The Second Chance...

• "Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.  See how great a forest a little fire kindles!" James 3:5

• "And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell." James 3:6
• "For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind." James 3:7
• "But no man can tame the tongue.  It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." James 3:8
• "With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God." James 3:9
• "Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so." James 3:10

Enuff Said!

Well, maybe...I always have a few things to add...

People who have known me most of my life will tell you "lovingly" that I have a propensity for opening my mouth and inserting my foot.  It's called "putting my mouth in motion before I put my brain in gear."  It's also known as not thinking before speaking...and it can get me into a lot of trouble!  That is one reason why I have taken up writing...my computer has a "delete" button...my mouth does not!  I can write something here and go back and look at it and re-read it and think about it before I push the "publish" button on my blog page.  I honestly do try to do that religiously...proofread, check for typos, check for spelling errors, and most of all...check for how honestly and kindly I have spoken in word and print.  Sometimes things slip through the cracks...I get in a hurry to get it finished and published so I can get to bed.  I hate to leave something unfinished to complete in the morning...I'm always afraid I will lose the "moment" and won't be able to complete the writing with the same fervor with which I started it.  But I am always thankful when I re-read something I've written and don't feel embarrassed by what I see in print.

Last night I made a mistake.  I spoke too quickly without thinking, partly in jest, but without weighing the possible ramifications and consequences that could happen by inflicting these remarks upon the heart of someone I love.  As soon as the words escaped my lips I knew I had said the wrong thing and that a barbed arrow had stricken the heart of my child. I could not recapture my words...the damage was done, and my son was gone...out the door...for a ride in his car...to escape before the hurt and anger my careless words had incited could flare up and respond back to me with fury.

When the full impact of what I had said and how it was taken hit me, I immediately repented in "dust and ashes"...but all that I could see was the dust stirred up by his retreating vehicle. Repeated attempts to call him on his cell phone elicited no response.  I knew I had made a horrible mistake. So all I could do was pray...pray to God confessing my error, asking forgiveness from God, and also asking God to help my son find forgiveness for me somewhere in his heart.  As I paced back and forth in my yard I pleaded to God to give me another chance to tell him how sorry I was...I prayed for his safe return and an opportunity to confess my mistake and ask for his forgiveness.  You can only imagine how grateful I was when I saw his car returning up the road a few minutes later.  Even though he was not quite ready to talk about it right away, after a few minutes he opened his door to me and let me back into his heart.  We had a wonderful mother-son talk, and cleared the air about things that were troubling him and me as well. It was a happy ending, with tears from both of us, and hugs and forgiveness.  Thank you, Jesus, for this second chance!

This morning my son left for his 40 minute commute to his job up the interstate highway.  He was in good spirits and I knew that everything was back to normal between us.  As he went out the door I told him to have a safe trip and that I loved him. He said he would be careful as always, and that he loved me too. 

Thirty minutes later he called us on his cell phone, crying and scared. He had just been in an accident. He was okay, his car was damaged but not totally destroyed as far as he could tell, but another vehicle involved in the accident did not fare as well...the driver of that vehicle was killed instantly when his van rolled and flipped and literally flew over my son's car and landed on the other end of it in the swamp alongside the highway.  My son jumped out of his car, unhurt, and called to the other vehicle, but there was no response. It was a horrible, grisly scene.  My son was alive...but someone else's son was not. 

Tonight I am praying for the mother and father and possible wife or children of that man, who remains unknown to us. My son was restored to me safe and sound...and with a second chance to live his life.  This other man was not given another chance.  I can only pray that he had left his home this morning with nothing left hanging between himself and his loved ones...or his Savior. I pray that tonight he his safe in the arms of Jesus...and that God Himself is comforting his family and undergirding them with His love and strength.

Tonight I will hug my son again and tell him how much I love him, and how thankful I am that God has spared his life for whatever purpose He desires.  I will again thank the Lord for giving me a second chance to repent and be forgiven for words spoken in haste.  I will think before I speak again...and pray before I put my mouth in motion.  I may not get another chance next time.

