What Do You See Outside YOUR Open Window Today?

What Do You See Outside YOUR Open Window Today?
Remember: "When God closes a door, He always opens a window!" You never know what might be out there waiting for you!

Friday, October 2, 2015

Some Yearnings of My Soul - Random Journal Day


I know I already published this particular post, but that was over four years ago, and not for Random Journal Day, so I hope this will pass the test for this month's entry.  Yes, it is that time again when we dig into our old (or not so old) journals and randomly (or maybe NOT so randomly) choose something to share with you.  This particular journal entry was written now probably over 25 years ago...and it is still my fondest "dream".  We are closer to it that ever before, but with a few modifications. We don't have a farm per se', but we live in the woods with lots of God's creatures. I don't have to worry about feeding them.  I don't have a garden either, but I can still buy apples at the store and bake apple pies (when I have the time and energy).  We do love to have people in our home...and there is always room "for more laughter, more songs, more tears, more prayers, more stories, more games, more sharing, more caring, and most of all, more love.”  So maybe I am closer to living the dream than I thought.  Thank you, Lord...for hearing the "yearnings of my soul" and acting upon them in YOUR time, in YOUR way. That's always the best way!

(Orginial Post published 2/27/2011):

Romans 12:13  “Distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality…”

The following is an excerpt from my personal journal, written over 20 years ago, when we were serving in the ministry in a church in the midwest...
It was during these years that I starting expressing a need to feel a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment in my life.  Maybe it was my own little type of “mid-life crisis”…although I was not quite yet forty.  But I think it was because we had moved so much in our lives and even though we owned our home at that particular church, I still longed for a home where I felt like I truly belonged.  I poured out my thoughts and desires in my journal in this way on my thirty-eighth birthday:

“I believe, for now, I am doing all God wants me to do—of course there is room for improvement, but I know I am in the center of His will as far as His place for me in life.  I wouldn’t want to be any other place.  But I just feel like life is rushing past me so quickly, and I have not even begun to do all that I want to do in this life.  Maybe God doesn’t intend for me to do everything, but I hope I’ll get to do some of it!  I really can’t even put into words just what I think I am supposed to be doing!  I know that spiritually I fall way behind.  The Ladies’ Bible Study is a beginning, but I believe God wants to use me even more in a discipling ministry with women, and perhaps even young people.  But first, I feel a need to be further discipled myself!  I’d also like to do some writing; books that are spiritually meaningful and helpful.”  (Here I am Lord, twenty+ years later…is it time now?)

I went on to describe my favorite dream home, and I think it is something that needs to be shared with anyone who wants to read this.  It may be your dream too!  I can tell you this, that I have not let go of this dream yet, and it continues to haunt my heart…

“My other dream is to have a home that is a haven for people who need to feel ‘at home’.  A cozy, comfortable, secure, interesting, warm and happy place to be; relaxing and homey, with places to just curl up and read a good book by the fire with a cup of tea.  Gardens full of fresh flowers in the spring, summer and fall, and lots of snow in winter!  Woods to walk through, hearing the autumn leaves crunch as the gorgeous colors float past…where one might come across a deer, or rabbit, or even a fox!  A nice dog to be a companion on walks—a collie or a golden retriever is nice—perhaps an old barn with the sweet smell of hay and the earthy aroma of manure; a cow or two, maybe a horse and a buggy, some cats lying around soaking up the sun, ducks on the pond, geese in the fields…maybe a cool, bubbling brook meandering through the woods.

Back inside the house one walks into the welcoming fragrance of coffee brewing, and the sounds of a whistling tea kettle calling us to "tea time". There would be the spicy aroma of an apple pie baking in the oven, a pot of homemade vegetable beef soup bubbling on the top of the stove.  It’s a big country kitchen with old-fashioned warmth. Perhaps there is an old wood cook-stove, freshly baked bread, a big basket of apples just picked from the orchard; and a larder full of vegetables gathered from the garden.

