The grieving process is not something I really want to go through. However, whether I like it or not, it is happening. Rather than write a whole dissertation about the stages of grief, I thought perhaps I would look up some things that are already written and give some links for you (and me) to check out. You may see yourself in this information...and I may see myself as well. So here goes:
1. Click here for the "5 Stages of Loss Grief" from Psychcentral.com
4. Wikipedia article on the Kubler-Ross Model of Grief
These are just a few of the articles I discovered when I googled "Stages of Grief". I am sure there are many more, but these definitely hit the highlights.
One thing I am certain of, when we experience the loss of a loved one, whether it be through death, divorce, or other kinds of difficult separation...we will each one experience grief in one form or another. What I am discovering is that it may be different for each individual, but regardless of the order in which it happens, or the severity of the grief itself, sooner or later every person suffering a loss will grieve. It may take you by surprise. You may not recognize that your behavior and thought process has changed in subtle ways. You may deny that you are grieving at all. You may think it is a sign of weakness or lack of faith that you are feeling the way you are. Or you may become critical of others who show more outward signs of grieving and may think that they need to "get over it". Just because you are not demonstrating your grief for others to notice does not mean that you are not grieving internally. Actually, I believe the ones who open up and let it out will be healthier in the long run than those who try to stifle the grief and hold it inside. Sooner or later it will catch up with you, possibly manifesting itself in physical illness, emotional breakdown, or depression.
I find writing to be good therapy for grief...and perhaps this article is meant to do just that...provide therapy for myself. I also believe that we should try to turn our grief into some kind of positive action. Some may not be able to do that for awhile, but the sooner we can reach out in some way to use our grief experience to encourage and help others going through a similar trial, the better we will feel.
First my husband wanted a simple plaque that read, "In Loving Memory of Matthew E. Steiner", and he wanted it placed in our yard, just as a reminder to never forget our son and brother.
Then, I thought there needed to be more than just a plaque that really didn't identify exactly WHAT was in loving memory, so I said we needed to place the sign in a garden or some special location in our yard that would be designated as a place of remembrance.
Next, our sons thought we needed a place to actually sit and pray or meditate on God's Word, or read or just enjoy the peacefulness of the place. So the carpenter son went to work:
And then, thanks to a wonderfully talented and kind friend, a very special wind chime was created that actually represents our son in a unique way:
|The Dove of Peace|
|A Maine Moose|
|A beautiful sunburst|
|Family coming together to hang the chimes|
|A place of peace and quiet and prayerful meditation|