A Happy Institution...or "The Funny Farm"? Updated for Our 50th Anniversary

Updated for our 50th Anniversary - Today! August 16, 2019

Marriage, An Honorable Institution...or "The Funny Farm"?

(This was originally written on 8/16/2011, but has been edited for our 50th Anniversary. 

The message is timeless)

Today is our 42nd  50th Anniversary!  Can you imagine? In this day and age, a couple who have actually been married to each other for 42  50 years?  Yeah, sometimes I wonder about that myself!  How did we do it?  You may be asking..."Has it all been perfect wedded bliss?"  Well, what do YOU think?  Anyone who knows me very well knows that most likely it has not been all perfectly lovely all the time.  I will be the first to admit it that I've not always been sweet and charming and obedient and submissive and all that stuff...but, on the other hand, I can honestly say that even when I wasn't all sweet and lovely and blah blah blah, and even when my husband wasn't always perfectly wonderful and full of wisdom and always doing the right thing...even when we were absolutely acting like two crazy human beings...we somehow always found a way to love each other...in spite of the mistakes and arguments and disagreements and disappointments and trials and tribulations and heartaches and fears and sorrows and betrayals and ....well the list could go on and on. Why?  Because I don't believe it is humanly possible for any two human beings to live together in perfect harmony for forty two  fifty years without having some times of hurt and pain and disappointment, and doubts and fears.  It just isn't possible...and if you say to me that you've been married that long and have never had a disagreement or disappointment or have ever had to say, "I'm sorry...", well, I would truly question your humanity!  I would seriously doubt you were for real!  I would think that perhaps someone is fooling someone somewhere 'cause it just "ain't possible!" 

The thing that I love most about our marriage is the fact that in spite of all the heartaches and disappointments and moves (and we are in the middle of a major move right now as I write this today, Aug. 16, 2019) (more moves than I care to number), and frustrations and embarrassments and all the other trials and tribulations...we can still laugh...we can still love...we can still say, "I'm sorry, please forgive me...and "Yes, I forgive you..."  We can still lay our heads down on our pillows at night and no matter how awful the day has been...how angry we might have been, how tired we might be...we have always tried to live up to the one vow we took very seriously in the beginning...

"Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil!"  Ephesians 4:26

If I could give one piece of advice to any newly married couple it would be exactly that verse...if more couples could heed the wisdom of that one verse and practice it in their homes, how many marriages and homes could have been saved?  I know there are always exceptions and people who are just downright evil and mean and cruel...so I cannot give this advice to someone who has been trapped in an abusive situation...but to the normal everyday couple...if they would just try to practice this advice...kiss and make-up before your eyes shut for the night...even if you have to settle the issue the next day...at least agree to love one another in peace and let God bring needed rest and healing to your hearts throughout the night.  It is amazing how much clearer and better your thoughts are in the morning. 

I am not some "Pollyanna" who thinks just wishing and thinking good thoughts can make it so...but I do believe in the power of love and prayer.  Commit your way to the Lord...give your heartaches to Him each night...even if your spouse refuses to agree or change...YOU do your part!  Don't give way to stubbornness...for stubbornness gives way to unforgiveness and hard-heartedness.  Give God a chance to work in YOUR heart and mind first...and then see if He doesn't do something about your spouse's mind and heart as well!  Try it...pray about it...and see what God can do.

Yes, our marriage has been a real "institution"....sometimes a "funny farm", sometimes a war-zone, sometimes a place where angels fear to tread...but underneath it all,

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms..." Deuteronomy 33:27

That's the only secret to success in marriage I can offer...Make God your refuge...and rest in His everlasting arms...and no matter what befalls you...you will have a safe resting place...no matter what.



Mr. and Mrs. John F. Steiner
August 16, 1969 -The Honorable Institution of Marriage...

John and Pam Steiner  - 42 years later  ..."The Funny Farm" 



And today...50 years later!

Good Night, Sleep tight...and don't let the bedbugs bite!!

Friday Foto Friends...Bliss or Blessed?

 Here it is Friday Foto Friends day...and I didn't have my post ready this morning! It's been a rather busy and difficult week, as most of you know, and so I haven't really felt like doing much writing.  But I just couldn't let the day slip by without posting something!  So this may be a rather random and disjointed post today...let's just wing it and see where it leads, okay?

