A Quick Check In

Wanted to check in with you all and let you know that I am still "alive and well"...just trying to get caught up from our busy weekend, and also taking care of things this week concerning my mother in law.  As of this moment, she is still hanging in there...and perhaps has had what is known as a "rally" day today...where she perked up, sat up, recognized everyone, and was totally opposite the way she has been for the past week.  She is still not eating or drinking, and we know that her time of "departure" is near, but if you saw her today you would think she'd had a total reversal of her health for the better.

Because I felt like her behavior today was so atypical from how she has been for the past week, I looked up the following information and discovered that what we were observing was most likely  what is being described in this article:   https://www.agingcare.com/articles/when-loved-ones-rally-before-death-185452.htm    Time will tell, but I guess I am preparing myself for the inevitable, and feel that it will be sooner than later. Thank you for your prayers for our family as we walk through the "valley of the shadow of death."  We know that our Great Shepherd is with us, and He truly gives us His "rod and staff" to comfort us.  (Psalm 23)

I know many of you are wondering about our big weekend trip that we just took. If you are a Facebook friend, you've already seen a few photos from our journey.  I will try not to bombard you with too much at once, but will break it up into several different posts as I can.  You can bet that my camera was kept in action all weekend long.  My cousin even said to me, "You should have plenty of pictures for several weeks of Friday Foto Friends".  I was surprised that she actually was paying attention to that...and that made me feel good to know. Thank you, cousin Becky!!!

For tonight I think I will just concentrate on some pretty scenery photos from our trip rather than family/people/or too many details.  Eventually you'll get the full scoop...probably more than you even want to know!!

 "The Lord is my shepherd,

I shall not want.

He makes me to lie down in green pastures;

He leads me beside the still waters.

He restores my soul

He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

Two of my lovely nieces as we walked to the creek on the family property

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil;

For You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;

You anoint my head with oil;

My cup runs over.

 

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me

All the days of my life;

Toccoa Falls, Georgia

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever."

Psalm 23

Photos are from our walk in the woods at my niece's home/property in North Carolina,  as well as several photos from our journey to Toccoa Falls, Georgia.

I will be back in touch with you as I can this week.  Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers. I am so thankful for such friends....

A Vintage Moment

This is the post I really wanted to post today for Friday Foto Friends, but I couldn't get it together in time, and also those bears just wanted to steal the show!

Anyway, this past week we did something kind of special in a bittersweet kind of way.  I know many of you are aware that several months ago we had to place my sweet Mother in law in a nursing home after years of sharing her care-giving back and forth (Click HERE for more about her story) between my husband's brother & family and us.  The good news is she loves it there and is doing so much better than we ever dreamed could be possible...and that has been a real positive answer to a very difficult dilemma.   But now we are faced with what to do about her home and the furnishings that are still there.  We can't sell the house yet because of legalities, but we don't want to leave all of her things there for others to break in and steal or in some other way vandalize.  So the decision has been made to start cleaning things out and taking the things that are valuable in any way...(sentimental or otherwise), and then we will donate what's left to a local charity.

So, this week we met our brother in law there and we made some decisions about what was being kept, and what would have to "go".  Consequently we came home with a truck load of some furnishings and other "vintage" items that were sentimental.

The "vintage" items are the things that I loved the most, and I thought you would enjoy seeing a few of them.

First of all, I have a soft spot in my heart for vintage linens of any kind, but especially some that were embroidered or hand made in any way.  And most especially if I know who did the needlework...then that makes it ultra special, no matter what the condition.

My husband's grandmother used to embroider pillowcases, tablecloths, table doilies and other special items.  Way back when we cleaned out HER house after her death, I received a lot of things that she had made...but not all of them.  Apparently my mother in law had saved back some special ones to keep herself...and these are some of what we found.  I split up some of the items to give to my sister in law so she will have some for her family as well.

I just love these pillow cases.  Thankfully this matched pair was in pretty good shape and still functional...

This lovely table runner for a dressing table or chest of drawers top has this sweet little girl with her poodle design on both ends.  Sadly, the other end is badly stained, and I am studying on ways to clean it without damaging the fragile fibers and threads. Any suggestions out there are very welcome!

There was only one of this designed pillowcase...but it is also so lovely and in great shape.

This is another table runner that has several bad stains...so I will need to gently clean it if I can...

