What Do You See Outside YOUR Open Window Today?

What Do You See Outside YOUR Open Window Today?
Remember: "When God closes a door, He always opens a window!" You never know what might be out there waiting for you!

Thursday, June 6, 2019

Friday Foto Friends - I think I need an intervention...

Friday Foto Friends and Thankful Thursday combined

After my post yesterday "Disappointment Turned To Thankfulness" (HERE), I have had several interesting and helpful thoughts shared by readers both here and on Facebook and in private messages, about what might help to sell our home.  The overwhelming response was "staging"...or, in other words, remove a lot of the personal stuff, and stage the house to make it look more like what the prospective buyer would like.  I'll share a few pictures here of our dining room and kitchen so you can see what a BIG job that would be for me to do...
 Dining Room

I mean, I love the idea...and I'd really like to do it, but we would have to rent a large storage unit to store everything by the time we went through the whole house and removed all of the "stuff" that makes this house our "home".   I won't bother to show pictures of the rest of the house...but these should give you the idea of what I'm up against...
 Dining Room

 Kitchen

 Kitchen

Kitchen

Yes, I know I have way too much stuff.  Most everything I have was either inherited from relatives on all sides of the family, or the accumulation of many wonderful gifts from friends and loved ones throughout the 50 years of our marriage.  Trust me, I want to start the process of downsizing...that is one of the reasons we are trying to sell our house and move to a smaller house.  But I've been thinking all along that when we finally sell this house and find another to move to, we will get rid of things that don't fit in the new house.  That will be my guide and impetus to give, sell, donate, throw away all the things that just don't fit.  And so, therefore, I don't really want to "pack" and "store" all that stuff now, because I'm not too sure that I even want to keep a lot of it.

So, I think I need an intervention.  I need some people to come alongside and help me start the process of  "letting go".  This is too big of a job for just one person.  I know, yes, I have a husband, and he agrees we need to do this...but his ideas of what to get rid of and my ideas don't always coincide.  Men, in general, don't have the same understanding of the value of grandma's dishes, or great Aunt Dode's dresser, Click HERE for it's story.

(Yes, there is such a thing as "Great Aunt Dode's Dresser"...actually she was my great-great Aunt Dode!)

or Nanny's sewing machine...you know what I mean?
Nanny Martin's Sewing Machine on the Sun Porch

Well, maybe you don't...but trust me...I have struggled with this for many years. I have been the "keeper" of the family heirlooms, entrusted with a holy mandate to take care of them for posterity's sake... or something like that...and pass them along to the next generation.  However, sadly, the next generation isn't all that interested in preserving the family heirlooms.  I mean, they really aren't that valuable from a monetary point of view...they are only valuable because they belonged to people we knew and loved...or people those people we knew and loved knew and loved whether we knew and loved them or not because they were before our time...(So you see my problem?)
Foyer

Anyway...back to the problem at hand.  Much of the issue here regarding selling our home is not really about what I have inside the house...it's more a matter of there just aren't that many people even looking for houses in our area, especially houses like ours. This is mostly a vacation/resort/weekend/snow-bird kind of community.  The weekenders/vacationers are looking for houses on or near the lake or rivers or with water access.  We don't have that. It's nearby, but not near enough for those people.  The snowbirds and retirees who move here aren't looking for a big house and yard that they will have to maintain. I get that. We don't want that anymore either since we are retired and getting tired of doing all of that.  This would make a wonderful family home for a large family, except there are no schools in this community. The nearest elementary/middle school is over 15 miles away, and the high school is even farther than that.  So the biggest problem is not really all this stuff in the house, it's just getting them to come and look at the house in the first place. I mean, we've had this house for sale for almost 9 months, and we've probably only had about 9 people look at it, if that.

So, that's my story.  For now, I am working at beginning the process of letting go.  If you come and visit, don't bring gifts, you may have to take something back home with you.  (You can bring food...that always gets used right away and appreciated! LOL)  But seriously, if you do come, maybe you could help me figure this out...and maybe take a few things home with you...