Here goes:

Yesterday we celebrated 49 years of wedded bliss!  Well...49 years of wedded blessings...maybe not all bliss, but certainly all blessed!  Like every couple who has weathered many years of marriage to the same partner...we all know it couldn't always be bliss...every couple and family goes through trials and tribulations at one time or another.  But the blessing comes by offering up those trials to the Lord in prayer, and trusting Him to guide, control, and strengthen us in the process of this life.  When we learn to take our troubles to the Lord, we also learn to dwell in peace and have the joy that can only come from trusting God...no matter what the world throws at us.  So thankful that God helped us to build our marriage on the strong foundation of faith in Christ right from the beginning. Had it not been for that Rock holding us up, there were many times we might have given in to despair and sorrow and have crumbled under the strain.  Praise God for that Mighty Rock...

"This rock is Jesus, yes He's the One...This Rock is Jesus, the Only One...Be very sure, be very sure, your anchor holds, and grips the Solid Rock..."

In Times Like These 

by Ruth Caye Jones

In times like these you need a Savior,

In times like these you need an anchor; 

Be very sure, be very sure,

Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

This Rock is Jesus, Yes He's the One,

This Rock is Jesus, the only One;

Be very sure, be very sure,

Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

In times like these you need the Bible,

In times like these, O be not idle; 

Be very sure, be very sure,

Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

This Rock is Jesus, Yes He's the One,

This Rock is Jesus, the only One;

Be very sure, be very sure,

Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

In times like these I have a Savior,

In times like these I have an anchor;

I'm very sure, I'm very sure

My anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

This Rock is Jesus, Yes He's the One,

This Rock is Jesus, the only One;

Be very sure, be very sure,

Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock!

I think I will leave it here for today. Sorry for not having more pictures to share...but this is the message I've been "given" to share with you today.

Amen.

Postscript:  I thought I would add a couple of pictures afterall...just to brighten and lighten this up:

We had a delicious steak dinner last night for our anniversary, cooked by our youngest son, who is a "chef"...I didn't take any pictures of the meal...but we used our "wedding china" that rarely gets used due to not being dishwasher safe...Ha Ha:

And recently I found these two bowls at a thrift shop, that go with our other "casual" wedding china:

And even though I really didn't need two more bowls to add to my overstuffed cupboard full of dishes, I could not resist them since they belonged to this set and I never had any of the bowls before!

Also, another random photo or two...I recently had to replace my electric tea-kettle, and purchased this new glass one...and it is such fun to watch the water boil! I love how it lights up with that neon blue light while heating...

They say a "watched pot never boils", but this one does, apparently!  Okay, that's all folks. Wanted to come back with a few photos to make you smile. Hope it happened!  Be blessed...and it's never too late to get your life safely on that Rock!!! Just ask Him and He'll be there!!

My Kind of Day

Don't you just love Saturdays when you don't have anything particular planned, and it kind of plans itself while you sit back and enjoy the ride?  That's how this day has been.  Now, first, let me say right off the top...I know our friends in Texas have not had a good day...and they are in for a rough ride for a while...so by all means we must continue to pray for our dear friends along the Texas/LA. coast line and surrounding areas.  Been praying for a couple of days for them...and will keep on.  We have some sweet blogging friends there...and so far they seem to be okay...but let's keep them in our prayers, okay?

Now, back to my day here in "sunny Florida"...well, not so sunny here today either . Woke up this morning and it was already raining softly...making it sort of difficult to wake up and get out of that bed, let me tell you!! But eventually we climbed out and had our cups of coffee and tea

and checked our messages on facebook/email/blogs...you know the routine...just takin' it easy...

And then our sweet new daughter-in-law-to-be showed up on our doorstep bright and early! She and our son had big plans for the day to celebrate his birthday. (which is Monday). We had an impromptu family gathered around the table big breakfast of waffles, eggs, and sausage, and then they were headed over to the coast (Atlantic side) to take a little River Cruise and lunch on a beautiful paddle wheel boat.  Being the typical "mother", I was afraid they would get rained out, but they were determined to go anyway...and I'm so glad they did! The sun came out and they had a beautiful day.


While they were gone hubby and I took a slow ride to the "dump", the hardware store, the local small grocery store and back home again.  I was having withdrawal because I had loaned my camera to the "kids" for their excursion today (See my camera in Rose's hands above...taking their "selfie" in a mirror on the boat)...and it is very difficult for me to go anywhere without my camera. I don't have a fancy cell phone with a decent camera...it wouldn't work around here in the woods anyway. So I hoped I wouldn't see any exciting things happening like a bear or a deer or an eagle and not have a camera in hand.  It finally got so bad that I dug out a spare camera that hadn't been used for a while because the last time I used it it didn't work so well...but I dusted it off, put in new batteries and a blank memory card, and guess what? It worked!

