Who Am I?

Do you sometimes struggle with your own identity? Do you wonder if people really know the real you...and if they did, would they still love you? like you? care about you? Or would they be disappointed, sad, angry, or just surprised?

I know that I have often struggled with my identity. I was reminded of this struggle yesterday when I attended a viewing prior to the funeral for a woman I have known and admired since I was a teenager.  She was my Pastor's wife during my last few years at home before marriage, and actually it was her husband, the Pastor, who married us. She was also the mother of one of my high school girlfriends. I know that she had four children, all of whom are accomplished musicians with trained voices that could lift you to the heavenlies when they sing...seriously!  She and her husband the preacher were also interesting musicians, who often delighted us with performances singing to the accompaniment of a bucket bass, a singing saw, guitar, harmonica, and spoons. I believe this came out of their rich heritage of being raised in the mountains of West Virginia.

I also know that when their family moved into the parsonage that our church provided for them, they brought very little with them in the way of furnishings.  At that time I belonged to the Methodist church, and it was the practice of that denomination to move their pastors about every four years. Most churches provided furnished homes for their pastors, so the families didn't have to worry about moving a lot of "stuff" so often. Our youth group was on hand on moving day to help them move into the parsonage, and I remember thinking to myself, "Wow! I can't imagine having so few personal belongings for a home!"  I was hoping that they wouldn't mind the old worn out furniture that was in the parsonage, and was wishing there was some way we could spruce things up for them and make it really nice.  It was an older home that had not had much updating over the years, except for an added on family room that was fairly new.  The former pastor had been a bachelor, so not much had been done to beautify the place during his tenure.

Pastor and Mrs. Parsons

But I remember Mrs. "Parsons"...yes, that was her real name...and her husband was "Pastor Parsons"...so you can tell they were cut out for that profession...I remember her being so gracious and appreciative of everything in that home, and she especially was so kind and thankful for our help in bringing in their things and placing them wherever she directed.  She had a ready smile and a sweet spirit that I found warm and welcoming.  She wasn't loud or bossy or overly outspoken.  She was real...a lady in every respect who appeared to know her place as a pastor's wife...a helpmate, wife, mother, and one in whom you could place your confidence.  She was a woman who knew her identity and seemed to be very happy and content within.

What struck me yesterday as we entered the room at the church where Mrs. Parsons' body was placed, I realized that the Agnes Parsons that her family and friends and parishioners had known and loved and cherished, was really not there. It was her body, the familiar face and hair and hands that had once loved and smiled and laughed and cried...but her person, innermost being, spirit was not there. All that made her who she was was no longer present.  Oh yes, her loving, heartbroken husband was there. Her children and grandchildren and loved ones and friends and many former parishioners were there. But she was not. Her identity was now a true reality in heaven. The REAL Agnes Parsons was being embraced by her Savior, Jesus Christ, whom she knew and loved.  The Real Agnes Parsons was possibly dancing on the streets of gold, and singing with the heavenly choir with a voice even purer and clearer than ever before.  She was no longer being addressed as Mrs. Parsons, the preacher's wife.  She is now, Agnes, totally beloved of the Father in Heaven, precious child of God and a member of the Bride of Christ.

I started out saying that I have often struggled with my identity. See, I too, became a "Parson's Wife"...no not  to my Pastor Parsons...but a "preacher's wife"....and for many years that was my identity..."The Preacher's Wife."  Once my husband was no longer serving in that capacity, even though many still think of me in that role, I have struggled to figure out just who I really am.  I no longer have that place or position in life, and it is sometimes difficult to realize that I have a new identity.  But, like Mrs. Parsons, I do have a clear identity, even though I am still here in the flesh on this earth, my identity is also in heaven...where I am known and will someday live as Pam, totally beloved of the Father in Heaven, a precious child of God and member of the Bride of Christ.

So, who are YOU?  Is your identity tied up with your mate's position or as the wife, mother, daughter or sister (or husband, father, son, brother) of your family members? Or is it your position in life as a preacher, teacher, bookkeeper, lawyer, doctor, nurse, waitress, singer, writer, secretary, sports figure...whatever it is...is that what defines who you are?

"Who Am I" by Casting Crowns   is a song that I have loved and appreciated since the first time I heard it.      

"Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth

Would care to know my name

Would care to feel my hurt

Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star

Would choose to light the way

For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done

Not because of what I've done

But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

Vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling

And You've told me who I am

I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin

Would look on me with love and watch me rise again

Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea

Would call out through the rain

And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done

Not because of what I've done

But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

Vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling

And You've told me who I am

I am Yours

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done

Not because of what I've done

But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading

Here today and gone tomorrow

A wave tossed in the ocean

Vapor in the wind

Still You hear me when I'm calling

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling

And You've told me who I am

I am Yours

I am Yours

Whom shall I fear

Whom shall I fear

'Cause I am Yours

I am Yours"

If you are not sure of your identity today...if you don't know for certain that you have a place waiting for you in heaven...if you don't know that you belong to the God of heaven and earth...then perhaps now is the time to seek His face...to discover His amazing love and grace;

"Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!"  I John 3:1

"But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God."

John 1:12-13

This amazing Lord of all the earth loves you and cares about your every need and hurt and cry.  He wants to welcome you into His family...and give you a name that is an everlasting name...and a place at His banquet table. There can be no greater identity than that. The invitation has already been issued, with an R.S.V.P. attached.  I hope you'll respond in the affirmative.  Then someday we'll be dancing on those streets of gold together, and singing in that heavenly choir with Mrs. Parsons and all the rest of the saints! 

 Praise God!