A Little This, A Little That

What do you do when you are feeling kind of hemmed in by circumstances beyond your control? You know, when you'd like to be out doing things you enjoy, but you've taken on a responsibility that is a bit confining, at least for awhile...and you struggle against feelings of rebellion because you can't do what you want to do...

You stop and realize that this minor restriction is only temporary...and that perhaps your little inconvenience might actually be something that is a huge blessing to someone who is very dear to you.  You put aside your selfish ambitions and do whatever it takes to bring a smile to another and restore a sense of security and peace to one who may be feeling a bit lost and alone.

You search for ways to include such a one in your normal routine so that he/she feels accepted, loved and useful again.

That may not always be an easy task, especially if the one you love is struggling with the onset of dementia and has had to leave his/her home, give up independence and become dependent upon others who are still very active,,,and who are trying very hard to understand the changes that are taking place in the one they love...

It isn't an easy task when the dear one truly dislikes having to become dependent, but cannot remember that he/she has told you the same thing over and over again several times in the last hour or even few minutes.  Or when it becomes obvious that the once strong, beautiful, generous and intelligent person no longer finds it possible to manage simple tasks or prepare food, drive a car, take proper medications, or take a shower without a struggle and a lot of fear.

A wonderful flea market find...a vintage bowl...

So you do a little of this, and a little of that...take short walks around the yard with the loved one instead of the long delightful walk you have always enjoyed morning and evening on your days off from work.  You find simple tasks that can be done without too much danger or confusion...such as putting the silverware and napkins on the table at mealtimes...drying a few dishes,  or folding some towels.

 Take a little ride and enjoy the beautiful scenery within a few miles of your home, but not venturing too far from places where one can stop for a restroom if necessary.  If possible, check out the local flea market and take a short walk in and out, looking at interesting items that may bring back memories of the "good old days".   Maybe even purchase something that seemed to bring a smile to a previously unsmiling face.

And a vintage sugar bowl...

These are little things that are simple to do now...but as the disease progresses we know that even these little things may become more and more difficult.  So...we thank the Lord for the good days that we have now. We take it one day at a time as far as any major decisions or plans for the future. We are thankful that we are sharing this load with other family members and not bearing the full responsibility alone.  We thank the Good Lord for the many years of blessing and joy this loved one has brought us...and the many ways she has blessed us with her love and generosity and kindness over the years.  I inwardly thank my mate who remembers to give thanks for this dear one at each meal while asking the blessing...and helping her to feel that love and appreciation for her presence with us.

Yes, a little this, and a little that...to help ease the moments that are sometimes awkward and frustrating and create instead moments of joy and laughter whenever possible.

That's what is really important. Not my selfish ambitions or my momentary inconveniences.

For previous thoughts on this subject go back here.