This is one of two monogrammed pillow cases...PM stood for Pearl Martin, who was my husband's grandmother (His mother's mother).  I wanted this because my original initials were also PM for my maiden name...and when I got married, I kept my maiden last name as my middle name and added Steiner, which made my initials PMS.  There have been many fun conversations over that!

Here is another pair of embroidered pillow cases...the lace edge is a little torn in places, but otherwise they aren't in too bad of shape.  I just love the colors!

Now here's a real beauty! This is actually a flower vase!  These styles of vases were very popular back in the 50's...and this one is so beautiful...I just couldn't resist her! She actually reminds me of my mother in law, who was a beautician and always kept her hair so lovely!

Here's a picture of my mother in law and my father in law, back when they were newlyweds.  They were a very handsome couple.

Something else we brought home was this vintage bed, which originally belonged to my husband's father's family...and is the only piece of furniture we have that came from the Steiner side of the family.  It is a full size bed with a headboard and footboard...probably dates circa 1930's or thereabouts....

I love that I can finally use this vintage sheet (Click HERE for more about this sheet!) that I got some time ago and didn't have a full size bed to use it on...

And I also have a place to use these wonderful pillowcases (for special guests!)

And we also got this lovely quilted bedspread that came with the bed, which originally belonged to my husband's Aunt Nelly. (It's not an antique quilt, but just very pretty and perfect for this bed)

I had to wash it and hang it on the line to dry first...and thankfully the chickadees have moved out of the birdhouse beside the clothesline, so no birdies did anything to laundry while it was hanging there...

And of course, this lovely vintage bed needed a doll...so I pulled this sweet little "Brush Arbor" doll out of a dresser drawer and thought she looked just right on this bed...at least for now... I may change dolls periodically depending upon my mood...

Here is the information about this doll, which was given to me as a gift many years ago by my brother in law.

So, I think it is fitting to end this post with a picture of my sweet mother in law and my hubby, on one of our recent visits to the nursing home. She has been learning to paint and color and play Bingo, along with making new friends there.

Proverbs 31:28-31

28.  Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
29. “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30. Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31. Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.

I probably could save this post for Mother's Day, but since that is coming up soon, this will help set the tone for that celebration!

Have a blessed and happy weekend my friends!!

Seeing One Another Through - Friday Foto Friends

In my last post A-little-nervous-energy and-it-isnt-even spring yet, I mentioned that I was preparing for a ladies' gathering at my home this week.  Well, today (writing this on Thursday) was the day...and what a glorious day it was! Nine beautiful ladies (and one charming little granddaughter with her grandmother) came together for a "Tea-Brunch", a time to "honor  and encourage our Pastor's Wives and Friends " with a time of fellowship and prayer....

This was an idea born out of a desire to bring together the pastor's wives and friends from our local community churches, sponsored by our home Bible fellowship.  We live in a small town with only a few churches, and it seems as though we all have a tendency to stay within our own little groups and not mix with those from the other churches, and to me that just seems a real shame.  We are all here for the same purpose, serving the same Lord and sharing the love of Christ with those we meet wherever we go.  So, this was an effort to bring the ladies together for a time of getting acquainted, sharing our burdens with one another and lifting each other up in prayer.  We found out that we were a very congenial and caring group...and it is our hope that we will continue to meet like this on a regular basis in the future.

The picture above of the verse and quote is from a little daily devotional calendar that I have had for years, sitting on a shelf, and occasionally remembering to turn the pages for each day.  When I was dusting the furniture in preparation for this gathering, I thought perhaps I should flip the pages over to the scheduled day of the brunch, and was so surprised to see what was written there...and it was as if God was saying, "Here is My message for the ladies...this is what I want you to share with them..."
and so it became the theme for our time together...bearing one another's burdens...seeing one another through...perfect!  Isn't God amazing? He always comes through if we just take the time to notice.

This was an especially poignant time for me, as while we were gathered together for prayer and fellowship, my husband was meeting his brother at the nursing home where their mother (my mother in law) was being admitted for long term care.  I had a feeling that it would all collide on the same day, but God knew beforehand that this would be the best way to handle it.  These ladies were able to show me the support and love that I needed, as well as praying for my mother in law and family during a difficult transition.  And the good news is, the facility where she is now living is in the nearest city to us, so it will not be difficult for us to visit her often. That is a wonderful answer to prayer!

