Random Journal Day #3: A Rather Nondescript Journal

Here we go again...Random Journal Day #3!  I am enjoying this opportunity to team up with other blogging friends in baring our innermost souls and sharing excerpts from our past journals with the world.  It is a bold and daring thing to do...open up an old journal and allow others to have a peek at our secret thoughts.  It could prove to be embarrassing, but hopefully it will be uplifting and encouraging to others who see themselves in what we have written.  If you would like to join us in this activity, please link up with us on
the following link: Random Journal Day Link Up - 3. 

Meanwhile, Today I selected an entry from my most nondescript journal in my collection.  I wanted to post a picture of it, but it is just a plain brown notebook, in which I added pages as needed.  The cover was so ugly, I decided to try and show it off to its best advantage...here's a few shots of it:

Now you have to admit that these pictures
do make this journal look a lot more interesting!
Now if the story is anywhere near as interesting as the picture,
this might be worth reading!

The journal entry I have chosen to share comes from September 3, 1989- Sunday, 9:55 p.m.     "Bedtime always seems to be the only time I can sit down and write. Probably because everyone else is still up-either getting showers, playing in their rooms to the very last minute, or watching the tail-end of a game or something on T.V.  (At the time of this writing, we had 3 sons living at home, ages 17, 16, and 12. One was a senior in high school, one a junior, and one in 7th grade.  We were serving in the ministry of a suburban church in the outskirts of Dayton, OH.)  I like to steal away into my bedroom, get my shower, and write awhile before everyone else comes barging in for bedtime prayers and goodnights.  Writing is, to me, a very private thing. (and here you are reading over my shoulder!)  Although someday I'd love to publish a book for all the world to read~right now I want to keep it hidden from view~my own private world where I can say what I want without fearing what someone else will say about it.  I guess it's sort of a lack of self-esteem~I don't want anyone else to read what I've written who may not understand it or appreciate it.  (See...this really does take courage to print!)  I'm sure someday someone will discover this and read it~maybe a grandchild~or even a great-grandchild~and if they do, perhaps they'll catch a glimpse of their past in these pages~perhaps even a glimpse of themselves~"a missing link", so to speak~of why they think or act the way they do~or why certain traditions have been handed down in their families.  Who knows what some future heir will think when he or she reads this...perhaps that their ancestor was a bit odd?  Or silly and sentimental--or a dreamer?!  Well, regardless of what my future heirs shall think~I'll continue to write~and maybe this will eventually fall into the hands of a "kindred spirit"...a child with a heart like mine!  One who will cherish these words from the past as a treasure of memories.  I suppose that's why I take the time to write them~with the hope that someday someone will read and understand and appreciate the underlying messages coming through." 

At this point in my journal I mentioned that I had recently resigned from a job and I listed a very long wish list of things that I hoped to accomplish now that I was "free"....as free as any busy pastor's wife with 3 active teenaged boys could be, that is. I was rather ambitious...of course, I was only about 39 years old at the time, so I guess I still had the energy to be that ambitious.  Some of the things I listed were:

• refinishing some antique furniture
• plant tulip bulbs given to me by a friend from church
• bake bread! ?
• make and freeze applesauce?!
• make and freeze zucchini bread?!
• catch up on correspondence
• teach 2 Bible Studies, work with Jr. High youth at church
• thoroughly clean the house!
• be a better neighbor and friend and spend more time cultivating friendships
• and last but not least: WRITE A BOOK!  I think it was funny that I wrote in parentheses: ("What do you think this is??")

I then added the following thoughts:

"So, the plans look ambitious~and I commit them all to God.  I want HIM to order my life~not me!  If these plans aren't exactly that He had in mind for me, then I submit to His will and seek His guidance.  Perhaps He has some surprises in store yet!  I trust they will be pleasant surprises."

I went on to quote from an old hymn the following:

"But I know Whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able

To keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day."

I concluded this entry by saying, "Tomorrow is Labor Day. No school or work! Hurray!!"  Good night.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this excerpt from my past.  Hard to believe this was almost 23 years ago! I still have a long list of things I'd like to accomplish...still some of the same kinds of things..and especially the part about writing a book...and I still ask myself, "What do you think this is?"  Maybe someday...

P.S.  Looking back at the time this journal entry was written, I can say that God did have some surprises in store for us.  Within three months we were called to another church in the suburbs of Detroit, MI., which was quite an adventure in itself - for another story.  I did, however, manage to accomplish a few of my goals before moving... I refinished the antique vanity that I had wanted to restore...and here is a picture of the finished product along with my Grandmother's antique dresser. (I didn't refinish the dresser...that was already done by my brother). (Notice the gold carpet...this was the 80's, remember?) I did plant the tulips in my yard, but I never got to see them grow and bloom. I wonder if they are still there?  I don't remember about the applesauce, bread and zucchini bread...but I still like that idea for a fall project.  I will never catch up on correspondence...but now we have email and facebook, so that is my "correspondence" these days. (and this blog).  I know I taught a Ladies' Bible Study, but I don't remember another one at that particular time, and I did help with the youth until we left that church 3 months later.  Neighbors? Well, we moved...what can I say? But, I do still keep in touch with many of the ladies from that Bible Study on facebook..which was a surprise blessing a couple of years ago! And I am STILL wanting to write that book...someday...Lord willing!