Thank you, everyone, for your thoughts and ideas. I DO appreciate them, believe me I do. I love that many have taken the time to share their thoughts with me.  That's what I love about this community of friends...we actually do care about one another, and we want to see each other succeed and be blessed.  I am blessed by you. God bless you and thank you. Your love and concern mean more to me than you know. Thank you dear friends.

21 comments:

  1. Pam: Could you think about selling those things that believe you don't want to take with you when the time comes to move? Just a suggestion. When we had to put my dad into a nursing home, my stepmother's sister and I went through the house and looked at stuff and gave things back to the boy my stepmother raised that he had given her. Her sister took what she had given them. Some things came to our house. Some pictures of my great aunt's family went to a cousin with whom they had been close.
    All of what I say here are purely suggestions.

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    1. Yes, I am thinking about having a yard sale or "estate sale" (kind of) and then what doesn't get sold or given to family/friends will be donated to our church Thrift Store. It's just the matter of getting organized to do that and making up my mind what goes and what stays. I have mixed emotions about all of that, so I probably really do need an intervention! LOL Thank you for your very good suggestions. Our sons don't really want this stuff as they really don't have room for it either, and our grandson lives too far away and doesn't have any interest in it either. The rest of our immediate family is already inundated with too much of their own stuff...so that is the problem. When it all comes down to it, it's all just "stuff"...we can't take it with us to heaven...and a lot of it isn't really useful to people today...just stuff to look at and remember when... So, we shall see how it all goes...one day at a time. Thank you again. I appreciate your good thoughts.

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  2. I feel your pain and I also think we may be twins separated at birth. You have SO many beautiful pieces! OK, I'll be honest and say that you may just have a FEW more things that I've got but for the same reasons, I want them with me to enjoy them. I have made a decision though to get many of them out of the house before we put it up for sale and into the garage... and have every intention of taking them to TN and store them until the farmhouse is built. You are right, we can't take it with us but I do believe that we should be able to enjoy them as long as we are able!

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    1. Thank you for that encouragement. I guess I do need to consider moving things out now, but when it has already been 9 months of trying to sell the house, I hate to think of having to store things for that long. We don't have a garage here, nor any extra space in any bedrooms, and I really didn't want to deal with boxes sitting around either. So, we shall see what will happen here soon. Praying for you as you build your dream home. I know it will be wonderful. So happy for you. Take pictures of your things now so you can share them and also remember how they looked before you moved. I would have loved to have you for a twin, but not separated at birth!! LOL. Have a blessed day!!

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  3. Pam, you know exactly what you need to do. If you watch HGTV at all, you know that purging the home for sale of personal items is key. The potential buyers need to see how big the rooms are and be able to picture their things in the rooms. If your kids don't want the heirlooms, you need to think about selling them.

    I was also the keeper of family items and the younger generation had no interest. I found an antique dealer who came to our home and made us an offer on nearly everything we wanted to part with. Have I missed some of the pieces? A little, but I am not sorry to have sent them on to others who will care for them and appreciate them. We made a nice little bit of money, which also helped.

    The place we called was The Barn Antiques http://www.barnantiques.biz/ in Lake Alfred, though there are probably places like that up your way. Renniger's Antiques https://renningers.net/ might be closer. It is not easy but it really does feel good once the things are gone. Seriously. It makes you feel lighter. The memories live in our hearts, not in the items. Take pictures of them! Facebook Marketplace is also a good place to advertise things for sale of lesser value. I wish I lived closer and could come up and help a few afternoons. I've been to your house and I love your home and all those lovely things. It won't be easy to let go.

    Perhaps someone might be interested in opening a B&B at your place? Another way to market it?

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    1. Yes, I know what I NEED to do, but I'm having a hard time getting started. If I had someone who could be more objective about it who could help me get organized and moving in that direction, it would be a big help. But when I try to figure it out I don't know where to begin. Interesting you mentioned the B&B idea. My realtor was saying the same thing yesterday, and Air B&B. But someone would have to be right here to manage it. It would make a good one, however, with the right marketing and management. If I were younger and more energetic, I would have loved doing that...but not now. It's all I can do to clean up after us, let alone strangers... But it is a great idea!!! Thank you.