I guess I must really want a farmhouse…a place where people are always about…family, friends, missionaries, neighbors, kids, grandkids, grandmothers and grandfathers, college kids away from home, old friends passing through…an inn of sorts, but we never have a ‘no-vacancy’ sign…there is always room for more laughter, more songs, more tears, more prayers, more stories, more games, more sharing, more caring, and most of all, more love.”


I continued on in my journal to say,

“Maybe my ‘mansion’ in heaven will be like this, but it’s so needed here on earth!  If I need it, then many others must need it even more!  Lord, do You hear my heartbeat?  Do You understand what I’m saying? Is this an impossible dream?  Is it not something You want for me?  If not, then I can live with that, but, please, Lord, help me to make every home in which I live a place where You are welcome first of all…and then all those You bring my way.  Help me to always have an open heart and an open home.  Help others to share in this dream too, if it please Thee, dear Lord.”


I concluded this journal entry by writing, “Well, my boys are baking me a cake for my birthday, the first time ever!  I am trying to stay out of the way so I don’t end up having to do it myself!  Thank you Lord, for understanding.  I love you Lord.”


Twenty + years later I am still waiting for the fulfillment of that dream, and yet, in many ways we have had that dream come true throughout the years…maybe not in the literal sense as described above, but certainly in our open hearts and open homes…we have tried to be available to loved ones and friends, strangers and passers-by alike.  And perhaps even this blog is a way to bring a time of laughter, comfort, inspiration and encouragement to its readers.  If we can’t be somewhere in the true physical literal sense, we can certainly be there in our imaginations and hearts…and that is where it all begins.

Thank you for taking a moment away from your busy day to spend a few minutes with me, sharing the vision, welcoming the flood of thoughts that are working their way through your heart and mind right now as we visit our dreams together.  As our world hurls itself deeper and deeper into the chaos and turbulence of recession, depression and uncertainty...we all need a place of quiet rest and peace.  Spend a little time each day, reading God's Word first of all, and then allowing His Holy Spirit to minister to you, and through you to others in your circle of influence.   Kind of reminds me of John and Yoko Lennon's song, "Imagine"...but in a true spiritual sense, living in God's real place of peace.

Ahhhhh...I needed that. Amen.


Okay, friends, back to the future:  Now take a walk over to http://enthusiasticallydawn.com/2015/10/02/random-journal-day-55-with-patsy-paterno/ and check out what others are writing from their journals!

12 comments:

  1. Awww--that is a wonderful dream! I would love that home too---maybe it really is our heavenly home, just waiting for us to enter the doors!---We can only imagine-----

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  2. Oh Pamela, don't you dare feel corny about this dream! It is totally wonderful and could still happen literally! Does your hubby see the same picture you do?
    I attended a class about following your dream once and the big thing that stayed with me is to do the first step towards it even if it is as small as inviting people to stay in your current home. You are already doing this so you are on your way! Who knows where the next 10 years will find you?
    :)

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  3. Aunt Pam, The first paragraph of your journal entry is EXACTLY what I have been saying and feeling lately. I feel like life is passing me by so quickly and I am so scared that I will not do half the things that I want to do in this life....I feel so lost at times...I feel like I am in the movie Groundhog Day...the same pattern and routine everyday and not accomplishing much. Did God put me on this Earth just to be a support for everybody else to live their dreams? I can't imagine that that is my sole purpose. Thank you for all of your posts...more often than not they profoundly speak to me....I thank God for selecting me to be your niece!

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  4. I almost missed these precious comments from yesterday...wow! Thank you dear friends and loved ones for sharing the dream with me...please don't give up on your own dreams...they come from God...make every moment count..."Commit your way to the LORD; trust also in him; and He shall bring it to pass." Psalm 37:5

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  5. Pam- I love your dream! And it reminds me that I too want to offer time and space in our HOME for people to be refreshed by God...I get glimpses of it and I am imagining day retreats and art journaling classes in my front room. Once I get used of this new routine of sub teaching...I believe God will accomplish His purpose regarding this dream of an "open heart and open home"

    Thank you for sharing your heart here at your blog which welcomes us and gives us courage to keep walking and listening and seeking the filling of God's spirit!

