Dear Friends, I originally wrote this post ten years ago today, May 25, 2014, on the day that our precious son Matthew entered heaven's gates. Since that day we have grieved over the loss of his presence in our lives, but we have rejoiced in knowing where he is and that we will see him again some day. Since that day at lot has changed in our lives...we are all ten years older, and getting closer to heaven's gates ourselves. One day we will experience what Matthew has already been enjoying for these past ten years. I am certain he will be at the gates with Jesus, ready to welcome us "home". Who knows? Maybe he has even had a part in helping to build our "mansion" in heaven...he always loved to draw house plans...but that house will be built with materials that last for eternity...no need of paint or plumbing or new roof shingles there...and no need for any more "good-byes". Yes, we miss him here oh so much, but I wouldn't call him back to earth for anything. He is living where the roses never fade and the body never grows old again. I look forward to that day. But until then, we carry on with our lives and try to live the way Christ leads us to live. I pray that our lives will always reflect His great love.
Here is the original post written ten years ago:
Today begins an exciting new chapter in the life of Matthew Everette Steiner. I repeat his full name...as it is a name that is ringing throughout the halls of heaven today! As soon as Matthew took his last breath here on earth, he gulped a breath of celestial air for the first time...and began his adventure in paradise. When he crossed over the threshold of those pearly gates, I believe there was a shout and there were victory dancers surrounding him as he was escorted through the streets of gold by the holy angels themselves. The saints of old were lining the streets, cheering and waving, calling out his name and welcoming him HOME. Yes, HOME...home at last. He was greeted and hugged by his grandparents and friends and ancestors who have gone on before...and then, best of all, he was presented to the One Who Died for him...his Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ Himself.
Oh, how I would have loved to have been a little birdie on the wall watching this amazing event! I would so love to have had just a glimpse of the joy on my precious son's face as he met Jesus face to face. To see him running and leaping through those jewel lined streets...strong and healthy and completely well! No more sickness, no more fear, no more dying... Set free and totally healed...never to suffer ever again.
Yes, I am sad. I will miss this laughing, happy, fun loving child of mine. I already miss hearing his voice. I am overcome with tears as waves of memories assail me frequently without warning. I am grieving for this great loss to our family and to his own sweet wife and son. There are no words that can describe what I am feeling adequately...but these word pictures do help me visualize the joy that he is experiencing...and I need to remember that. My son is whole again...no more dying there...he is worshiping the King of Kings...and singing praises with the angels in glory. Again I ask, "How could I NOT want this day to come?"
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| Matthew Everette Steiner...before the cancer struck him Healthy and whole...the way I expect he is today in heaven |
Lind to a previous post, with more links to other posts about Matthew's life.
Powerful words from one who truly lives the words she speaks. My heart is with you in the coming days dear Pam. Susie
ReplyDeleteThank you Susie. I know there will be difficult days ahead for me and for our family. We are high on the adrenaline of knowing that Matthew is whole and healed today. But I know we will miss him OH so much forever. Dear Lord, Please help me remember this picture of him today on those dark days ahead. Amen.
DeleteThis is so beautifully written! When we ask for healing and they are healed by entering the kingdom we have to rejoice! I rejoiced with you and I also shed a tear. Thank you for sharing your journey and my prayers are with you
DeleteSuch a picture of beauty in sorrow
ReplyDeleteThank you. I know there will be days that I will forget this picture and this beauty because I am human, and I am a mother. But this was written today to help me remember in the future when I forget. Thank you for visiting and understanding.
DeleteOh, Pam- you are so brave and beautiful. Thank you for being who you are in Him...and who you are is precious- it shows in your son's eyes and smile. May God continue to be be your joy and comfort in the days ahead. Love you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dawn. Not brave or beautiful really. Just learning to fully trust that God knows what is best in all things, even when it hurts. Without the hope of heaven, nothing would make much sense. Praise God for Jesus, our Savior, Sanctifier, Healer and Coming King. He calls the great ones home early because He has special work for them to do. I just wish I could see what Matthew is seeing right now. I know he is super excited.
DeleteThat keeps me going.
Truly, "we do not grieve as do the rest who have no hope" (1 Thess. 4:13). But we do grieve. May He hold you and the entire family close through these days. I loved the beautiful and true picture you painted of Matthew's homecoming. And at the right time, you will see him again!
ReplyDeleteYes, we do grieve...and will continue to do so. We will honor Matthew's memory in some way every day of our lives...but we would not wish him back. He has finally reached the goal of every Christian...to be home in heaven...with Jesus! There could be nothing grander or more marvelous than this! It just makes me more anxious to get there myself someday, in God's time. Until then, we'll keep telling others about this wonderful hope we have in Jesus. Such a privilege and honor.
DeleteYes, beautiful, Pam. I haven't gone where you are or where you are going, but I know He will walk with you. You know it too. As the tears roll down your face, lean into that grief, glad for your Matthew, but sad for his absence...as you learn to live in the presence of his absence here. I love you and continue to pray for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteYes, tears are a language that God understands...He created it for our benefit. Grieving is not a bad thing...and I expect I will learn all about it as I live through it day by day. But it helps so much knowing that my son is not suffering anymore...and that we WILL see him again someday. With that hope in our hearts, our grief cannot overwhelm us completely. It can only soften and smooth out our rough edges so that we become more pliable and useful in God's work here on earth. That is my prayer.
