Original Post 1/16/2011:
I do hope to get back to some kind of "normal" someday...I guess I just need to adjust to our "new normal"...and I am very thankful for what God is doing here...but I still need His wisdom and grace each day...
This was going to be my status statement on my facebook page today, but then I thought perhaps it might need too many explanations, so I decided to move it over to my blog instead. For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, here goes...
A couple of weeks before Christmas my 87 year old mother in law came to live with us. Now, don't get me wrong...I dearly love my mother in law...she is a beautiful and wonderful person... and we have always had a great relationship...one that has spanned over 41 years! We have been through a lot of trials and joys together. She has been a strong support for our family during times of illness and trauma. She was there for me following my two major surgeries...caring for my personal needs as well as the needs of my home and family when I was unable to get up on my own. She also came to stay with us many years ago when our son Matthew was undergoing surgery for a brain tumor, and I don't know what I would have done without her help during those very difficult and uncertain days. She has helped us pack and move more times than I care to remember...and was there helping with the unpacking and resettling as well. When our children were very small she and my father in law came almost every Sunday afternoon with a car load of groceries to help us through some difficult times. When my husband felt the call to prepare for the ministry, and our plans got turned upside down because our 18 month old son was hit by a car and we had to make some quick decisions about employment and housing, it was my in-laws' support that carried us through the remainder of that very difficult school year so that we didn't have to drop out of school prematurely.
The list could go on an on...and actually this has been a very good exercise for me to pause and remember just how much genuine unselfish love this dear lady has showered on our family throughout the years. It actually is helping me to put things in perspective...
Yes, we are experiencing some major adjustments with these changes that are happening in our home presently...but how could I allow it to be any other way? How could I not open my home to this dear one who has sacrificed so much for me and mine throughout the years? That's what family is all about...when things get difficult for one or the other...we do whatever we need to do to help the one in need.
My mother in law truly exemplifies the "sheep" in the above passage...she has literally fulfilled all of the examples given in verses 35-36 in caring for our family so completely throughout the years. I have no doubt that God, the Great King, will one day say to her, "Vivian, come you blessed of My Father and inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world." And, knowing my dear humble mother in law, she will respond with awe and amazement, "Lord, when did I do any of those things you mentioned?" and He will tell her, "When you so lovingly cared for your children and grandchildren, and for your own husband and mother and father and sisters (and her own mother and father in law as well)...when you always put others ahead of yourself...and when you loved your daughter-in-law like your very own daughter...even when she was not always as grateful as she should have been and was too proud and selfish to understand how much you truly cared... Yes, Vivian, assuredly I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me."
Yes, our family is experiencing a new kind of normal these days...we have added the laughter and sweetness of my mother in law to our home. And even though she is going through some major adjustments in her own mind and heart and body, she continues to try to do her very best to care for the rest of us at the same time. We are blessed by her presence, for however long God allows her to stay...and we know that He will give us the grace and wisdom we need each day.
Thank you, Father, for this lesson today. It has helped me to recognize exactly what You intended all along. Amen.
This was our son Benton and my mother in law on "Nanny Steiner's" 87th birthday in July last year. She loved hearing us sing "Happy Birthday" to her! Such a great lady!!! |
Postscript 8/19/18: I know this gracious woman is rejoicing in the Presence of Jesus today...and enjoying all the joys and beauties of her heavenly home. And we will see her again someday...thanks to Calvary!!
This is a beautiful tribute to your MIL. I too am living in a new "normal" and I only hope I can enter it as gracefully as you are.
ReplyDeleteWhat a good and gracious lady she was; your post from 2011 captured how much she did to care for you. Yes it is a new normal for you but you are assured she is in the arms of Jesus.
ReplyDeleteYes, and this is a great comfort to us today. Thank you, Terra, for your visit. It is good to hear from you. Have a blessed and wonderful day.
DeleteI find it so ironic that my MIL came to live with us at age 87, too. Oh, Miss Vivian was such a beautiful, caring, loving woman, Pamela, and I can tell by your words how much you loved her. I'm absolutely certain she heard Jesus say, "Well, done, good and faithful servant."
ReplyDeleteMay God continue to fill you all with His comfort, mercy and grace.
Blessings!
Thank you, Martha. I pray that God is helping you with your "new normal" in life...I know what you are going through and I do pray that God will fill YOU with His comfort, mercy and grace in all the days ahead. There will be days that you wonder, "Why me, Lord?" and then days that you will say, "Why not me, Lord". God is with you and your precious "mothers". Bathe each day in prayer, and God will get you through it with laughter and joy.
