How Are You Today?

How are you?  I'm fine, thank you. How are you?  I'm okay.

Does this sound familiar? How often do we ask each other these questions back and forth...and do we really listen for the answer?  Or do we just take it for granted that the person says what they mean..."I'm fine, thank you."...but what if they said, "I'm not doing so well. I really need to talk to someone."  Do we stop what we are doing and listen?  Or perhaps they don't come right out and say it that obviously.  Maybe they simply say, "I'm okay", but with a tone that doesn't quite match up to the statement.  Do we prod any further into their private thoughts? Do we ask what's wrong? Do we care?

I am guilty of not taking things a step further.  I often rush on about my business and don't let it sink in that the person may not really be "okay".  This past week everyone was crushed by the tragic suicide of Robin Williams.  Even though I was not a particular fan, I was still saddened by his death. Saddened that the very people who make us laugh are often the ones crying on the inside, and we are not aware. I won't belabor the subject of R.W. any further as much has been said about him all week long in the news, tabloids, everywhere we look.

I will only say that we need to pay closer attention to what people are really saying to us by their

• actions
• words
• expressions
• writings
• non-verbal communications
• attitudes

We have all heard it said:

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

This has been attributed to Plato, Greek author & philosopher in Athens (427 BC - 347 BC)

Regardless of who said it when, it seems to be a very true statement.  I can speak it from experience. I mean, haven't we all come through some "hard battles" in life? If you've lived a while on this earth, you surely have had some battles.  I remember one young couple in one of our churches in the past who seemed to have everything going well for them.  Good jobs, nice house, great marriage, beautiful children. The wife once made the comment to me that she couldn't understand why everyone wasn't happy like they were. They considered themselves good Christian people, and therefore they seemed to think that they had no problems, no worries and nothing to fear. Her attitude was that if everyone lived life like they did they shouldn't have so many problems.  I tried hard not to be too critical of this naive young woman, and I didn't want to alarm her, but I wanted her to understand that sooner or later everyone goes through some kind of trial on this earth.  If they don't, then possibly they really aren't living a life worth cultivating.  

The New Testament book of I Peter, Chapter 1, addresses this subject. Primarily in verses 6-8, which say:

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while,

if need be, you have been grieved by various trials,

that the genuineness of your faith, being much more

precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire,

may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ,

Whom having not seen you love..."

And again we see in the book of James, chapter 1, verses 2-4:

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,

knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

But let patience have its perfect work,

that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."

See, sooner or later, if we are living right, we will all suffer through various trials...to help us grow stronger in our faith and maturity.  This young woman that I spoke of earlier soon found out that just living a good life did not guarantee them a worry free existence.  Not long after making this comment to us, their sweet little daughter was diagnosed with autism, and a whole new world of learning and trusting and faith was set before them.  I have not seen or heard of this family in many years since we were called on to other places far away not long after, but I wonder if she would be so glib in her thoughts and comments today.  I have a feeling that their lives were changed over night by this difficult circumstance, but I would be willing to bet they are stronger and richer in faith and love and heart because of the trial that came into their lives.

What I am trying to say is this:  

• Don't be so quick to dismiss someone just because they say they are "Okay".
• Take time to listen to what might be said between the lines
• Don't judge others who may be suffering because they don't live life according to your particular standards.  You really don't know the whole story, do you?
• Don't be so quick to think just because you live right that you won't ever have to endure hardships.
• Trials come to all of us sooner or later.

The good news is this:  We are not alone in our struggles and trials.

Psalm 55:22 says:

"Cast your burden on the Lord,

And He shall sustain you;

He shall never permit the righteous to be moved."

Matthew 11:28-30 says:

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden,

and I will give you rest.

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me,

for I am gentle and lowly in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls.

For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

Take time to listen to others...and take time to take care of yourself as well.  If you are currently in the midst of a battle, cast your care upon the Lord...He WILL sustain you. He will not forsake you.  Lean on Him and learn what it means to take His yoke upon you and learn from Him.  Then be willing and able to share that knowledge and love with others who may be struggling beneath their heavy load.

Lord, help me to be a load bearer for others who may be struggling beneath their load. Help me not to be so quick to judge.  Help me to remember to lean on You...and lead others to You for strength as well. Amen.

Don't Judge A Book (or a hairdresser) by it's cover...(Or it's hair)

Boy did I have a slap in the face humility lesson!  I went to my usual place to get a haircut, which was LONG overdue (pardon the pun).  My usual place is really exotic...Smart Style in the local Walmart...it used to be cheap...but not anymore.  They charge as much as the real salons where you have to have appointments and get preferential treatment...

Well anyway,  I go to Walmart because it is convenient and I don't have to worry about keeping an appointment.  I usually try to get the same person each time, but if she's not available I'll take whoever is ready and willing to get the job done.  So, I walk into the salon and sign in and ask for my favorite lady. I am told by the woman at the desk that she is off today.  So I say, Ok, I'll take whoever is ready...and she says, "Ok, Josh, you're up!" 

