What Do You See Outside YOUR Open Window Today?

What Do You See Outside YOUR Open Window Today?
Remember: "When God closes a door, He always opens a window!" You never know what might be out there waiting for you!

Saturday, November 15, 2014

A Little This, A Little That

What do you do when you are feeling kind of hemmed in by circumstances beyond your control? You know, when you'd like to be out doing things you enjoy, but you've taken on a responsibility that is a bit confining, at least for awhile...and you struggle against feelings of rebellion because you can't do what you want to do...

You stop and realize that this minor restriction is only temporary...and that perhaps your little inconvenience might actually be something that is a huge blessing to someone who is very dear to you.  You put aside your selfish ambitions and do whatever it takes to bring a smile to another and restore a sense of security and peace to one who may be feeling a bit lost and alone.

You search for ways to include such a one in your normal routine so that he/she feels accepted, loved and useful again.

That may not always be an easy task, especially if the one you love is struggling with the onset of dementia and has had to leave his/her home, give up independence and become dependent upon others who are still very active,,,and who are trying very hard to understand the changes that are taking place in the one they love...

It isn't an easy task when the dear one truly dislikes having to become dependent, but cannot remember that he/she has told you the same thing over and over again several times in the last hour or even few minutes.  Or when it becomes obvious that the once strong, beautiful, generous and intelligent person no longer finds it possible to manage simple tasks or prepare food, drive a car, take proper medications, or take a shower without a struggle and a lot of fear.

A wonderful flea market find...a vintage bowl...
So you do a little of this, and a little of that...take short walks around the yard with the loved one instead of the long delightful walk you have always enjoyed morning and evening on your days off from work.  You find simple tasks that can be done without too much danger or confusion...such as putting the silverware and napkins on the table at mealtimes...drying a few dishes,  or folding some towels.

 Take a little ride and enjoy the beautiful scenery within a few miles of your home, but not venturing too far from places where one can stop for a restroom if necessary.  If possible, check out the local flea market and take a short walk in and out, looking at interesting items that may bring back memories of the "good old days".   Maybe even purchase something that seemed to bring a smile to a previously unsmiling face.

And a vintage sugar bowl...

These are little things that are simple to do now...but as the disease progresses we know that even these little things may become more and more difficult.  So...we thank the Lord for the good days that we have now. We take it one day at a time as far as any major decisions or plans for the future. We are thankful that we are sharing this load with other family members and not bearing the full responsibility alone.  We thank the Good Lord for the many years of blessing and joy this loved one has brought us...and the many ways she has blessed us with her love and generosity and kindness over the years.  I inwardly thank my mate who remembers to give thanks for this dear one at each meal while asking the blessing...and helping her to feel that love and appreciation for her presence with us.

Yes, a little this, and a little that...to help ease the moments that are sometimes awkward and frustrating and create instead moments of joy and laughter whenever possible.


That's what is really important. Not my selfish ambitions or my momentary inconveniences.

For previous thoughts on this subject go back here.

8 comments:

  1. A difficult task but also the only loving response possible, dear friend. Bless you as you bless.

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    1. Thank you Susie. There, but for a few more years down the road, could go I...and I pray I will have loving children to take care of me in whatever way is best. We try to remember during the difficult moments that this too, shall pass...and then we will be missing this dear one for a much longer time. Thanking the Lord for His gift of "patience"...and hoping He'll keep dishing it out to us as we need it!

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  2. I'm with you in this journey, Pam. I remember the days of respite care I did with my mother (giving my sister a much needed break), It's tricky right now, isn't it? I'm praying for you and absolutely know that you will do all things with grace and love (at least outwardly). And...before the month is over, I'll be living it with you. Then we can encourage each other from the inside on the weekends you get to have her. Like a cross-country support group.

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    1. Yes, Carolyn, I have had you in my heart and prayers as you prepare a special place for your "Grampie" to spend his last days in the midst of his family and those who love him. It is a privilege to be a part of that journey, but I will not kid you, it can be a very difficult journey...and there will be days that you will wonder "why did I do this?"...But stay focused on the love you have for him, and treasure him as the precious gift of God that he is...and it helps lighten the load. One moment at a time...bless him with your prayers and shower him with God's love. You can't lose that way.

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  3. Praying for you and your family, Pamela..may God bless you as you serve Him by serving others.

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    1. Thank you Sylvia. It is a privilege to serve...even when there are times when it is most exasperating. We try to focus on loving the one who is so precious to us, regardless of how she may be acting at the moment. Those times come and go...and we have to remind ourselves that we are doing this for the one who loved her family so much and gave so much for them...what less can we do for her now?

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  4. Pam: These days will become fond memories to you and your family as time goes by. Our friend Mary T took care of her husband for several years. I would go see them and he'd ask, "How are your boys,(husband and son)? He'd ask that same question, I believe, ten times in five minutes. When our son would go over there, the question was "How are your parents?" He'd ask with the same frequency. Both Mary and her husband are in heaven now, But I remember the times we spent together with fondness.

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    1. "Little is much, when God is in it..." Little kindnesses we can do now go a long way toward restoring peace and harmony within the home and within the spirit of the loved one who is struggling to find her place in life when she feels so displaced. I try to remind myself of this whenever I get frustrated or impatient. One step at a time. Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement today. Always so wise...

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