DeletePam, this is such a beautiful post highlighting Vivian's amazing legacy. Yes, we know where she is and we know we will all be reunited with loved ones some day. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Terri. The more I think about her, the more I realize what an amazing person she truly was. I may just have to write that book yet. It will be filled with laughter and fun, but laced with God's truth and grace. I may just have to do that...Yes, we will see her again someday. For now, she is dancing in the halls of heaven and having a great time!
DeleteBeautiful post! Your in-laws truly helped your family get through some big challenges!
ReplyDeleteAs for my 'new normal', Beloved and I are very happy living here in FL but we still encounter differences that require our patience and wisdom.
Yes, our in-laws were God's blessing to us in so many ways. Sometimes we have to sit back and look at our lives through God's looking glass to see the true picture that we may have missed while living it. Yes, moving to Florida from Colorado would have its challenges...but it appears that you are relishing the changes in location and taking full advantage of all that Florida has to offer. You are a blessing to us here as well!!!
DeleteBeaujtiful, Pam. Your mother in law was a treasure and what a blessing you changed your "normal" and your life for her. I will be praying for you as you adjust to this new normal.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Melanie. I know you have been going through some major life changes and experiencing a "new normal" for the past year +. I love that I can hear through your writing that you are starting to adjust and accept your new home/changes more now. God is giving you grace and peace and comfort...just as we asked Him to. Thank you for continuing to be a special friend. God bless you.
DeleteMaybe every day is a new normal as it isn't the day before. Sometimes that is good, sometimes hard, but always new and always different in some way or other.
ReplyDeleteI hope you adjust to the new normal with comfort and love.
That can certainly be true, Annie. Each new day brings new adventures and challenges that could change our total way of life. The good part is that God gives us the grace to accept those challenges and move forward, trusting in Him to safely lead us home. We will be fine...it just takes some "adjusting". Have a blessed and beautiful day.
DeleteI am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful post and tribute to your mother-in-law. It's also a great reminder that life can change quickly, but Jesus never changes. Thank you for reminding me to take care of the ones I love, even when it puts me out to do it. I was just working on some billing files for my sister early this morning and this reminds me to be thankful that I can still do these things, when I know in my heart she wishes she could do them for herself. What a privilege it really is to be able to help her.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Cathy. Yes, life does change quickly, in the blink of an eye...but you are so right, Jesus NEVER changes! He is ALWAYS there for us no matter what this old world throws at us! Yes, there were many times I was not quite as charitable toward my MIL as her care grew more difficult over the years, but then God would take me back to this and remind me of what all she had done for me...and how much she loved us and that her sometimes irritability toward us was really because she could no longer be in control of her own life, and she did not like being dependent on her family. I am thankful for the years we had together, and also for the ways that God allowed us to bless each other...because that is what it was... My heart goes out to you as you do special things for your sister. Treasure those moments and your sister while you can.
DeleteBesides being in your cloud of witnesses, she's sitting at the feet of Jesus and telling Him how much each of you mean to her. She's also listening to Him.
ReplyDeleteOh, Cecelia, thank you for that thought. I know she is having such a blessed and glorious time there...and to think that it goes on for eternity! I'm so happy for her! "I can only imagine"...
DeleteI like how you used a 6 and 1 candle with your 8. You did not have a 7? :-) haha! I have done that too.
ReplyDeleteWhat a blessing it is to care for someone.
Speaking of blessings... Your blog is going to be such a goldmine of memories for your family one day, a treasure greater than leaving all the riches in the world.
Have a blessed day, Pamela!
Oh, so you noticed my creative candle numbering! Yes...we do that a lot around here! We also recycle these candles as long as they still have a wick in them...lol. Frugal candle people here...but we have fun celebrating the lives of our dear ones while they are alive and with us...and now we celebrate their memory when they are gone. Thank you for your kind thoughts always. I've been thinking about compiling all the things written about her over the years into a little book of remembrance, because I fear that this blog will one day disappear and no one will ever see it again...and the older I get, the more I need written pages to jog my memory.
DeleteI pray your day is blessed as well, sweet friend Sandi.
Over two years later and here I am again, reading this wonderful tribute to your MIL. Ok, funny, I just noticed the candles again. 8...6...1...and I was going to mention it. I noticed my comment above and hahahaha....I almost made the exact same comment again.
DeleteI hope you are having a wonderful Saturday after Thanksgiving!
What a beautiful tribute to your mother-in-love Pamela. And knowing she is with Our Lord is a true blessing. Have a "new normal" day of blessings.
ReplyDeleteDearest Pam,
ReplyDeleteI think back to last autumn when my mother passed away and how you left me such comforting comments. They meant the world to me. I understand that your family is now trying to find your new normal after the passing of Nanny. There is so much to take in even when we know our loved ones are with the God of all comfort. I've been praying for you and your husband and the rest of the family. May God help you through each day. xx