Okay, so this is my offering for the weekly "Friday Foto Friends"...when you are finished reading here CLICK HERE to skip over to Deb's place at  "Breathing in Grace" and see what others are sharing.  Here are a few more pictures from our event...and also some of the table settings before the ladies arrived. It truly was a lovely time...and next time the girls said they want to meet in "The Secret Garden", which hopefully will be ready soon!  (It really isn't a secret at all, is it?!)


Here are the "Before" pictures:

"An Invitation to Tea" was sent out to all the ladies

Love these beautiful camellias...









And here are the "After pictures"....love these beautiful ladies:

Our menu included a spinach, bacon, cheese, egg brunch casserole, a ham and cheese quiche, a delightful berry fruit cup topped with an almond cream sauce, delicious "Grandma's Coffee Cake" and Applesauce Muffins....and any kind of tea you could want...and of course coffee for those who prefer it.

In addition to eating, talking and praying, one of our lovely ladies (above on the right side of the table) blessed us with a beautiful solo of "In The Garden", which left us each desiring to have that peaceful time of walking and talking with the Lord in the garden "while the dew is still on the roses".
A delightful time was had by all...and we look forward to future times of "Seeing One Another Through".

Just Trying to Catch Up

Dear Friends, Here it is Sunday  Tuesday afternoon, and I haven't been in touch with you for a couple of  several days.  I know many may be wondering about my mother in law.  She is still in the hospital, and is very confused and somewhat angry.  We aren't sure what day she will be transferred to rehab, or where she will go...so we are taking it one day at a time and praying for the very best outcome.  UPDATE SINCE I STARTED THIS ON SUNDAY:  She is still in the hospital, and as of this moment it is still up in the air where she will be going.  There is a snafu with medicare and medicaid, and some things are having to be worked out.  Meanwhile we are still trying to work out a lot of details before she can be moved....so stay tuned.

I find myself relieved and yet somewhat sad.  We have been keeping "Nanny" at our home on the
weekends (Friday-Monday morning) for over three years, and off and on before that.  My husband's brother and family have had her the other part of the week.  So our lives have pretty much been determined by when "Nanny" is here or when she is not.



She is a big part of the reason that we started having a home Bible study in our home on Sundays instead of attending a regular church.





 That, in itself, was a big adjustment to our lives, but God has blessed that special time with good friends, fellowship, and much growth in Christ together. We are still meeting this way, just a small group, but we believe this is the way the Lord would have us continue for now.



So, the last few days I have been little by little returning things back to a "pre-Nanny" state in our house...little things like cleaning her room and washing the bed linens, putting away her special cups that she used...odds and ends that we have used to accommodate her particular needs...and I find myself missing her smiles and the funny things she'd say...sometimes not making a whole lot of sense to everyone else, but important to her...

Yes, it is a lot like grieving...even though she is still very much alive...she is most likely never coming back to our house...and after being my mother in law for over 47 years, I find that very sad.  Since my own mother passed away about 11 years ago, "Nanny" has been a mother to me in many ways.  She has been a wonderful grandmother to our sons and has always been a big part of their lives...so they are missing her as well.  My hubby has very mixed emotions right now...feelings of guilt, sorrow, and perhaps even some anxiety over the whole situation.  That, plus the fact that she is now over 2 hours drive away from us adds another level of frustration as we deal with how often can we or should we go to visit her...and how long is long enough to stay when we do...it's not an easy situation for us.  In some ways it is easier to have her here than it is to travel to see her when she doesn't really seem to understand where she is or why she is there and she just "wants to go home".

So, I appreciate your thoughts and prayers as we go through this time of transition with her.  I know many of you have already been there with your loved ones...some may even be going through this now at the same time...and you can totally empathize with my concerns and feelings.

Live Joyfully in the Midst of Struggles

This is what I read in Sarah Young's "Jesus Today" today.... #116

"I am calling you to live joyfully in the midst of your struggles.

You yearn for a freer, more independent way of life than you're currently experiencing.

You pray fervently--and then wait hopefully for the changes you desire.

When I don't answer your prayers according to your will, you sometimes get discouraged.

It's easy for you to feel as if you're doing something wrong--

as if you're missing out on what is best for you.  

When you think that way, you are forgetting a most important truth:

That I am Sovereign.

I am in control, and

I am taking care of you."