By this time I had decided to bake a couple of pumpkin pies! Why? Because hubby had mentioned how much he wished I would...and I had all the right ingredients...and didn't have any other plans...so why not?  The spare camera came in handy to take a picture just as they came out of the oven:

I wish our computers had a "scratch and sniff" app so you could smell just how delicious these pies smelled, with their cinnamon, ginger and clove spices mingling with the aroma of the pumpkin and baked pastry...are you drooling yet?  Who says you have to wait until Thanksgiving for pumpkin pie???? I say a rainy Saturday afternoon with nothing special to do is as good a time as any...especially when it makes so many people happy as these pies did! You can imagine how much the "kids" enjoyed these when they got back from their cruise...too full from their lunch for any supper...but just the right appetite for a piece of pie with whipped cream! A perfect ending to a perfect day!

Now it is raining again...my tummy is full and happy from eating that pie...hubby has been singing my praises for baking it...the "kids" (I call them kids, but they are both in their 40's and hardly can be called "kids"...but you know what I mean...your kids are always your kids no matter how old they get...) have been enjoying talking about their little excursion and also happily making plans for their upcoming wedding in a couple of months...and future plans to fix up their house and begin their lives together....

Yes, this has been "my kind of day"... family time...peaceful moments...joyful expectations...the kind of stuff that makes for a happy home and life...even saw this deer meander through our front yard this evening, just before the rain started to really come down again:

Kind of blurry because it was getting dark...but such a neat way to end the day...

Before the "kids" left for their little trip this morning we shared our morning devotions with them...and the Psalm that was read was Psalm 128:

"Blessed is every one who fears the Lord,

Who walks in His ways.

When you eat the labor of your hands,

You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you.

Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine

in the very heart of your house.

Your children like olive plants all around your table.

Behold, thus shall the man be blessed 

who fears the Lord.

The Lord bless you out of Zion,

and may you see the good of Jerusalem

all the days of your life.

Yes, may you see your children's children.

Peace by upon Israel!"

What a beautiful blessing to be read with a sweet couple about to be married...and even for us, the parents, who feel very blessed to have our children all around our table...We don't know what the future holds for us or for our "kids"...but we pray their home will be filled with peace, joy, and love...and who knows what further blessings the Lord may have in store for them? We'll just leave that up to God, Who knows all things and what is best always.

Yes, this was "my kind of day!!"

Praise the Lord!

Rejoice With Us!

Romans 12:15 a. "Rejoice with those who rejoice..."

Psalm 28:7

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; 

My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped;

Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, 

and with my song I will praise Him."

Psalm 30:11

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness."

Psalm 30:5

"Weeping may endure for a night, 

but JOY comes in the morning."

What is all of this about? You may not fully comprehend the joy that I feel today!  Our oldest son has announced his engagement to a lovely young Christian woman...and we are rejoicing!

 Rejoicing because  this is definitely something to be happy about!  Rejoicing because this is an answer to many years of prayer! Rejoicing because God is so gracious and loving and kind...

You may not understand why this is such a big deal...but it is...and we give God the glory and honor and praise...for Great Things He Hath Done!!!

"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh..." 

Mark 10:7-8

The engagement ring they have chosen is a combination of both of their birthstones, each cut into a heart shape. Very beautiful and uniquely their own.


P.S.  The two roses came from our Memorial Garden. Kind of an "engagement gift" from Benton's brother Matthew in heaven ....Roses for Rose and Benton...the first blooms of this year on this bush.

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are glad!" 

 Psalm 126:3

Rejoice with us!

Wondering About Heaven - Updated

I originally wrote this post two years ago...and this has been on my mind again today. I feel like the day ought to be remembered as it was a wonderful occasion, joining two beautiful hearts as one, and two families became united in a unique relationship that doesn't stop at the grave. Cancer is a deadly foe, but it can't destroy the love that lasts for eternity.
 
We miss our son in so many ways...but we are thankful for the marvelous memories that we have and also for the gift of our one and only grandchild that came as a result of this union.  Matthew's legacy lives on in his son and will continue on in the generations to come.

Nicole, Matthew, and their son Noah, February, 2014

Original Post 8/7/2014:
Not sure what to write today.  It is the 21st wedding anniversary of my son Matthew and his wife Nicole.

But Matthew is in heaven...since May 25th of this year. I wonder if he has thought about this day at all from his vantage point in heaven?  Don't you sometimes wonder what people in heaven think about? I do.
Especially since my son joined my parents (his maternal grandparents), his paternal grandfather,

1993: Wedding Rehearsal party, Matt greeting his
Grandpa Mursch who just arrived.   Looking on
is his Granddaddy Steiner and Nanny Steiner.  I wonder
if this was how they greeted each other in heaven?