"Mi Casa Es Su Casa" -Recycled from August 2010

I was just thinking about this earlier post, originally published about a year ago.  Thought it was worth "recycling" again.  Hope you enjoy and will think about the ideas at the end...maybe God is nudging YOU to open your door to someone experiencing difficult times in their lives...We are called to share what God has given us with those in need...so perhaps this will be a challenge to someone today...Just a thought...

"The Cabin", as drawn by my Dad, William F. Mursch, circa 1939

When I was just a little girl living on the farm in Pennsylvania, the highlight of each year was the annual corn roast at my grandparents' log cabin in the forest. My dad, grandfather, and uncles would all gather in fresh sweet corn from the fields and carry it over to "The Cabin", as it was affectionately called, for a family reunion. All the cousins, aunts, uncles, great uncles and great aunts, and grandparents would come together for a day of feasting and celebration. We children would play hide and go seek, climb trees, swing on the swing, eat, and see what kind of mischief we could get into. It was the kind of day in which happy family memories are made.


Unfortunately, "The Cabin" was sold to another family when my grandparents retired and moved to Florida and the family clan dispersed to various distant parts of the country. But the sights, sounds and smells of those happy days have lingered in my mind for all these years. When I grew up and got married, I told my husband that if we ever had an opportunity to do so, we would have a log cabin or home to share with our family and friends in the same way that my grandparents had done.

A Birdhouse Model of  "The Cabin", built by my son

Throughout our years of serving in the ministry we not only personally experienced, but also witnessed among our colleagues a real need for a "haven of rest" or a place of refuge from the stresses and strains of life in the "goldfish bowl" of the parsonage. Many dedicated servants of God suffer greatly from "burn-out" and have even had to leave the ministry because of the overload of stress on their families and homes. Oftentimes the course they decided to take could have been changed if they had only had an opportunity to get away from it all for a little while for a refreshing vacation. Unfortunately, most ministers live on a very strict budget and are unable to afford a Disney vacation or even a week at the ocean or the mountains or a cruise to the Bahamas. The only vacation most clergy families get might be a trip to visit the relatives in another state, which is hardly ever relaxing or restful!

It has long been our desire to provide such a place of refuge for those who need it the most; a "home away from home" where a worn out pastor and his wife and family could rest and read and walk and talk and relax in whatever way they found helpful. A place where the telephone (including cell phone, laptop) and the television would not get in the way of their time of communing with God and with each other. Nothing could make us happier than to be able to hand a haggard looking minister and his equally exhausted wife the keys to our home and tell them to just "enjoy"! We know from experience what a blessing even just a few days away from the pressures of a busy ministry can be in the life of the pastor and his family.

A further area of need we personally have experienced is that of the family who has been through traumatic illness or injury. Quite a few years ago now, our eighteen year-old son was diagnosed with having a brain tumor. Fortunately for him, his was not a malignant tumor, but the ordeal of major brain surgery and consequent changes in lifestyle for our son and for us, along with the accumulated medical bills, added more stresses to an already overstressed home. We were so blessed in that our son survived and went on to get married and have a son and a happy, productive life. However, just recently he has been diagnosed with another form of cancer, and is going through chemotherapy and all the misery and uncertainty that goes along with that. Even though he has a strong marriage and family support, this is a very traumatic time in their lives.** Oftentimes following such a difficult experience, many families simply break up. They can't cope with the sorrow and pain. I know from our own experience that there were many times when we really needed to get away from it all and have some time alone to cry, pray, think, and hope. However, when faced with insurmountable medical bills and other expenses adding up daily, how could we even think of getting away? We were extremely thankful when some loving friends opened their vacation cottage to us and told us to "enjoy".

