Been kicking some thoughts around in my head this week, and never got around to putting them on paper, so now I will try to remember what they were. Usually when I think I've got something really good to say, by the time I get around to saying it it no longer seems quite so special. Perhaps things have happened to change my viewpoint, or to draw my attention to other topics even more significant. (In my mind, that is)
Earlier this week I was thinking about how I sometimes feel like the female version of Superman, not in the powerful superhero sense, but in the quick change of clothes in the phone booth from Clark Kent, Newspaper Reporter, to Superman. But my quick change is just the opposite...like when I come home from my job as a church business administrator everyday, dressed semi-professionally, (dress pants, shoes, top/jacket depending on the season, etc.), the minute I walk in the door of my house at the end of the day, off come the shoes, the jewelry (why is it I feel naked when I go out the door if I don't have on my watch, rings, earrings, bracelet, necklace, but the minute I walk in the door of my house I suddenly feel like I am being strangled by too many "chains" around my body?)...and then I peel off my slacks, top, and grab the most comfy, loose fitting, somewhat stained and grungy t-shirt and capris, and slide my feet into the softest, lighter than air shoes (my new Skechers Go Walk shoes)
I am the real me again. Not that I don't feel I am
the real me at my job, but that's the other me. The
professional me who has to think, make decisions,
figure out problems, deal with weighty issues, sometimes financial, sometimes supervisory, sometimes unpleasant situations that fall on my shoulders because "that's your job".
Of course, I often have similar issues to deal with when I get home...make decisions, figure out problems, deal with weighty issues, OFTENTIMES financial, sometimes "supervisory"...and even deal with unpleasant situations because that's my job as a mother, wife, homemaker, cook, bill payer, etc....but when I'm home I'm on safe ground...I know I am beloved, treasured, and secure. I am not in danger of losing my position because I didn't handle something right, or forgot some very important deadline, or called in sick too often. When I am home, I am free to be me. I can breathe...I can laugh, I can cry, I can get angry and be forgiven...I am loved unconditionally.
Now please don't get the wrong idea here, especially if you happen to know me at my place of employment and wonder if something has triggered all this...No, nothing has happened. I am just making general observations here...probably most people who are employed can relate to this no matter where they work.
I don't have any astounding revelations here or answers to these questions...just thinking out loud. One thing I do know for certain...even if I wasn't exactly beloved, treasured and secure in my home, I am beloved, treasured, and secure with my Lord.
"Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!" I John 3:1
"In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." I John 4:10
"But God demonstrates His love toward us, in that while we were still sinners,
Christ died for us."
Romans 5:8
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear..." I John 4:18a
Therefore, I do not fear that I will not be loved or accepted by my Heavenly Father...He loved me before I was even born...I am highly treasured by God...no matter what position I am in, what clothes I wear, or what I do to try to make myself appear righteous and noble...He loves me...just the way I am. My righteousness is as filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6)...without God, I am nothing. But in Christ, I am precious in His sight. And so are you, dear friend, if you belong to Jesus. And if you are not certain about that...ask Him to show you how much He loves you. You may be surprised at what you will discover.
This is the real me, taking a walk in the woods and loving that feeling of freedom from pressure and deadlines... On the journey of life...precious and beloved...as are you, my friend. |