DeleteThank you Amanda. My strength comes only from the Lord...and yes, I know He WILL sustain us in the days ahead. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us...so I know He is present in my grief as well as my joy. That does help. Sometimes we just have to keep reminding ourselves and not forget His promises on those days when we don't feel His presence. He never lets go.
ReplyDeletePam, you have a strong and believing Soul! As one who had lost a son at 20, I can tell you you will grieve. Moreover, you carried Matthew inside of you for 9 months, you had more than a parental attachment. All I can tell you is to Look UP! Believe that he is good now and awaits our arrival at some point! Tears will come at different times. I have them even today about my Wes, 17 years later. I am so touched by your story and your strength. God Bless you and your family! Charlie Howe
ReplyDeleteOh thank you Charlie. Your message has really touched my heart. I know you have had your share of heartbreaks, and I pray God's comfort for you...even after 17 years. Thank you for your kind words.
DeleteDear Father God:
ReplyDeletePlease continue to wrap Your loving arms around Matt's family. Keep them close to you. When they begin to mourn, whisper words of comfort, strength, and courage into their ears. Be especially close to Pam as she goes through her time of grief. Help Matt's father as he goes through this bittersweet time. Please be there for Matt's wife. Please guide Matt's son through the tough times he will have as he grows into the man You want him to be. We will give You the praise. I ask these things out of Your grace for the Steiner family. In the name of Jesus, I pray. AMEN
Oh how I love this prayer. It has really spoken to my heart tonight. Thank you for being sensitive to the Holy Spirit and our needs. Blessings upon you my dear friend. Thank you.
DeleteSuch a strong person you are and such a touching story.
ReplyDeleteI know God is with you and you will see Matthew again some day.
Blessings to you.
Yes, it's hard to wish for our loved ones back when we rest in the knowledge of the wonderful life they now live in heaven. I too l look forward one day to seeing all my loved ones. Much love and hugs to you on this day of remembrance.
ReplyDeleteSorry, that 'Anonymous' was me, Joyful (Penny).
DeleteI'm so sorry for the loss of your son, but I'm so happy you know where he is and you will be with him again some day. And maybe you can introduce him to me when we are all up there together.
ReplyDeletePam: I missed a call today from a church friend. When I saw it, I felt I knew what it was about. Her family will meet with her sister's doctor to present to the family the need to decide to take her sister off life-support. I am going to print out this post and give it to my friend when the time is right.
ReplyDeleteHugs from one sister to another!
ReplyDeleteA lovely tribute to your son, Pam and a fitting 10 year memorial as well. Saying a prayer for you and the family.
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful tribute...keeping in prayer and sending you much love. Maybe we can see you on Thursday when we come up?
ReplyDeleteThank you. I guess I'd better talk to my son, who has not told me that you are coming on Thursday! LOL. I will have to send you an email about this as we have some appointments this week...TTYL
DeleteOh, Pam, you are such a wordsmith. I don't know if that's exactly the right term, but your words are so wonderfully woven ... positively brimming with comfort and even joy. You remind us that death is not to be feared. Not for the first time, I'm reminded of the title of a lovely book I read so many years ago, "Tears are for the Living."
ReplyDeleteWishing you and John and most blessed day.
PS - Sorry I couldn't comment last night; our internet was AWOL.
It takes such courage and faith to write/revisit the loss of your precious son, Matthew. You've allowed us such a personal and heartfelt glimpse of what he was like and the strong faith he had that ensured he would be in heaven with out Lord.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless you always, Pamela!
What a beautiful tribute to your son. You have such a wondeful way with words and I know that you meant every word. As a Mom, I don't think you will ever get past missing Matthew, but your words about Heaven are so touching and true. You would never ask him to come back to this evil and sin-filled earth. Isn't it a blessing and gift to know that soon we'll be with our loved ones who have gone before us? I can't wait and I know that you feel the same. Meanwhile, we fight the good fight right here around us. Telling all who will listen about God's love for each of us.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and love,
Betsy
That is a beautiful testimony to the wonderful promise we have through Jesus Christ. Great big hugs on the anniversary of his heavenly Home. Love to you all. 💙
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful, heartfelt tribute to your son and testimony of our Lord Jesus Christ, and the glorious and wondrous things that await us after we leave this frail earthly existence. I have no doubt that you will see your beloved son Matthew again. Sending you love and virtual hugs.
ReplyDeleteI long for HOME as well, and I love the way you described it!! So beautiful. I have family members there as well, and reading your description helped lessen the pain a little. Each day, month, year that goes by brings us that much closer to going home, and seeing our Savior face-to-face. What a glorious day that will be! Thinking of your wonderful son with you today. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteI remember the story of the miraculous healing in his younger years, the family friend, the doctor, and I think you had many extra years with him. Oh, Pamela. Hands holding yours.
ReplyDeleteDespite the passage of time, missing and loving your son, Matthew, will always be in your heart, Pam.
ReplyDelete