The one phrase that has stuck with me from my years of studying Spanish in high school is "Mi casa es su casa", which means, "My house is your house." I have so often wished that we could have such a place to share with others in this way; a home where the door would always be open for those who need to get away from it all. A cottage or a cabin or even a spare guest room, and a welcoming invitation... Even though we are now buying a home, it is rather small and not conducive to having a lot of company. However, I’m not giving up the dream...one of these days I do believe God will make a way possible for us to do exactly what we have dreamed of doing, and when He does, I hope you will be around to hear me say, “Mi casa es su casa,” Enjoy!!

 Perhaps you have a such a place that could be a blessing to a family going through some kind of crisis, burn-out, or who just need a place to get away.  Maybe God is speaking to you about sharing your home, cottage, cabin, timeshare, or even an RVwith someone for whom it could be a life-saver...or marriage saver!  Think about it...pray about it...and if the idea could work...call your Pastor or someone you know and make the offer..."Mi Casa Es Su Casa"...Enjoy!!!  It could be the best gift you ever gave.

**UPDATE 5/10/2018: An update regarding our son mentioned above when this was originally written...sadly our precious son passed away from his four year battle with cancer in 2014. The need for a place to rest and be ministered to was very real for us then, and still is today....and our dream is still to provide such a place for others going through this difficult time of sorrow.  Our current home has a guest room, but we are still somewhat limited as to being able to make it available to others since we still have other family members living in our home. Still praying for that special little guest cabin to become a reality. Keep praying!!

Surprise Packages...

"Praise the LORD with the harp; Make melody to Him with an instrument of ten strings. Sing to Him a new song; Play skillfully with a shout of joy..." Psalm 33:2-3

The past week I had some "minor" surgery..."minor" only in the sense that it wasn't "major"...not a serious illness or problem...but something that needed to be "fixed", nonetheless.  And yet, anytime we place our bodies under the complete control of others, i.e.; doctors, anesthesiologists, nurses, nursing assistants, dieticians, etc...it is a "major" situation requiring the guidance and complete control of the One Who sees all and knows all and is all powerful...God Almighty.  Without Him, my "minor" surgery could have become a "major" problem.  So, I pause to give thanks, and to praise Him for His marvelous acts of kindness on my behalf. 
I can truly say with the Psalmist:

"I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears."  Psalm 34:4

Blessed be the Name of the Lord!

So, I am taking some time off from work and my daily duties and am recovering, one day at a time.  I am thankful for this time at home with my husband and two of my sons.  They have blessed me with their constant attention and ready and willing assistance (most of the time :)).  I am being spoiled, and I love it...and I think I deserve it, don't you?  :)    Seriously, I am so thankful to have my family here with me...all except for our #2 son, Matthew and his wife Nicole and our grandson, Noah, who live in Maine...too far to come for now.  But, after the year Matthew has had with his own illness...I am just thankful to know he is there, alive and well and enjoying life again! That is comfort enough for me.

Right now I am being especially blessed by some special "music" from my youngest son,  (#3 ) who recently came back home to live with us after being away and working up north for over a year.  #3 son is a unique individual (aren't we all?)...with varied talents and a gift for being very creative in a way that others may not readily see or understand.  Oftentimes the outside world never sees the inside heart and soul of a person like him, because he keeps it covered with feelings of lack of self-confidence and fear of someone discovering what is really going on under the surface and exposing his more tender side. This has always been a frustration to me as a mother, because I could  see the true talents waiting there to be discovered, but others totally missed it because he didn't meet up to their standards of ability and/or behavior.  When he was in elementary school he struggled to keep up in some areas, and yet excelled in so many others.  Unfortunately, the areas in which he struggled to keep up were the ones deemed more important to the testing authorities in "higher education".  So, that lack of confidence coupled with our frequent moves due to our service in the ministry, created a difficult educational atmosphere for our son, and he eventually dropped out of school.  After wandering around both emotionally and spiritually for a few years, he finally persevered and completed his high school diploma by taking and passing the GED exam the first time around.  I won't say that solved all his problems, but it helped restore some of his self-esteem and confidence and it was a very positive step in the right direction.