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  4. Oh Pamela, I totally get what you are saying as my house is full of things that if we were to put our house up for sale would take a ton of work to get out of here. There is no place for us to put boxed up things and I wouldn't want to store stuff somewhere only to have to move it again. I feel for you and it keeps me away some nights because of the magnitude. It isn't something I want our kids to have to deal with, but Jay isn't of the mindset to do anything, especially get rid of things because he says they aren't hurting anything. eyeroll! I pray that someone will come along at the right time, it and you are in God's hands and you know all that! Just wanting to hug you and comfort, but I'm not there. One of my old friends had a business that actually came in and helped you sort through and make those decisions about what to throw away, give away, etc. to downsize. However, they do charge for their services. I would think there might be a service like that somewhere for you. Hers, I think, was Smooth Transitions or something similar to that name.

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    1. Just read the other commenters … should have done that first. Good ideas.

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    2. I like the idea of a person who knows how to sort through and make those decisions. I may have to check into that in this area. I know, they will get a percentage or whatever...it's like having a "living estate sale". But that would make it so much simpler for me. Thank you for those thoughts. I'm glad I'm not alone in these issues.

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  5. At our family reunion one year we had a stitching/blanket thing a great-aunt had started but never finished. Someone decided to auction it off to raise money for the next year's reunion. Everyone started bidding and it got to $100. My aunt turned to someone else and said, "She would think we had all lost our minds!" 😂

    These things matter to us, that's why it's hard to let go. But...well...best thing to do, in all things, is pray. You never know who God has in mind for our treasures.

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    1. I like your idea...pray..."you never know who God has in mind for our treasures." I love that. Thank you. That's the best advice so far, although I appreciate EVERYONE's words of advice, truly I do. I am just overwhelmed, and you have made it simple...PRAY. Thank you. I feel so much better now.

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  6. Oh! I wish I lived closer to come and help you. I have helped several people do that over the years-including one this summer. She went from a four bedroom house to a two bedroom apartment. She saved some things that had precious memories to her but let other 'family' stuff go. She, too, was the recipient of heirlooms and hand-me-downs. As a suggestion we started getting rid of the 'smalls' first. Extra dishes that had no real meaning and old floral arrangements and pictures that she had enjoyed for years but didn't really even 'see' anymore. It got easier day-by-day. We were able to donate a ton of stuff to those that needed it and sell things so that someone else could rehome and love them.
    Good luck- it is a daunting task, I know. Hugs-Diana

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    1. Oh Diana...you sound like just the person I need. Are you sure you don't see a trip to Florida in your near future? I have a spare bedroom where you could stay. We'd have so much fun. But seriously, the suggestions you made here make sense to me and that is kind of how I have been thinking it...just haven't gotten to the "doing it" part yet. But I am getting motivated. This is helping. Thank you!!

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  8. Wow Pamela, as wonderful as your home and belongings are, it's true that professional staging would be the way to go. But, I do understand about putting so much of your belongings in storage. I remember how it was hard for me to leave so many of my memories, collections, etc., belongings behind. Praying you will be able to sell your home soon. Have a blessed day ahead dear friend.

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  9. This is quite the dilemma for you, Pamela, as you are the keeper of the gate for family heirlooms. So hard to let go of any of it! However, here's an idea: Take a small portion of the house at a time, sorting things you want to keep and things that could be placed in an estate sale. I know you hate the idea of storing anything, but at least, this way, you wouldn't have to pack up every single item and transfer it to a new house. You'd already be more stream-lined.
    However you decide to tackle the issue, I wish you all the best!
    Blessings!