I look to see who "Josh" is, as I have never seen a man stylist in this place before.  Wouldn't you know that "Josh" is a young 30 something guy with the most punk looking haircut you can imagine?  I mean, he's got a spiked mohawk with hot pink hair tips standing straight up like a coxcomb!  My first thought is, "oh my gosh...he's going to cut MY hair?"  Oh no! I'm trying to think how I can get out of this without looking ungrateful, but it's too late.  "Josh" has already seen me coming in and he walks right up to me and shakes my hand and says, "Hi, I'm Josh! How would you like your hair cut today?"  The first words out of my mouth are, "Hi Josh, I'm Pam...I need a wash and cut, but not like YOURS!"  He laughed and said "That's the reaction I usually get!"  Then I relaxed and said, "Well, maybe we could start a new trend for 60 year old ladies! I'm sure my husband would just love it (not)...and so would my employers at the church where I work!"   Then he really surprised me, because obviously I'm thinking this guy knows nothing about church...I mean, he just doesn't fit the mold...at least not the mold I'm thinking about... 
Josh replies, "Oh, hey, I know what you mean. I teach Sunday School, and when the new parents drop off their kids they look at me and say, "Uh, where's the teacher? Is there anybody else in there?"  And he just smiles and says, "Yeah, my wife is here...she's the teacher...I'm just here for the entertainment!" 

So then I'm really flabberghasted...not only is he married, but he teaches Sunday School with his wife! And he's a parent too...has two kids...one aged 11 (just like my grandson!), and a little girl age 5!  So now I'm really mulling all this over in my head...(while he's cutting away at my hair...and I'm still wondering what I will end up looking like....  He continues to chat about his family and his home and where he went to school (at one the same places I worked...Lake Tech) and then I find out he actually worked in one of the same places where my younger son worked (a restaurant) before he decided he wanted to try something new like cutting hair!!

By the time he's done cutting my hair I had totally had my whole mind rearranged about pre-judging this young man...and I actually left there liking my haircut even better than ever before from all those old experienced women stylists!  Oh, and how DOES my hair look?  I'll never tell...you'll have to come see for yourself!!



The new me....

Lord, forgive me for prejudging and being such a narrow minded person.  And thank you for bringing Josh to my "hair rescue"...Not only did he do a great job on my hair (see above, oh sorry, I'm praying), but he also did a great job on my mind!  I do believe You sent him to me on purpose!  Thanks, Lord!  I needed that lesson!  Amen.

Judge Not...

Matthew 7:1-5  "Judge not, that you be not judged. 

For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 

And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 

 Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 

Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." 

Judging...it is a problem that we have all dealt with in one way or another.  Either we become the judge about someone else, or they become the judge of us.  Judgment is passed down every day in our courts, in our schools, our towns, our churches and and our neighborhoods...as well as in our own families.  You point the finger at me, I point my finger back at you.  We criticize our neighbors, friends, pastor, teacher, co-workers...or random people we don't even know on the street, on the news, on the highways. 

We label others because we don't like the way they dress, wear their hair, the vehicle they drive, the house they live in, or even where they may have come from.  We make unkind remarks about people out on the street carrying signs saying they are homeless, jobless, hungry..."will work for food".  We find out that so-and-so was in prison, or had an affair, or a divorce, or lost their job because they made a mistake...and we think that would never happen to us, our family, or our friends. We criticize our politicians, their wives, their children..when we don't even know the truth about them. We are too quick to believe the lies, the gossip, the "news", without giving anyone the benefit of the doubt. We refuse to consider someone fairly for a job, or a promotion, or assistance of any kind because we heard something negative about them or their family, or we fear they may do something to embarrass us  or cause others to criticize us for helping them.

Jesus has a lot to say about this kind of judging and lack of love for our neighbors...Matthew chapters 5-6-7 are full of instruction, admonitions, and warnings to us if we do not show love to our fellow man or if we judge others unfairly.  But the best response of all is found in Matthew 25:31-46. I will not reprint it all here, but will commend it to your reading...Jesus is telling the people about the judgment in the end times, when God is separating the sheep from the goats. 

 In verses 35-36 He is telling those on His right hand about the good things they had done..."For I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me."  When the righteous people asked Jesus when they had done these things to Him, He responded in verse 40: "Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me." 

But then the tables are turned on those on His left hand...He tells them in verses 41-46 that they did NOT do these things for the least of these, and therefore they had not done it for Him...and He told them to "Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels."    He concludes His story by saying in verse 46: "And these will go away into everlasting punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

Wow!  Sure makes me want to think twice before I start judging my neighbor...or before I refuse to help someone less fortunate than I.  I know I am guilty of not always doing the right thing for others...I'm in too big of a hurry, or too prejudiced in my thinking about their circumstances.  But when others do that against me or members of my family and friends...I get angry. I get self-righteous...I forget that I, too, am guilty of neglecting the needs of others.

Lord, help me to be less judgmental and more caring for my neighbors and others who You bring into my world each day.  Help me to not be so quick to see the speck in others' eyes, when I have a log in my own eye.  Forgive me, Lord, for my self-righteousness at the expense of others.  Thank you for this reminder tonight.  May it have a lasting impact on my heart.  Amen.