A Happy Institution...or "The Funny Farm"? Updated for Our 50th Anniversary

Updated for our 50th Anniversary - Today! August 16, 2019

Marriage, An Honorable Institution...or "The Funny Farm"?

(This was originally written on 8/16/2011, but has been edited for our 50th Anniversary. 

The message is timeless)

Today is our 42nd  50th Anniversary!  Can you imagine? In this day and age, a couple who have actually been married to each other for 42  50 years?  Yeah, sometimes I wonder about that myself!  How did we do it?  You may be asking..."Has it all been perfect wedded bliss?"  Well, what do YOU think?  Anyone who knows me very well knows that most likely it has not been all perfectly lovely all the time.  I will be the first to admit it that I've not always been sweet and charming and obedient and submissive and all that stuff...but, on the other hand, I can honestly say that even when I wasn't all sweet and lovely and blah blah blah, and even when my husband wasn't always perfectly wonderful and full of wisdom and always doing the right thing...even when we were absolutely acting like two crazy human beings...we somehow always found a way to love each other...in spite of the mistakes and arguments and disagreements and disappointments and trials and tribulations and heartaches and fears and sorrows and betrayals and ....well the list could go on and on. Why?  Because I don't believe it is humanly possible for any two human beings to live together in perfect harmony for forty two  fifty years without having some times of hurt and pain and disappointment, and doubts and fears.  It just isn't possible...and if you say to me that you've been married that long and have never had a disagreement or disappointment or have ever had to say, "I'm sorry...", well, I would truly question your humanity!  I would seriously doubt you were for real!  I would think that perhaps someone is fooling someone somewhere 'cause it just "ain't possible!" 

The thing that I love most about our marriage is the fact that in spite of all the heartaches and disappointments and moves (and we are in the middle of a major move right now as I write this today, Aug. 16, 2019) (more moves than I care to number), and frustrations and embarrassments and all the other trials and tribulations...we can still laugh...we can still love...we can still say, "I'm sorry, please forgive me...and "Yes, I forgive you..."  We can still lay our heads down on our pillows at night and no matter how awful the day has been...how angry we might have been, how tired we might be...we have always tried to live up to the one vow we took very seriously in the beginning...

"Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil!"  Ephesians 4:26

If I could give one piece of advice to any newly married couple it would be exactly that verse...if more couples could heed the wisdom of that one verse and practice it in their homes, how many marriages and homes could have been saved?  I know there are always exceptions and people who are just downright evil and mean and cruel...so I cannot give this advice to someone who has been trapped in an abusive situation...but to the normal everyday couple...if they would just try to practice this advice...kiss and make-up before your eyes shut for the night...even if you have to settle the issue the next day...at least agree to love one another in peace and let God bring needed rest and healing to your hearts throughout the night.  It is amazing how much clearer and better your thoughts are in the morning. 

I am not some "Pollyanna" who thinks just wishing and thinking good thoughts can make it so...but I do believe in the power of love and prayer.  Commit your way to the Lord...give your heartaches to Him each night...even if your spouse refuses to agree or change...YOU do your part!  Don't give way to stubbornness...for stubbornness gives way to unforgiveness and hard-heartedness.  Give God a chance to work in YOUR heart and mind first...and then see if He doesn't do something about your spouse's mind and heart as well!  Try it...pray about it...and see what God can do.

Yes, our marriage has been a real "institution"....sometimes a "funny farm", sometimes a war-zone, sometimes a place where angels fear to tread...but underneath it all,

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms..." Deuteronomy 33:27

That's the only secret to success in marriage I can offer...Make God your refuge...and rest in His everlasting arms...and no matter what befalls you...you will have a safe resting place...no matter what.



Mr. and Mrs. John F. Steiner
August 16, 1969 -The Honorable Institution of Marriage...

John and Pam Steiner  - 42 years later  ..."The Funny Farm" 



And today...50 years later!

Good Night, Sleep tight...and don't let the bedbugs bite!!