Who's A Nag?

Proverbs 21:9: "It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, than in a house shared with a contentious woman."


Proverbs 21:19: "It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman."

Proverbs 19:13b: "And the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping."

Need I say more? Old King Solomon "had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart." (I Kings 11:3) So if any man knew about contentious wives and women...I imagine he did! These proverbs that he wrote make me wonder if, with all of his wealth, "wisdom", and wives, he would rather have lived out in the wilderness with the wild animals than in his palace!

Sometimes I've been accused of being a "nag"...especially when company's coming and the house is a mess...and everyone turns a deaf ear to my pleas to help clean up!  It would seem to me that most every woman is accused of nagging from time to time. But is nagging really the same as being contentious? Contentious means "quarrelsome" according to Webster's Dictionary. Some nagging does become quarrelsome, and if it is constant, it could be considered contentious. I like Proverbs 19:13b that says that the "contentions of a wife are a continual dripping." You know, like a leaky faucet? Who doesn't hate that?

How can I avoid becoming a contentious, nagging wife? I mean, aren't some of my contentions justified... afterall, if he would just do what I need him to do, when I need him to do it, the way I want him to do it in the first place...I wouldn't need to nag him. (Isn't that right, ladies?)

In matters of true need and not just "wishful thinking", perhaps it would be better to let your requests be made known to God first, and then as He directs you, share your thoughts with your husband.  "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him." (James 1:5) Then together you should discuss and pray about the best direction you should take to solve the problem.

However, if your request happens to turn into an argument or heated debate, remember this advice:

"Be angry, and do not sin": "Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil." (Ephesians 4:26-27).

In plain English, Don't go to bed mad! Settle your differences before you touch your head to the pillow at night. Don't let Satan get a foothold in your marriage. Once he finds that weak spot, he loves to keep rubbing it in! So don't give him a chance.

Lord, help me to not be like that leaky faucet...that irritating constant dripping. Help me to bring my requests to You first, and seek wisdom from You as to what the next step should be. I know You will lead me in the right direction always. Thank you for this timely advice. Amen.