Granddaddy Steiner, Grandma Mursch, and Grandpa Mursch (my parents),
Who were all waiting for Matthew when he arrived in heaven.

I wonder if Matthew is dancing with his Grandma on the streets of gold tonight?

and all the other greats and great-great ancestors. And all the saints of old...and of course, Jesus Himself, first of all and best of all.

Regarding marriage in heaven, Jesus said, "For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven."  Matthew 22:30

This does not mean that people in heaven won't recognize or know their spouse or loved ones, but only that those relationships are no longer necessary in heaven. We will all be like the angels of God...everyone will love everyone equally is what that says to me. One very big family reunion!

The other day I was sitting on the sun porch, watching the birds in the back yard flitting to and fro, busily gathering seeds and flying back to their nests possibly to feed their young, and I was suddenly aware of the feeling that I was not alone.

I don't say this to give anyone the heebie-jeebies or make you think I'm weird. (You probably already do, so this will be no great revelation!)  I was actually thinking of how much my parents would have enjoyed this home and the surroundings, and how pleased they would be to know that I had such a home to enjoy. They both had already passed on when we were able to buy this house...actually it is because of their gift to their children as our inheritance that we were able to even consider this place. But that is another story...and a miraculous one at that.

No, what I was thinking was that perhaps my parents and grandparents and all those before them could be smiling down upon this scene and rejoicing with us. That's when I remembered that they were actually sitting right behind me on the shelves, well, at least their pictures were, and it gave me such a feeling of peace. Hard to explain, but it was a good feeling, and I had to stop and give thanks for such wonderful parents and grandparents...all who set a godly example for me...and who loved all their children with such a tender sweetness.

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let  us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him

endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Hebrews 12:1-2

How can I sum this up? Here are some thoughts for my own self and perhaps for you as well:

• When you are feeling sad or lonely, or missing  loved ones who have gone on to their heavenly home, picture them happy in heaven. 
• Don't dwell on the sorrow or the emptiness.  Dwell on the joy that is now theirs, and will some day be yours.
• Don't get bogged down by circumstances that you are unable to change here.  Focus your eyes on Jesus, "The Author and Finisher of our faith...who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross..."
• Run your race with confidence and endurance...the reward of heaven is in sight.
• "Be at peace among yourselves." I Thessalonians 5:13
• "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."  I Thessalonians 5:16-18

This gives me a sense of peace and comfort tonight. I hope there is something here for you too. 

Have a blessed day my friend.

Spontaneous Joy

"I am the Lord, and there is NO OTHER;

There is NO GOD besides ME.

I will gird you, though you have not known Me,

That they may know from the 

RISING OF THE SUN

 TO ITS SETTING

That there is NONE besides Me.

I AM the Lord, and there is NO OTHER;

I form the LIGHT

AND CREATE DARKNESS

I make peace and create calamity;

I, the Lord, do all these things.

Rain down, you heavens, from above,

and let the skies pour down

righteousness;

Let the earth open, let them bring forth salvation,

and let righteousness spring up together.

I, the Lord, have created it."

Isaiah 45:5-8

What is so amazing about these verses is that this was the scripture passage pre-selected for our morning devotions today, which we did not read until after my hubby and I came home from a spontaneous trip to our nearby lake/public boat ramp to watch the sunrise.  These sunrise pictures were taken on two separate mornings this weekend, hopefully the first of many with my sweet husband of 45+ years. I cannot begin to express to you first of all, the joy of viewing God's glorious splendor so early in the morning with my hubby...but also the fact that we did it not once, but twice in the same weekend! 

If you find your relationship with your spouse is lacking 

spontaneity, or you are finding it difficult to make time to communicate with one another, 

why not make an effort to wake up a little earlier next weekend (or weekday if you don't have to go to work), grab your travel mugs of coffee or tea, a camera, and a sweatshirt

and take a ride or walk to wherever you can best view

the sunrise together

and just enjoy!

Take a moment to recognize the

majesty and splendor of God's handiwork...

worship and praise Him together...

and then spend a little extra time

sharing the spontaneous joy of the moment with your mate.

This is the best date we've had in a LONG time.

I highly recommend it.

"Live Joyfully..."



I hope we never get too old for this.

 Ecclesiastes 9:9 "Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun."

This past week my husband celebrated his 63rd birthday.  To some of you, that may sound old. And to many of you, that may sound young!  Whichever way you view it, it's a very good thing to be having a birthday at all.  Over the past several years we have lost way too many of our good friends prematurely to cancer and other unexpected illnesses.  Not only has that created a real sense of sorrow and sadness within us, but it has also helped us to realize the preciousness of the gift of good health and life together.  Notice I said "gift"...it is not a guarantee.