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  10. I have moved 30 times
    Each time getting rid of more
    When I sold the house I donated three bedrooms to a lady raising her grandchildren
    Gave some family antiques to my kids and grands
    This last move was from house to an apartment
    I had 20 boxes of Christmas-now have two
    Gave to my kids and some close friends!! Collections of Santas and snowmen and Precious Moments
    Friends thrilled also!!
    I have a tiny apartment so most had to go but if you are going into a house take what you will use!
    A few special momentoes and the rest donate to those who need it or who will just appreciate having a part of you
    The memories go with you-things are not needed
    Now I don't suggest you become the minimalist I have become-but cutting down on things is quite freeing!!!! More time for family and friends and hobbies and church! Good luck
    I never used professional staging-did it myself always! It works and works quickly
    Suggested to another friend and she sold her home quickly
    When realtor suggested it she was at a loss

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  11. I feel your pain! I seriously downsized on our move from Mississippi! Put all I wanted and thought I could not live without in one or two rooms. Put the things I was uncertain whether I could live without in another room "maybes". And called an auction house to pick up the remainder. They priced the maybes and truthfully a lot of those went as well. I was getting rid of things from my grandmother, mother, aunts, Ms Nellie as well as my own. All things I offered to my children which they mostly refused. They pick things which were important to them. Of course I kept a small amount of memorabilia from each relative. Then I had to do it again when we moved to our cabin. Got to say.....best thing I ever did! I can clean in 45-hour and I can donate my time elsewhere. Knowing my children had no interest made it easier! Going through the belongings of a love one you lose is a nightmare. I did not want my kids to be responsible for that! And as far as home sales. A buyer has to be able to imagine their own belongings in a house. Too much stuff already there hinders that! Hope this helps. The room method will however it turns your house upside down for as long as you choose to drag it out! I shall be in pray for you��

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    1. Thank you, Joy. I know you did this big time when you made your moves. I wish you'd come help me...I know you could give me the right advice, having been through it with similar family issues...

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  12. When we made the big move from Alabama to here (western NY) we had accumulated 21 years of stuff--including a lawncare business....let me tell you, letting go became a game (and not mention what stuff got thrown into the burn pile). Then the EF5 tornado hit--the good Lord kinda' took care of that...anyways---where I am going with this?(who knows, grin)---letting go...its pretty hard to do...sigh...been there and done that...We were actually just looking around last night and hubby goes, "Umm, Linda...if we decide to move or buy a house--we might need to hire folks." Yeah, its gotten that bad--6 yrs of living here and starting over. It is what it is. sigh.

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  13. I am so late reading blogs, but this has resonated with me. We inherited my husband's parents' home back in 2003, so yes, I am the keeper of the family heirlooms that no one wants. I am by nature such a sentimental person, so I have trouble getting rid of stuff too. I think I really have scaled it back by tons. Not easy, but I have. I have over time gone through and gotten rid of a little bit each year. I love going to our second home because it has less. I will never be a minimalist in an all white home, but I do love the less when we go to the Auburn house. I feel your pain because no one wants the stuff. I have some pink Shakepeare Wedgewood plates from my m-i-l sitting in a drawer. My daughter will say maybe I want them one day, but I know she doesn't want them anymore that I do. I tried to put them on eBay, but they didn't sell. I got an offer that wasn't worth the packaging to send them:) Might as well just donate to Goodwill then a dealer can buy them there. I donated her Cabbage Patch dolls right away that she loved, but I don't and I knew none of the kids would. I go between sad and sighing at what to do all the time. It has certainly made me buy a ton less in the last 5 years or so. I simply don't buy much and have made the kids promise not to buy me anything for presents that I have to find a place for:) Good luck indeed!!!
    I do think it helps to sell it for it to be staged. We were trying to sell a piece of farmland in Walton County. IT has a manufactured home on it and I went up one week and moved a whole bunch of stuff around and hung some cute curtains and suddenly everyone who went in the house saw the potential of it, BUT all that said it is a location just like you are talking about. It will take a local to want it. After almost two years we have found that person. They are working through a loan now, but hope is on the horizon. Just keep praying for wisdom.

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