Letting Go

Yes, I did it! I am still reeling from the euphoria of the realization that I am truly retired from the "working world".  The reality won't fully hit me until next week when I don't have to get up early and jump in the car for the long 45 minute drive to work each day.  As I drove home yesterday I found myself thinking that I would never pass that way again...which is silly, because I am certain I will travel into the city many times in the future...but it will never be with the same purpose or intensity of thought about the day ahead (or the day behind on the way back home). 

I also thought about the young teenage boy that I had been praying for over the past several years Click HERE for that Story and the sequel to it HERE.  I haven't seen him for quite some time at his usual bus stop...perhaps he has now started driving himself to school.  The last time I did see him he still looked like he needed some encouragement and prayers, so I have continued to pray for him each day whether or not he was there.  Now I probably won't remember to do that...and that saddens me...but I deliberately "released" him into God's capable hands as I passed his road.  I should have done that sooner...but I kept thinking that God was depending on ME to be the one to pray. 

In the process of "letting go" of my job and releasing it into the very capable hands of my successor, I have found myself having sleepless nights, thinking of so many little details that I needed to tell her so that she would be able to do her job successfully.  Finally I had to realize that I could not continue to lose sleep over worries of things that were no longer under my control. I am trying very hard (without much success yet) to let go and let GOD direct her as she learns the job and takes ownership of all the responsibilities involved. This woman is very intelligent and competent...exactly who God has chosen for this position...and I must surrender my feelings of ownership and PRIDE. (yes, that is what it is).  Oh, and remember THIS STORY?  and THIS Picture: 

I had said in the above linked post that I would probably leave this picture behind in my office unless I saw that my successor did not appreciate it the way I did...and so I asked her what she thought of it, and she loved it...especially when I told her my little story behind it and its significance to me.  So, that clinched the deal as far as I was concerned as to whether or not she was meant to be there...but again...that was GOD'S deal, NOT MINE!

My son, the sign-maker, said to me yesterday that he was going to create a sign for me that said simply, "LET IT GO".  That is probably not a bad idea. I need to hang it on my mirror, on this computer, over the kitchen sink, and on my bedroom ceiling so I can see it when I lay there awake at night unable to "let it go".   I never realized just how much I thought I had to be in control until this week when I finally handed over the keys to the "kingdom" of my office and walked out that door, never to return in the same capacity again.

So now, as I practice this new act of letting go of what has been my world for the past almost six years, I am asking the Lord, "What next?" But perhaps I ought to be asking Him to forgive me for thinking that I need to be in control of my life and the world around me. That responsibility belongs totally to God.

As Moses prayed to the Lord in Exodus 33:13 ~

"Now therefore, I pray, if I have found grace in Your sight, show me now Your way,

that I may know You and that I may find grace in Your sight...

And God responded in verse 14:

"And He said, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."

Ahhhhh, REST....YES, LORD....THAT is EXACTLY what I need right now...as well YOU know! Yes, sweet rest...when I LET GO and LET GOD, I will find rest. Where have I heard that before?

"Come to ME, all you who labor and are heavy laden, 

and I will give you REST.

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me,

for I am gentle and lowly in heart, 

and you will find REST for your souls.

For My yoke is easy 

and my burden is light."

(Words of Jesus Christ found in the book of Matthew 11:28-30)

I keep saying that I want to provide a place of rest for others who are weary from their burdens and sorrows in life, and that is still my ultimate goal for "retirement", but before I am able to offer this gift to others, I need to learn it for myself. 

So to sum this post up and get to bed for the night, I am going to try harder to "LET IT GO"....AND "LET GOD" take the full control of my mind and heart and life...and allow Him to give me that rest that He so desires to give me.  Then perhaps I will be better prepared for whatever comes next.

I am letting go...and letting God...

Good Night my friends.

Sleep Tight...