Scott, (#3), at age 11 playing the organ at Grandma and
Grandpa's house

So, anyway, to sum this up...recently when my father passed away, our son asked if there was anyway I could get the electric "Wurlitzer" organ at my parents' home.  All of the grandkids and great-grandkids loved playing this organ when visiting at Grandma and Grandpa's house, but our son had a special affinity with this instrument. You see, he spent several years living there with my parents and helping with the caregiving while my mother was failing and then also when my father was left alone after her death.  Although "#3" never had any real music lessons, he has this creative drive to make music within, and claimed that playing the organ was a form of "therapy" for him after a long day at work.  Fortunately for those around, the organ works beautifully when the player uses headphones...and this gives the instrumentalist the freedom to make any kind of music he so desires without bothering anyone else.  I always assumed this was a really good thing when our son was playing, knowing the style of music he seemed to like best.  :)

Scott (#3) today- a surprise package!

However, since our son has come home, and yes, the organ is now a part of the very crowded furnishing of our home,  he has actually taken off the headphones so that we can hear what he is playing, and we have been blessed.  I have been very pleasantly surprised at the beautiful and calming music that he has been playing for me each evening since I came home from the hospital. The melodies are soothing and tranquil, peaceful and comforting.  No, he doesn't read music...he has no idea what he is playing in the technical sense...but in the realm of melody and tone, the music is heavenly.  A gift from God...whether he realizes it or not.  It is one of those unique presents that has true presence...the presence of God's Spirit ministering to my soul. And I give thanks.

Sometimes gifts come in surprise packages....

"I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continuously be in my mouth."  Psalm 34:1

Rainy Days Are Meant for Family Time UPDATED 2-20-2015

SEE THE  2-20-2015 UPDATE AT THE END OF THIS ORIGINAL POST, WRITTEN ON 7/10/2011




"I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me."  Psalm 13:6

July 10, 2011:

I love rainy afternoons...and it seems like we've had a few here recently...which is much appreciated after a season of drought.

What do you like to do on a rainy afternoon?  When I am at home and not working I love to do several different things when it is cloudy and rainy and cozy inside my house.  One, I love to cook and bake.
Two, I love to read and sip hot cups of tea and stay in my comfy pj's. Three, I love to write this blog...

What is even more fun is when the family is home with me and we can do things together on a rainy afternoon...like play a game, or watch a movie, or bake cookies together!

Now, you must understand that I live in a house full of men...having a husband and three sons I have always been outnumbered.  And now, even though one of my sons is married, they had a son also...so the men still outnumber the girls. Oh well, I am very thankful for ALL the wonderful men in my life...and the one daughter in law as well!

Recently our #3 son decided to move back home from New Hampshire...said he didn't want to face another winter up there living in the cold basement of his friend's apartment with barely enough work (as a cook at a restaurant) to survive and keep warm...so he took his chances and came back home.  Fortunately, he found a job the first day he got here and so far so good!  One of the benefits of having son #3 back home is that he loves to cook and bake in addition to working on his car, doing lawn maintenance for a living, and fixing things very creatively...(but that's another story). 

So today, being a rainy afternoon, he suggested that we make Grandma Mursch's (my mother) famous Orange Cookies! Now, this is a family treat that my mother lovingly made for her family (and especially the grandkids) every chance she could.  It was her special recipe that was always in demand for bake sales, parties, and just because.  Many people have requested her recipe (and actually, it originated from a bakery in Pennsylvania, but it was given to her when we moved to Florida in the 50's), but few people have been able to duplicate it as perfectly as she.  You see, Mama always said the secret to making good Orange Cookies was in the way you "folded in the buttermilk".  If you didn't "fold in the buttermilk" just right, the cookies would go flat. 



Me and My boys baking cookies...circa 1979
Front to Back: Matt, Benton, Scott, Me

I was, of course, delighted to have my old cookie-baking son-buddy back home again. We have baked cookies together ever since he was old enough to lick the batter from the beaters...but this was the first time he had ever asked to try his hand at this particular recipe.

