Have YOU ever had "snickerdoodles"? They are a family favorite! (Click on the link to get to the recipe in the page entitled, "It's Recipe Thyme--My Mother's Recipes!")
|Blow out those candles, Nanny! May All your dreams and wishes come true!|
My 92 yr old mother in law with dementia is using psychology on me. I'm sitting here playing on the computer. I had put a load of wash in the washer about an hour ago, including some of her personal items. I've been rather engrossed in what I am doing here (so important! LOL), and frankly, I had forgotten about the load of wash in the washer. My MIL says to me so "innocently", "Does your washer automatically load the clothes in the dryer by itself, or do you have to go do it yourself?" Me, still forgetting that I even had clothes in the washer, look at her incredulously, and ask, "Now Mother, what do YOU think?, Have you ever heard of a washing machine that could automatically load the clothes into a dryer by itself?" She smiled at me so sweetly, and said, "Well, I just wondered if they could do that by themselves." Suddenly a light dawned in my head, and I said, "Oh! Are you trying to remind me that I need to go put the clothes in the dryer? Why didn't you say so?" She just smiled and said, "Well, I guess I was just hinting." LOL. Sometimes I wonder who has the dementia around here...
To be honest with you, I believe that when she originally said what she said about the washer loading automatically into the dryer, she really was serious about that question. She had been sitting there thinking about that and wondering, like a child would try to figure things out. When I responded with my remark back to her, I believe it embarrassed her, and I realized it as soon as it came out of my mouth, and she also realized at that moment how crazy that idea was, and she looked a little surprised at first, but then recovered with her response about giving me a hint. One thing I am trying to learn as I deal with my MIL in this stage of her life...don't embarrass, belittle, or make her feel stupid. She doesn't deserve that regardless of how outlandish we may think her remarks or thoughts are. We need to treat her with love and respect and patience, just like we would with a young child who is still learning and exploring his/her world. I share these "conversations" with you because it gives us a window into the world of dementia and how it affects our families and loved ones. Every person's experience will be different and unique...dementia takes on many forms in the elderly...and we, as the caregivers, need to try to remain calm, loving, and reassuring as we deal with ones who may be quite exasperating and frustrating at times. Sometimes it helps to sit back and laugh so we don't take things so seriously.
Yes, my MIL is a very special person in my life as well...that's why I'm trying to work through these changes we see in her by looking at her through different eyes...realizing that she's still that wonderful person we love, just needing some extra special love and attention right now. It is difficult for us to accept the fact that she is really changing like this and that she cannot help some of the things she does and says...even when they are hurtful and hard to accept.
This is my sweet Mother in Law, Vivian, a.ka. "Nanny", in her jammies, listening to old recordings of her family singing hymns together, and even one of her playing the piano briefly for the family singalong. Precious memories. We had a great time remembering loved ones now singing in the heavenly choir of heaven
Friday evening, sitting on the porch with Nanny, having a dish of ice cream and watching for the hummingbirds
Baking Peanut Butter Cookies together. She has the "fork criss-cross" down pat!
Nanny, enjoying her peanut butter cookies and a dish of ice-cream! She could hardly wait to finish supper so she could have a cookie w/ice cream! Some simple pleasures in life should never change.
|Nanny with our family, helping us celebrate our 46th wedding anniversary...|
|Our son, laughing at what we just discovered hanging from the back of Nanny's pants...you can guess...quite a lovely "train" to her outfit... LOL —|
|We are all dying laughing here as we discovered what she brought with her from the, welll, you know where...it was long and white.....(thank goodness)|
We are still in hysterics while our other son just keeps snapping our picture...
|Okay, trying to calm down here and be sensible...I love our family|