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    1. Thank you Kel. Yes, sometimes it just takes a spark of encouragement from someone else to see that our own dreams are actually doable...with God's help and in His time. I've waiting a long time for this, and yet if I am honest I could say that God has been doing this in small ways all along....preparing our hearts and the way. Just opening our "heart and home" to just one person at a time is a start...and may be all that we are asked to do. We just need to be faithful to do what is asked no matter how small or large. God will be there for us. THank you for stopping by and sharing your heart too! Blessings dear friend.

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  6. Oh, Pam- thank you so much for joining us once more for RJD -with your lovely dream...sigh. It helps me to know that I am not alone in some of those types of dreams...I like the way you were so specific, and it makes me want to dream a bit with my pen in my journal. You know we lost one home...and that was difficult. As a matter of fact counted once that I had lived in 13 different "homes" at least by my mid twenties...I recall one of the most wonderful places I have ever stayed and lived a bit was at my Grandfather's house in the "sticks". I loved it so much I actually think of it often...have even written a bit about it in a fiction story I am working on (or was working on and put in the pile of incomplete projects). HUgs Pam...thanks for inviting me into this dream with you. My mind is pondering much this RJD - so many deep and thought provoking posts. Sorry I am so late, very hectic weekend.

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    1. Always better late than never, they say! I totally understand "hectic weekends". That's why I resort to re-posting old posts so often...otherwise I'd just have to bow out and I don't want to do that. I love this little community of journalist friends...thanks to you! I would love to hear about your Grandfather's house "in the sticks"...just that word picture sets my mind a stirring...so you'd better dig up that story and finish it! Love ya sweet friend. Always...

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  7. I love this 'pipe' dream of yours, too. As I read it, I thought of the ways your little home in the woods there in Florida has answered those dreams. Not physically, but in essence--the gardens you've planted, the walks you take, the way you invite people in, both near you and via your blog. Yours is a welcoming home and that's exactly the kind of 'mansion' you always wanted. Thank God for you.

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    1. Thank you Carolyn...yes, little by little our home here is becoming what I'd dreamed of so long ago...still a few parts missing...but in God's time I know He will bring it all together the way it was meant to be. I am so glad that you feel welcome in my home...even if it is from afar. I hope someday we will all get together in our "mansion" either here or above. Eternity is ours to look forward to and cherish!

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  8. Hi Pam! I love that you wanted your dream home to be 'interesting'. I don't think I've ever seen that before. I wonder if that home is really a description of you? You are all those things on this blog, so maybe God is giving you your hearts desire through your own personality and writing style.

    I know I've said it before, but exposing your journal pages is just plain BRAVE. I don't think I could ever do it...
    Have a wonderful Wednesday,
    Ceil

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    1. Oh thank you Ceil...you are so encouraging...always. I love the thought that this blog is "interesting"...that is something I'd never really thought before...but it makes me happy to think it.
      As far as exposing our journal being brave...well...maybe brave...could be a little "crazy"...but I tend to not be as "random" in my choice as I probably am supposed to be. There are many things that I would never share publicly. But doing this exercise each month has actually given me more courage in my writing. The important thing is, is there anything here that is edifying and helpful to others? Can God use my struggles and dreams and thoughts to encourage someone else in their own walk with Christ? If so, then please continue to give me courage, Lord! That is the purpose of this whole blog idea in the first place. If it doesn't do that, then I quit!
      Thank you for visiting. I always appreciate the things you say. You are a blessing to me.

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Thank you for visiting here today. I would love for you to sign my guestbook and let me know you stopped by. I always enjoy reading your comments and words of encouragement! May you be blessed as you go on your way. Please come back and visit again soon.