However, there are days when the constant repetition of chatter about things that I've heard so many times before in the very recent past become overwhelming. She doesn't realize that she's told me the same things over and over again, and it is easy for me to lose my patience as I nod and smile and act like it's all new news. I find myself biting my tongue and reminding myself inwardly not to blurt out that I've already heard that story today...and yesterday,..and last week...and the week prior to that, etc., etc., etc....because it would only cause hurt and anger and sorrow. It's not worth that to stop the litany of well known information.
So, this evening, while she was enjoying watching a baseball game with my hubby, (her son), I stole away into the kitchen to fix myself a cup of herbal tea...actually, I didn't have to sneak...she knows that I enjoy that cup of "Sleepytime" tea each evening while sitting in my chair reading a book while they watch TV. She actually even encouraged me to go have my cup of "comforting tea", as she calls it. And so I did.
At first I felt a little guilty about having this little tea party by myself, but then I remembered that she and I had actually enjoyed a cup of tea together this afternoon as we sampled the fresh baked, warm out of the oven banana nut bread that my mother in law had watched me mix up and put into the oven. We didn't use any fancy tea cups or tea pot, but it really didn't matter. She enjoyed that mug of hot tea and fresh banana nut bread like it was the best thing she'd ever eaten. We sat and chatted about this and that...whatever happened to pop into her mind at the moment (again!) and relaxed like two old friends at a tea party.
As I mused over my evening cup of "comforting tea" I did feel comforted that even though there are moments when I wish I could have total peace and quiet for a spell, the time spent together allowing her to talk about her childhood, loved ones who have passed on, and other things that are on her mind is far more valuable than my personal quietude. There will be plenty of other moments for me to rest and reflect after she has gone on to join her loved ones in heaven...and then I will wish that I could hear her laughter and see her smile as she tells me one more time something I already know.
Here is a little something gleaned from the pages of "Everything I Know I Learned Over Tea" ~
"A Loving Recipe for a Perfect Cup of Tea"