Old King Solomon wrote a lot of very wise messages throughout the Bible.  Many of the examples of his great wisdom can be found in the book of Proverbs, The Song of Solomon, and the book of Ecclesiastes.  He often talks about the relationship between a husband and a wife...something about which I am certain he had a lot of experience.  It is written in I Kings 11:3 that "he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines..."   I'm not sure just how Solomon managed so many women...(or how they managed him!), but obviously life was quite different for his family than it is for ours today.  Thankfully so.  I don't think that Solomon lived all that joyfully with his "wife"...there was a lot of strife in his family, and God had to judge and discipline him rather sternly.

I did not intend to get into a theological discussion here regarding Solomon's behavior and family life.  I mainly wanted to take a moment to reflect on life in general...and to take a moment to thank the Lord for my husband, for the blessing of good health, and for the fact that, despite times of disappointment, sorrow, uncertainty and other difficult trials through which we have come in the past 41+ years together, the fact remains that we have come through them together.  I won't pretend that we have always faced our troubles joyfully, or even that we have always agreed on the path to follow, but the important thing is, when all is said and done, we did it together, and hopefully we will continue to do so for many more years...Lord willing...and with God's divine help.  God has not promised us a smooth path or a bed of roses, but He has promised to be with us...and never leave us or forsake us. 

Deuteronomy 31:8, "And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you.  He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed."

Yes, I am thankful for my husband...and I am most thankful that together we have learned to trust in that wonderful Lord, Who has never forsaken or left us.  When all is said and done, that is what matters more than anything. Amen.

Who Can Find a Virtuous Wife?

"Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.  The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."  Proverbs 31:10-12

Elizabeth Edwards, 1949-2010

Today Elizabeth Edwards passed from this life into eternity.  Although I did not know Elizabeth Edwards personally, how could I not know about her as her most private, personal life struggles were very much before the public eyes for almost the past decade?  I have not read either of her books, nor have I followed all of her story very closely.  But I admired her courage, her wisdom, and her strength of character in the midst of a very challenging, painful passage in her life.

I did not realize until tonight's newscast that the Edwards' had lost a precious son to a car accident back in 1996, when the boy was just sixteen years old.  Then, Elizabeth's continual battle with breast cancer, followed by the horrendous news that her Presidential-candidate husband had been having an extra-marital affair that actually went beyond just an "affair", but led to him fathering a  child with this "other woman"....all while he was still married to his wife of thirty-something years and the father of their four wonderful children. All this while Elizabeth was battling for her own life, fighting the ravages of breast cancer that today finally claimed her as another victim.

I do not know anything about Elizabeth's personal relationship with God...was she a believer in Jesus Christ as her personal Savior?  Even though she and her husband stood on the more liberal side of the political fence, I can't help but think that she had some very strong beliefs undergirding her throughout her ordeal.  It would be extremely difficult indeed to go through such tragedies without the comfort of a loving, compassionate Savior to carry her through.  But, as I said, I don't know where she stood in relation to Christ...maybe some of you may know.  I truly hope that she had made peace with God in her heart and soul, and that she is enjoying the welcoming embrace of her heavenly Father right now as we think of her...and that she is also hugging and holding onto her long-missed son, savoring the sweet fragrance of his spirit with her once again.

Again, I don't know where Elizabeth stood with God, but somehow I see her in the Proverb quoted above...

Proverbs 31:10 ~ "Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies."  

Yes, I can see that.

"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So HE will have no lack of gain..." (verse 11)...

Yes, I can see that, too.  Her husband trusted her, but unfortunately he himself did not prove trustworthy.

"She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." (verse 12)...

Yes, I see that as well.  Even when he was selfishly pursuing his own foolish desires and dreams, she continued to stand by him and did not speak evil of him.  For the sake of their children, perhaps...or maybe because that's just the kind of woman Elizabeth Edwards was...a true classy lady...one who would not stoop to injure another just because he had injured her first.  She continued to do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

Did her husband deserve such a wife as Elizabeth Edwards proved to be? No, decidedly not.  But I pray that her strength of character and demonstration of true love will long be remembered...by her children, her friends, and yes, even her husband.  I hope that in her death he will finally come to realize what a fool he has been, and that perhaps he will find redemption for his own soul.  For the sake of their children...and even the little "love-child" he had brought into this world...I pray he will become the kind of man God wants him to be. 

I pray that Elizabeth Edwards will truly rest in peace.  And may God be with her family who have been left behind, both now and for eternity.   Amen.