This past weekend was very stressful for us.  As most of you know, we take care of my 93 year old mother in law on the weekends, and she is getting progressively more fragile, dependent and extremely needy.  My time is consumed with caring for her needs, and by the end of the weekend I am pretty well exhausted.  I was so much so this past weekend that I am still feeling the effects on my body and in my spirit.  Those of you who have cared for elderly loved ones can relate.  Our whole family is affected by this in a negative way, and we know that some changes are going to have to be made soon.  But we are reluctant to take those steps, and I find myself praying that God will intervene for her and on our behalf...and be merciful for His children's sake. I know God understands my heart in this, and I don't believe He thinks badly of me for having these feelings.  But He wants me to trust Him to do what is best for all concerned.

This is part of the reason I believe I was directed to choose the word "REST" for my "One Word" for 2017.  Not only is it for a spiritual resting in Christ, but also for a physical rest...which actually coincides with the spiritual.  Because when our physical bodies need rest, our spirit usually needs rest as well.  

Today I was uplifted and blessed to be a part of our monthly gathering of our "Lovely Ladies of the Lord" group.   After we meet for a time of prayer, Bible study and sharing our concerns and joys, we usually continue our fellowship at a local restaurant for lunch...

I know the Lord planned this gathering for this week, because I truly needed this time of respite and joy in the midst of my struggles.  These ladies always give me a blessing just by their words of love and comfort and prayer. We are there for each other...and I am humbled by the true beautiful hearts of these dear women of the Lord.  We all learn so much just from sharing our burdens and cares...and laying them at the feet of Jesus. 

I have come away from this meeting today with my burdens lifted, knowing that, 

Yes, God IS sovereign, and yes, God IS in control, 

and most definitely God IS taking care of me!

And I can live joyfully in the midst of struggles!

"Oh, give thanks to the Lord,

for He is good!

For His mercy endures forever!"

Psalm 118:1

Amen.

Friday Foto Friends...Unexpected Little Things That May Be the Bigger Things!

So, today is Friday Foto Friends again (Click HERE for the link to our friends)...where we share our favorite photos from the recent past or maybe even from a long time ago...but either way...it is a fun way to connect with friends and give each other a glimpse into our homes or lives.

A little over a week ago I told you about our search for the "perfect Christmas tree"...and how I believe God led us to find it...(Click here for that story)....but you never got to see the finished product (unless you happen to be one of my Facebook friends).   So here are some pictures our "Charlie Brown Florida Cracker Christmas Tree"...(Click HERE for more about THAT story!)

Here's a few pictures of the events leading up to this finished product:

My sons are bringing in this monster tree, and trying to determine if it is even going to fit in our house! We did end up cutting more off of the top so it could stand up straight...

Okay, it is standing...

and thankfully my son helped put on the lights as I was sick with a cold and just couldn't manage it; And besides...this tree is huge...

 My 93 year old mother in law supervised the whole proceeding...telling us which way to turn it and what branches needed to be lopped off...She was really enjoying this whole process...which was quite a surprise to me because she usually doesn't get this enthusiastic about so much activity going on disrupting her routine and being displaced from HER chair (she's sitting in MY chair here).  I truly had hoped to have had this all done before she came for the weekend because I knew it was going to be challenging for us with all of the mess and fuss and taking care of her issues as well...(don't be deceived by that beautiful smiling face...there are issues!)  But it appeared as though this was exactly what the doctor ordered for her. She truly seemed to enjoy all of the festivity of  the boys setting up the tree and then watching as I decorated it.  She liked hearing me tell about each ornament, where it came from, etc.  It seemed to unlock the child in her and she became more animated and joyful as the day went on.  That was a gift to me...and a relief from some of the stress I had anticipated.

So here is the finished product...you can see some of the lopsided branches of our "Charlie Brown Florida Cracker Christmas Tree".  This type of sand pine has very weak branches, and many of the ornaments are too heavy, so they had to be hung on the main bigger branches closer to the center of the tree....

 So, now that it is up, we are enjoying it every day.  It may be lacking in perfect shape and style, but it is perfect in the truer sense that it has been a family adventure that has seemed to delight everyone, from the youngest to the oldest...perhaps especially the oldest!  And that makes me feel good inside.  It was worth all the effort to see my mother in law truly enjoying this special time with her family. We don't know how many more Christmases we may have her with us...and judging by the way a lot of things are "breaking down" in her body from week to week, we realize that this could very well be her last Christmas with us...at least being able to be in our home and participate with the family in a meaningful way.  So we treasure these times together and thank the Lord that He has allowed us this special time.

