Cracks in My Soul - Revisited

A few years ago there was a group of us bloggers who participated in what we called "Random Journal Day" each Friday.  We'd randomly pull out one of our old journals from the past and post whatever popped up.  After a few years of doing this we all kind of ran out of journals (or at least I did) and new things to share, so that little group kind of faded into the background of blogging groups...but many of us are still friends...we've just pursued different directions in blogging for now.

I was just thinking that I haven't been posting much lately...primarily because I've been busy with a lot of stuff and just can't seem to sit down and concentrate on a new blog post as often as I'd like.  So now and then I like to revisit some of my old posts from the past, and today I discovered this one from my "Random Journal Days"...and it was from my old teal notebook journal from the 1990's, and landed on October 12, 1991.  Columbus Day! So here it is...today, October 12, 2017...26 years later!

"Columbus Day -- Aunt Nellie's birthday" (my husband's "favorite" aunt,  now RIP) , "practically the middle of October already.  Where has the year gone?  This year was so full of trauma, 'busy-ness', fear, sorrow, joy, tears, laughter, rushing to and fro, wonder, amazement, disbelief, faith--a lot of opposite emotions and activities--many days are just a blur--they all ran together--it seems on one hand like a very long time, and on the other hand, like only yesterday...and now we come to October..."  

(I won't go into all the details of what was going on at the time...but it was a very difficult year and I was feeling the stress and strain of "too much"...and as I went on in my journal to talk about some hopes and dreams for our future, I finally expressed the innermost feelings of my tired, worn out heart and soul)

"I don't ever want to stand in the way of God's will for us and block the path by selfishness and stubbornness.  Nor do I wish to attempt to dictate to God what He should do with regard to our future.

'The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters,

He restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righeousness

for His name's sake.'

Psalm 23:1-3

Perhaps this is what I'm longing for right now, Lord--to lie down in green pastures--beside the still waters--and have my soul restored!  This past year did a lot to cause some cracks in my soul.  Not cracks that endanger my soul's preservation, but cracks in the 'veneer'--the outer surface--

cracks of weariness, stress, burnout, fear..

cracks that could get bigger if left untreated...

'You anoint my head with oil;

My cup overflows.'  (Psalm 23:5B)

Like a table that needs refinishing (or restoring), the cracks in my soul need Your heavenly oil poured on them and in them...

to soften, smooth, and renew my soul...

Cracks come in furniture from being too dry, too exposed to the elements, or too much pressure placed on the surface...

Cracks come into our souls from becoming too dry~ not having our thirst quenched,

From being over-exposed to the elements around us...

Trials, storms of life, fears, worries, sorrows, disappointments, hurts, embarrassments...

And cracks appear from too much weight or pressure on one's heart, shoulders, or mind.

Stressful situations, carrying burdens we weren't intended to bear...and not having a strong enough foundation to support the load...these all cause cracks in our souls...

The oil of God's Holy Spirit flows into those cracks and heals, soothes, comforts, softens, and restores that soul.

Thank you, Lord, for that heavenly 'oil' that only You can pour on our souls.

Help us, Lord, to desire that oil and to apply it before too much damage is done.

Make us a completely restored vessel--suitable and beautiful for service once again."

'Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord--forever.'  (Psalm 23:6)

I think I needed to read this again today...what a blessed reminder from God's Word...and from my past for my present and my future....

How about you?  Does your soul have cracks in it from the pressures of this life?  Maybe you could use some of the "oil of God's Holy Spirit" to "flow into those cracks and heal, soothe, comfort, soften and restore" your soul today...Just ask Him...He's waiting to start the restoration right now.


Postscript: That old table above belonged to my husband's grandmother, and has been used for close to ninety years...to serve family, friends, visiting ministers and missionaries, strangers and possible angels in disguise.  Most recently used to host a bridal shower luncheon for my new daughter in law to be! Oh if tables could talk! What a story they could tell of the conversations heard around that table for almost a century!   And the prayers and blessings that have been given for the meals that were so lovingly prepared....for holidays, special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries...wow! I guess I could write another whole post just on this table!! But, think about this...that old table could have been thrown out years ago because it does have cracks and humps and nicks and scratches. It is heavy and cumbersome and awkward to move...but I just keep pouring on the furniture oil to restore it and revive it and keep it going...and God has blessed that table with His grace all these years...

'Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord--forever.'  (Psalm 23:6)

Just think about these thoughts today...

and don't give up!

Just pour on the oil of God's Holy Spirit and keep going in Jesus' Name!

Amen!!