I will post the progression of our baking time together here...and you can judge for yourself if this was a worthy way to spend a rainy afternoon with one of my handsome, sweet sons...

Mixing up the cookies...2011

Scott ~ Sampling the Batter...yep, it's good!

Folding in the buttermilk

"now be sure to fold in the buttermilk this way",  I can almost hear my mother saying...



Yeah, You got it!  Just don't over-do it or they'll go flat!!



Oh, man! They sure smell good! 

Next you have to frost the cookies with an orange-flavored glaze...I can't wait to taste them...

easy does it...just a thin glaze

Oh, please...can I eat one now?  They look perfect!!!!

Ready, set...go....!

Oh Yeah....They are GREAT!!!!!

(remember to click on the picture to enlarge, then back-arrow to return to blog)

This is the original recipe typed by my mother....pretty priceless way to spend a rainy day, wouldn't you say?

My Mom on the 4th of July, 2001.
Sure do miss you, Mom!!!
Love,
Pam

Yes, "I will sing unto the Lord, for He has dealt bountifully with me!!!"

NOW GO HERE FOR THE LINK TO THE UPDATE WRITTEN ON 2-20-2015. 

I'm a Little Teapot

My New Red Teapot!

I have a confession to make...I NEED a whistling tea-kettle!  Why do I NEED a whistling tea-kettle?  Because I have tendency to occasionally fill my teakettle full of water, put it on the stove, turn the stove on to high, and go off and forget that I did that!  Now, I know none of the rest of you are guilty of ever doing anything that stupid...and I'm certain that none of you have ever gone so far as to let a teakettle boil dry...so I'm sure that none of you can relate to my problem!  My comment to you today is...Just wait!  Sooner or later, if you ever even use a teakettle without a whistle, you will understand why some of us NEED a whistling teakettle!

Therefore, even though the truth is that I did not let my former teakettle boil dry...the whistler broke off some time ago...and I've noticed the past few times that I've put the teakettle on to boil that I have only discovered it boiling just in the nick of time...before it totally boiled dry...and there wasn't enough water left in the kettle to even make one cup of tea!  So, before tragedy strikes...I decided to do something about it...and I went out and bought myself a new teakettle...a whistling teakettle, that is also BRIGHT RED...so that I will not only hear it whistling, I will also notice it sitting brightly on my stove, all red and shiny and new, and I will pay more attention to it before something bad happens to it!

I know some of you probably have no clue what I am talking about, but I thought I would share my confession with you today...and perhaps there may be someone who may smile and say, "Oh yes, I perfectly understand!"

http://kids.niehs.nih.gov/lyrics/teapot.htm    click on this link and enjoy a little song that some of you may have learned way back in kindergarten.  Now, go put on your teakettle full of water, and listen to it shout and sing!! (and hopefully whistle!)

Enjoy!!!

"You Otter Be In Maine"

I love the title of this blog today...it came from a notepad that we were given way back when we used to live in Maine...and I have just one page of it left...in my Bible, with a few scribbled notes and scripture references jotted down on the dog-eared piece of notepaper, which is now being used as a Bible bookmark.

What is interesting is that a couple of weeks ago in my morning devotions I was reading the prescribed scripture reading for the day in II Corinthians 8:1-9, and I kept on reading down through verses 10 and 11 as follows:

"And in this I give advice: it is to your advantage not only to be doing what you began and were desiring to do a year ago; but now you also must complete the doing of it; that as there was a readiness to desire it, so there also may be a completion out of what you have..."

As I read those verses, I had to scratch my head and try to figure out, "Now, what was I desiring to do a year ago that I must now complete?"  Hmmm...I'm not sure...except that we had gone up to visit our son and family in Maine because he was in the beginning battle against the aggressive cancer that had just previously been diagnosed in his abdomen.  I know the desire of my heart at that time was to be with him and try to help him and his family in some way...but because we had major issues of our own here at home to deal with we weren't in any position to be of much help at that time.  Thank the Lord, Matthew successfully completed his course of chemotherapy and now, a year later, seems to be managing amazingly well, all things considered. He still has some residual issues, but we are trusting God for his complete healing.

