Original post written a few years ago...but it seems like I relive this "repeat performance" every year about this time...How about you? Is the pre-Christmas stress starting to get to you? Are things feeling more like they are falling apart than put together?...Read on and maybe we can get through this season together...
12/20/2017:
This morning was the day for our home Bible Study, and we have been lighting the candles on the Advent Wreath each week. Because our wreath is made of real pine boughs attached to wet florist's blocks, I keep it outside on the back porch during the week in between our gatherings so it won't dry out so much in the warm, dry house.This morning after replacing some of the pine boughs that were starting to die with fresh ones, I brought the wreath into the house to get it ready for our service. As soon as I set it down around the candles on the little table in our living room, it literally fell apart...some of the foam blocks fell to the floor, with the pine needles falling all over the place...and it was a MESS!! I quickly gathered the pieces back up and stuck them all back together as good as I could since I didn't have time to start over.
So here is the poor lopsided Advent Wreath, looking rather disheveled and worn...Kind of the way I feel about this time every year as we get closer to Christmas and I am not really ready...
I woke up this morning and said out loud (while still lying upon my bed) "I hate myself!" My husband was just barely awake and didn't quite understand what I said, so he asked me to repeat it. So I did...and he was quite perplexed, surprised and concerned. This is not a normal state of affairs for me, especially to say out loud before I even get out of bed! Actually, I don't think I've ever said that in my head or out loud. That's just not me. But I went to sleep last night thinking about all the things that I still need to do in the next few days before Christmas (too numerous to list here and I don't want you to know exactly how much I still need to do...)...and I woke up thinking about all these things and I just said out loud "I hate myself!" Why? Because I do this every single year! You would think I would have learned by now not to put off so much until the last week before Christmas and then end up in a panic having a meltdown in the middle of a department store because I can't find what I want and I don't even know what I want even if I could find it and when I do find it I know I really don't want that after all, but in desperation I have to get something!!! And just like that Advent Wreath, I fall apart and look disheveled and worn and just wish I could crawl away somewhere and hide until Christmas is all over.
I wonder how Mary, the mother of Jesus, felt the week before Christmas.
There she was, technically a betrothed but still unmarried young woman, great with child...(not by her betrothed husband to be, but by the Holy Spirit, so you can imagine how difficult that had been to explain to everyone...) and wouldn't you know it was time to travel to Bethlehem to be counted in the census? I'm not sure just how long that trip was, but you can only imagine, even five miles would be too far to travel on the back of a donkey when you are nine months pregnant. And then, to finally arrive in Bethlehem only to discover that all the hotel rooms were taken, and there was no room for them in the Inn, so the only place they could stay was in a smelly, dirty animal stable, with the dirty, smelly animals standing by. Can you imagine how Mary must have felt? Talk about being rather disheveled and worn and weary...and then to go into labor and actually give birth to your baby right there in that stable with the animals watching? And there were no midwives or doctors or nurses available to help with the labor and delivery...no medicine to block the pain...no clean bed to lay upon...and only your betrothed there to attend to you...a man whom who truly have not known in that kind of intimate way...
If I had been Mary, I wonder if I could have been so cool, calm, and collected at the birth of my first child? Probably not, judging by the way I've been acting this week before Christmas...
But perhaps if the angels had come to tell me about the birth of my baby in the first place...and then if the angels had come to sing praises at His birth...and the shepherds had come to bow down and worship Him
...maybe I would have a different attitude...perhaps I wouldn't be so focused on the peripheral "stuff", but would be truly worshiping and adoring the Child sent to me by God...God's Gift to me...and to the whole world...and I would be singing with the angelic choir..."Gloria in excelsis Deo"...Glory to God in the Highest...and Peace, Goodwill to men...
So, after thinking about this, maybe I just need to pull myself together, get my self organized, and just get out there and "shine"...
Like this Advent Wreath, after straightening up the candles, pulling the pine boughs back together as well as possible, we read the verses about the Angels announcing Jesus' birth to Mary, Joseph, and the Shepherds...and then we lit the candles and let it shine forth in the darkness.
Yes, that's what I need to do. There isn't much time left...but after giving myself this little "pep talk", I think I can go out with a new and brighter attitude...and a song of joy in my heart as I go about my activities of preparation for the celebration of the birth of Jesus, our Savior and Lord!!!
"Hark the Herald Angels sing, Glory to the Newborn King!"