So, what about you? Have there been any unexpected special moments that have surprised you as you have gone about your Christmas preparations? Perhaps we need to pause in the midst of our busyness and take a moment to recognize the hand of God working in the "little things" that may be truly the "bigger things" that matter most.

Christ's birth might have seemed a "little thing" ...just a baby boy being born in a manger to couple of ordinary people...a carpenter and a young woman...certainly it was unexpected that the Messiah would come to earth that way...but oh wow!!! That baby was no ordinary child...He was the Son of God...and He came to change the world!!!

Yes...we need to pay attention to those "little things"....God is at work in our midst. And that's definitely a "Bigger Thing"!

Pleasant Interludes in Caregiving

I am sitting here at my desk, writing to you, and listening to Tennessee Ernie Ford singing one beautiful hymn after the other.  Here is the link for you to enjoy if you so desire:

Tennessee Ernie Ford, "Amazing Grace, 40 Treasured Hymns".  I love this album as it brings back happy memories from my childhood, listening to Tennessee Ernie Ford on his TV show, or from the albums my father collected of his as well.  Ah, yes, "Precious Memories" indeed.

My sweet 93 year old mother in law is sitting in her chair here beside me, listening, singing along and dozing off at the same time.  These hymns have been like a tonic for her...calming her spirit and lifting her to a sacred place of worship and praise between her and her Savior.  I love to watch her as she sits with her eyes closed and prayerfully harmonizes along with each hymn.

She just woke up from a little dozing off with the most beautiful smile on her face, and I just had to take her picture so you could see.  She said, "How long was I asleep?"  I told, her "Not long...you were just feeling such peace listening to the beautiful music, you drifted off to another realm".

"Nanny", as we call her, has dementia, but lately, with the help of the Lord and some good medicines, she has become more like her old self mentally. That is a true blessing to us, her co-caregivers.  We share the responsibility with her other son and family, and a couple of months ago she was getting so difficult to deal with we were  all about desperate to place her in a nursing home.  I don't mind telling you this because it was something that was becoming unbearable for all of us. Caring for a loved one with dementia or Alzheimer's takes a terrific toll on the family...both in emotional and physical health. It also puts a great strain on marriages and other interpersonal relationships.

Nanny getting her first real pedicure!

And then, it is as if the Lord heard our pleas and said, "Okay! I'll give you a little reprieve".   The Doctor changed a couple of prescriptions, and finally the combination of meds seemed to find the right place in her mind and body...and our sweet Nanny came back!  Now, don't get me wrong, she still has dementia, and there are still some difficult moments and days, but for the most part she is much more compliant, pleasant, and cooperative...pretty much the opposite of what she was before. It was like a miracle!  Maybe it was!

And a manicure helps keep those nails from chipping and cracking.

However, being 93+ years old does continue to take its toll on her body physically.  As if in exchange for her having a sweet spirit again, her body is starting to weaken and become more frail each day. Hence the pretty pink cast on her right arm, from when she fell a few weeks ago and broke her thumb.  She tends to fall easily these days...so protecting her from getting hurt becomes a greater challenge.  

To help us keep track of her at night we bought a baby monitor to put in her bedroom. Now, in addition to listening to my sweet hubby breathing/sometimes snoring, I can also hear his mother wiffling in her sleep from her room on the opposite end of our house.  Quite a cacophony at times!  But then, when I sleep I serenade the whole house with my snorts! So I guess we're even! Ha Ha!

We know that there are still some major challenges ahead.  We are taking things one day at a time, and seeking God's direction for whatever is best for all concerned.  I believe He has her life in His hands, and He will continue to care for her one way or the other until He calls her home.  I pray also that He will continue to give us wisdom and strength for each day so that we will know what is best for all concerned.

In the meantime, we will continue to enjoy these pleasant interludes together and be thankful for God's little reprieve.  And listening to old time gospel hymns and other music from her past is a precious way to keep that smile on her face and her spirit in tune with her master until He calls her home someday.  It kind of soothes my soul too.  So that's a win-win!!

For some previous posts about our caregiving experience with "Nanny", Click HERE: http://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2015/04/trying-to-stay-on-track.html,
http://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2014/11/thanksgiving-role-reversal-and-golden.html
http://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2016/03/wave-white-flag-i-surrender.html
http://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2016/08/serving-with-grace.html
http://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2015/08/enjoying-nanny.html
http://pamelasopenwindow.blogspot.com/2014/10/change-of-plans.html