But, back to the scripture reading for that day...here we are a year later, and we still have the desire to be closer to our kids in Maine and also one in New Hampshire.  A lot of things have changed in our circumstances here in the past year.  My dear father recently passed away, my mother-in-law has moved up to live with her other son and family, and my husband has just lost his job and had to take an early retirement (such as it is) to try to survive until (or if) he can find other appropriate employment.  I have a good job, but without any health insurance benefits, which, at our age, is crucial. 

So, anyway, a few days after reading those particular scripture verses and contemplating just what God was trying to say to us, I was turning in my Bible to find the new reading for that day, and this piece of paper fell out of my Bible that said, "You Otter Be In Maine".  I showed it to my husband, and we both laughed at the funny picture of the little otter in the corner of the page and said, "yeah, we otter be in Maine if we could figure out how to get there."  Well, then I looked at the words I had jotted down on that note at some point in time...(it's dated July 2, but without the year)  and it was a scripture reference and my scribbled note of that verse....yep, you guessed it...

2 Corinthians 8:10-11 "Do what you began and were desiring to do a year ago (complete the doing of it..."

There were a couple of other things written on there at different times as well..."June 17th: Matt. 5:33-37..."Let your yes be yes"...and a note "Divine counseling at night"...and "Little girl, get up!"  (I believe I was listening to T.D. Jakes on TV when I wrote that note).

So now...what does one do with such messages being put before them in such a strange way?  Well, if you are people like us, you start praying and asking God just what He is trying to tell you.  I don't believe in coincidences...I look for God literally in everything I do...especially when it happens in an unusual way.  Now, I don't want my family to panic, or my employers to get nervous, or friends to tell me I'm crazy...but I have to consider that there may be a message here for us...and I am the type of person who prefers to listen to what God may be saying.  Of course, there needs to be some corroborative action on His part to convince me further before I pack my bags and move...but I want to be ready for action..."ready to go...ready to stay...ready to do His will..."  (from an old hymn entitled, "Ready", written by A.C. Palmer back in the mide 1800's)

I guess what I am trying to say here is, don't be surprised if God moves us back to Maine in the near future. I don't know anything specific yet...and I am not even sure it would be smart at this age to move back into those long, frigid winters when I am already living where most of the population of Maine would probably prefer to be (at least in the winter)...but I am open to God's leading.  I am listening for His voice...and if I hear "you otter be in Maine" again, I may have to start packing...

What would you do?

Ben's Country Woodshop has some new ideas!

We haven't posted much lately from Ben's Country Woodshop, because our chief woodcrafter was busy helping to care for his elderly grandfather, who recently passed away.  Now Ben is getting ready to tune up his saws and drills and get back to work...so we have posted a few new items and some neat ideas on the page for Ben's Country Woodshop.  Check it out and give us some ideas of your own. We are looking for some unique ways to repurpose and rejuvenate some old furniture and items and bring them back to life. We'll be posting some of those ideas in the upcoming weeks and months, so stay tuned!! Thanks!!

You may just see a pile of old chairs and stacks of wood,
but I guarantee you there is great potential waiting to be
re-discovered there.  This may be the new chapter in the life of
Ben's Country Woodshop...so keep watching for updates!

I love this bucket of antique china doorknobs...they are from old
"Closed Doors" waiting to be re-opened!  Can't wait to see what they will become in their new life!

Be sure to click on the pictures to enlarge for details.

See you over on "Ben's Country Woodshop" page....

A New Dawn...A New Beginning...



Sunrise on a new beginning

 Ecclesiastes 11:7 "Truly the light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to behold the sun..."

This morning I beheld the sun rise on the ocean...one of my most favorite things to do...Not only for its beauty and magnificence...which is beyond description...but for its promise...

