, we cried, we pleaded with them and with God, we could not believe or understand the whys and wherefores of their imperfections and struggles. But GOD, in His neverending love and mercy, reached down and gave compassion, strength, and comfort in the dark days....and lifted our feet up out of the miry clay and helped us to stand firm on the ROCK, in spite of the angry waves surrounding our souls. HOLD ON TIGHT dear weary mother! God is still on His throne, and He has not forgotten you or your child. He's still working on her and your behalf. There WILL be better and brighter days ahead. Just keep looking UP! NO ONE, NOR ANY FAMILY is perfect, regardless of how they may appear. Love ya girlfriend. You are not alone in your struggles."
 Our sons are all adults now.  Somehow we did survive their teen years and lived to tell about it. I wish I could say that all their struggles (and ours) ceased when they reached the magical age of adulthood. But again, that would not be truthful. Oftentimes the aftermath of childhood and youthful traumas, wrong decisions, health issues, carry over into the years when they should be able to move forward into the "promised land" of maturity, successful careers, marriages, and a life of peace and joy.

We, as their parents, are still limited in what we can do for them. Sure, we can provide advice based on years of experience, but it often is not welcomed nor heeded.  We can try to make life a little easier for them by helping to carry some of their burdens, whether it be due to the bad economy, unemployment, unexpected illness, or even yet, the result of their own bad decisions.  But we can't fix everything. We cannot create perfection in our families now any more than we could when they were our little children safe at home in our nest.

What we CAN do is lift our sons/daughters up to the Throne of Grace...the Father, Creator, Sustainer, the ONE and ONLY ONE WHO is able to keep them from falling.
We, as concerned parents, can continue to ~

"Trust in the Lord, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.

Delight yourself also in the Lord,
and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him,
and He shall bring it to pass."
(Psalm 37:3-5)

And we  can also claim this promise from this favorite Proverb 22:6 ~ 

"Train up a child in the way he should go,
and when he is OLD 
He will not depart from it."

I know there are many parents out there who are still waiting for the fulfillment of this promise in their adult children's lives. We know we planted the seeds early on in their childhood...we nurtured them and tried to do what we deemed best for them in every way possible.  We gave them appropriate discipline, taught them the truth from God's Word, went with them to church, dedicated them to the Lord as infants and rejoiced with them when they took the steps of faith in their own salvation and baptism and commitment to Christ.  And yet, somewhere along the way they took a left turn or a detour that led them down the wrong path and caused them to wander in the wilderness of life. We stood by helplessly watching, aghast at the choices they were making, the decisions that drove them further away from the security of home and family, and wondered where we failed them. 

Where did we go wrong? Nine times out of ten we didn't do anything "wrong".  Yes, I know there are parents who made wrong choices and decisions themselves that may have led to their children's confusion and struggles. We may be (and probably are) one of them.  But even so, God's promises are still true. And it is never too late to pray for our children...to recommit them to Christ...even if they refuse to listen or hear of it.  It is never too late for us to do as the Psalmist in Psalm 40:1-3 ~

"I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me,
and heard my cry.
He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
and set my feet upon a rock,
and established my steps.
He has put a new song in my mouth~
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
and will trust in the Lord."

So, dear weary mother, father, loved one or friend, take heart today. God is still at work in your children's lives, no matter how far they may have strayed...no matter how far YOU may have strayed...God is still God. He is still on the throne. He never gives up on us.  So HOLD ON...Keep looking up! God is not finished with ANY of us yet!!!!

Here is a new song that is applicable to us parents AND to our kids...great message for today...listen and believe it.
"You Can Change Who You Are" by Unspoken


  1. Truly beautiful post Pam. I completely identify with it, as we raised 2 sons also. Watching them as adults is frustrating and rewarding both together. Bless you and our mutual friend Dawn.

    1. When I think how frustrating it is for US as parents to watch our grown kids in their struggles, I have to realize how super frustrating it must be for God to watch all of His creation groaning under the weight of this world's sorrows. Especially when He sent us Jesus to bear these burdens for us. Maybe we will understand it all better by and by...

  2. Oh my goodness, my friend- how this blessed me. Every single word of it...you know I have been "feeding on His faithfulness" and I am grateful as ever for the reminding still of words that magnify His grace, mercy and truth : "But we can't fix everything. We cannot create perfection in our families now any more than we could when they were our little children safe at home in our nest." God knows I struggle with this and I know it is a faith war with the One who is a more faithful and perfect parent than I...and more gracious. May I be conformed (oh, the pain of it! ;))to Him. Moving response to my teary eyed post. Yes, I wrote through tears while trusting He could use one weary mamma's honesty, redeeming through it something of value. Sharing yours. Hugs. To you and Susie. Sweet sisters in Grace.

    1. You are walking through a difficult forest right now...but there is light at the end of your struggles...just be faithful to the task at hand. God is carrying you, sustaining you, and strenghtening you in ways you can't begin to comprehend today. Someday we will all look back on these days of our parenthood and realize that we were never alone, not even for an instant. But even God has to let us experience these growing pains so that we can become stronger in faith and courage. If He made life too easy for us, we would not have needed a Savior, and we wouldn't appreciate the glory that is yet to come in heaven! Just keep walking face forward into the Light. He'll take care of the details.

  3. SO encouraging, Pam. Many thanks. This resonates so very much with me, and I've got three close friends who NEED to read both of these blog posts.

    1. Thank you, Pam. As parents, we ALL struggle with these issues in life...none of us gets through parenthood with all gold stars. Not even the ones who "appear" to have it all together. Sooner or later we all realize that we need a Helper to hold us up and carry us through. Thankfully, God already had that figured out and provided His Holy Spirit to do just that. And good friends...Thank you!!!

  4. Pamela: Your words are truly beautiful. We chose to raise one son. He had special medical needs. He also had his own brand of rebellion. What I would like to say here might sound like I am asking for pity, but I am not. Our son is close to us, but not geographically.

    1. No, you are not asking for anything that is not common to each of us who have been given the privilege of parenthood. We need to encourage each other and hold each other up. Sooner or later we all go through some kind of pain/sorrow/disappointment...because none of us had perfect kids. And none of us are perfect either. So we are in good company. That's why we all need Jesus!!!!! :)


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