"Promise of what?" you may ask.  Promise of re-creation...a new day...a new beginning...a fresh start...
   Promise of redemption...of hope...of forgiveness...of renewal...of salvation...
       Promise of a future...fulfillment... life everlasting...joy...peace... love...eternity

"All of this you see in the sunrise?"   Yes, all of this...and much much more.  Every day the sun rises on this earth...every day we have a new opportunity to live, to laugh, to love...to give life, to give laughter, to give love...to offer hope, forgiveness and salvation...every day that we have life...we have all this and more.

Today I beheld the sun rise on my life...and I felt the SON rise in my heart.  For it is the SON Who rises within my soul Who gives this hope, forgiveness, love, peace, joy, fulfillment, a future, redemption and salvation...it is the SON Who enables me to laugh, to receive and offer hope, to dream and see dreams come true, to forgive and be forgiven...without the SON in my life I would be hopeless, loveless, joyless...and lost.

Yes, today I beheld both the SUN rise and the SON rise on the dawning of a new day...and I have hope.

"The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows His handiwork. Day unto day utters speech, and night unto night reveals knowledge.  There is no speech nor language where their voice is not heard.  Their line has gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world.  In them He has set a tabernacle for the sun, which is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, and rejoices like a strong man to run its race.  Its rising is from one end of heaven, and its circuit to the other end; And there is nothing hidden from its heat."  Psalm 19:1-6

"O LORD, our Lord, How excellent is Your name in all the earth, Who have set Your glory above the heavens!"  Psalm 8:1 

"This is the day the LORD has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24 Amen.

Another Closed Door? Or an Open Window...

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a futre and a hope."   Jeremiah 29:11

The picture of the plaque to the left is the original image that inspired the title of this blog, "Closed Doors, Open Windows".  Years ago a young lady, who was a member of our church youth group, cross-stitched that picture and gave it to me as a gift.  I was very taken back by this gift, as well as by the giver...as she was one of our more troubled youth at the time...a young girl who had seen more than her share of slammed doors and perhaps "broken windows" in her young lifetime.  I remember wondering at the time how a girl I had perhaps misjudged because of her outward appearance and sometimes inappropriate behavior could have such a mature insight into a message that became so encouraging and precious to me as the days and years have passed by since.  God knew then what I couldn't see...and He inspired a wayward young teenager to send me a message from His heart...that still amazes me today, some 23 or more years later.  I've lost track of that young woman...have no clue whatever happened to her after we left that church.  I can only pray that somehow this act of kindness shown toward me, her pastor's wife, also had a lasting and profound impact on her life...and helped her to seek those open windows that led to peace and joyous life in Christ.

When I began to write this blog over a year and a half ago, I chose this as my title because I was in the middle of experiencing one closed door after another in my search for employment.  Finally, God opened a window of opportunity for me and has blessed my life in the process in so many different ways.  This blog itself, is an open window of opportunity, that has hopefully not only encouraged me, but has also been an encouragement to those who have taken the time to read it.

Now I find myself in the midst of another closed door...this time my husband's.  He was given some difficult news at his place of employment this past week which, due to no fault of his own, means that he is now exploring and searching for an open window of opportunity.  This comes at a very difficult time in our lives...(is there ever a good time to be unemployed?) and puts us in a real quandary about what the next step should be. 

I cling to the promise of the verse quoted above from Jeremiah 29:11...God is speaking to the Jews who have been in captivity, but I believe He is also speaking to us when He says,

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."

The Lord knows how much we long to be in that place of peace...and to have that hope of a good future...not something that is evil.  God has promised to care for us and to shelter us under His wings.  The Psalmist cries out to the Lord in Psalm 57...and I cry along with him:

"Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me! For my soul trusts in You; and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by."

The Psalmist then goes on to sing his praises to God in verses 5 and 11:

"Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; Let Your glory be above all the earth." 

verse 9-10 says,

"I will praise You, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing to You among the nations.  For Your mercy reaches unto the heavens, and Your truth unto the clouds."

So, here I am again, Lord.  I don't like the sound of that door that just slammed shut in our ears, but I am seeking Your face...and waiting for that open window of Your opportunity to appear.  We've been here before, and You did not fail us.  Therefore, I will continue to trust in You; and "in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge, until these calamities have passed by..."  Amen.

I just noticed that there is a bird sitting in that open window above..."Shadow of Your wings"...hmmm...maybe there was more to that little image than I realized...

Lord, I also pray for that young woman who so sweetly stitched that verse for me so many years ago.  I don't know where she is today, but YOU know.  I pray she is safe in the shadow of Your wings...and that You will bless her in a very special way today.  Amen.

The Day After Mother's Day

"Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God."  Ruth 1:16

Portions of this verse were actually sung at my wedding almost 42 years ago...and even though the song was intended as a message from the bride to the groom, the original scripture verse was actually spoken by a daughter in law (Ruth) to her mother in law (Naomi) after the death of Ruth's husband and Naomi's son.

This particular mother's day was very difficult for me, even though the day itself was pleasantly spent.  You see, on this Mother's Day, as I remembered my own dear mother who had gone on to be with the Lord exactly five years ago, I also was saddened by the departure of my mother-in-law from my home, who went to stay with her other son and family after being with us for the past six months. 

You may wonder why I was saddened...most people rejoice when their mother-in-law leaves town...and I must admit, in many ways it was actually a relief to me.  But on the other hand, it was a very difficult experience.  You see, my mother in law is showing all of the signs of increased dementia, and her departure from my home was extremely turbulent as she was overcome with anger mingled with fear and distrust of me and all others who had participated in her care in the recent past.  I must also admit that my own reaction to her anger towards me was not exactly sweet and controlled.  I responded like most anyone would respond when false accusations and allegations are hurled at them with such vehemence...and I know I must apologize to not only my mother in law, but to my Lord and Savior.  I regret that I was not able to "turn the other cheek" and speak softly and humbly in the face of such uncontrolled wrath.  Even though my response may have been justified at the time, it was still wrong and disrespectful of a dear woman that I have loved for all these years, and who, in her better days, also loved me as a daughter...not just a daughter in law.

This is the painful side of the effects of aging, dementia, and Alzheimer's disease.  The dear ones we have loved and cherished and enjoyed for many years suddenly become strangers to us...and this goes both ways...the one suffering from dementia views her loved ones as strangers and enemies, and her children and family also view her as a person they no longer recognize and understand.  She is not the same person we've always known and loved, and it becomes increasingly difficult for us to know how to deal with her unpredictable changes in behavior and mood each day.  It also becomes a concern for not only her safety, but our own safety and security in the home.  Oftentimes these behaviors can become so violent that one may actually fear for his life.

And so, difficult decisions have to be made...how to best care for one in such a condition as this.  In our case, we had done everything we were "permitted" to do for her physical and medical care.  When it became apparent that she was no longer going to accept our care and continue to trust us to help her, we had to make a decision to "pass the torch" onto the next in line...and let them try to move her on to the next level of care that is required to keep her protected, healthy and well treated.  Even though it may appear that we are happy to be relieved of our "duty", we are not celebrating.  We are grieving the loss of this dear one and the sweet kind of fellowship with her that we had previously enjoyed. 

Two weeks ago my own father passed away, and I am still grieving that great loss.  But sometimes I think there are some losses that are worse than death.  We never lost a feeling of love and trust with my Dad.  He was pretty much aware of us and enjoyed his family until the very end, as much as possible.  With my mother in law, I fear that we will not be able to enjoy that kind of fellowship ever again, even though she may live for many years to come.  And that is what grieves us today.

Lord, I confess to You today my inability to cope with the hurt that I experienced this past weekend in the relationship with my mother in law.  I pray that somehow she will understand that I truly do love her, and that someday we will be able to once again embrace and experience that love and trust.  Until then, please keep her safe from harm, and protect the dear ones who have taken on this awesome responsibility. May they have Your strength and patience and wisdom in becoming the new torch bearers. I pray this in the name of Jesus, the Great Physician and Burden Bearer.  Amen.