What Do You See Outside YOUR Open Window Today?

What Do You See Outside YOUR Open Window Today?
Remember: "When God closes a door, He always opens a window!" You never know what might be out there waiting for you!

Friday, August 16, 2019

A Happy Institution...or "The Funny Farm"? Updated for Our 50th Anniversary


Updated for our 50th Anniversary - Today! August 16, 2019
Marriage, An Honorable Institution...or "The Funny Farm"?

(This was originally written on 8/16/2011, but has been edited for our 50th Anniversary. 
The message is timeless)
Today is our 42nd  50th Anniversary!  Can you imagine? In this day and age, a couple who have actually been married to each other for 42  50 years?  Yeah, sometimes I wonder about that myself!  How did we do it?  You may be asking..."Has it all been perfect wedded bliss?"  Well, what do YOU think?  Anyone who knows me very well knows that most likely it has not been all perfectly lovely all the time.  I will be the first to admit it that I've not always been sweet and charming and obedient and submissive and all that stuff...but, on the other hand, I can honestly say that even when I wasn't all sweet and lovely and blah blah blah, and even when my husband wasn't always perfectly wonderful and full of wisdom and always doing the right thing...even when we were absolutely acting like two crazy human beings...we somehow always found a way to love each other...in spite of the mistakes and arguments and disagreements and disappointments and trials and tribulations and heartaches and fears and sorrows and betrayals and ....well the list could go on and on. Why?  Because I don't believe it is humanly possible for any two human beings to live together in perfect harmony for forty two  fifty years without having some times of hurt and pain and disappointment, and doubts and fears.  It just isn't possible...and if you say to me that you've been married that long and have never had a disagreement or disappointment or have ever had to say, "I'm sorry...", well, I would truly question your humanity!  I would seriously doubt you were for real!  I would think that perhaps someone is fooling someone somewhere 'cause it just "ain't possible!" 

The thing that I love most about our marriage is the fact that in spite of all the heartaches and disappointments and moves (and we are in the middle of a major move right now as I write this today, Aug. 16, 2019) (more moves than I care to number), and frustrations and embarrassments and all the other trials and tribulations...we can still laugh...we can still love...we can still say, "I'm sorry, please forgive me...and "Yes, I forgive you..."  We can still lay our heads down on our pillows at night and no matter how awful the day has been...how angry we might have been, how tired we might be...we have always tried to live up to the one vow we took very seriously in the beginning...
"Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil!"  Ephesians 4:26

If I could give one piece of advice to any newly married couple it would be exactly that verse...if more couples could heed the wisdom of that one verse and practice it in their homes, how many marriages and homes could have been saved?  I know there are always exceptions and people who are just downright evil and mean and cruel...so I cannot give this advice to someone who has been trapped in an abusive situation...but to the normal everyday couple...if they would just try to practice this advice...kiss and make-up before your eyes shut for the night...even if you have to settle the issue the next day...at least agree to love one another in peace and let God bring needed rest and healing to your hearts throughout the night.  It is amazing how much clearer and better your thoughts are in the morning. 

I am not some "Pollyanna" who thinks just wishing and thinking good thoughts can make it so...but I do believe in the power of love and prayer.  Commit your way to the Lord...give your heartaches to Him each night...even if your spouse refuses to agree or change...YOU do your part!  Don't give way to stubbornness...for stubbornness gives way to unforgiveness and hard-heartedness.  Give God a chance to work in YOUR heart and mind first...and then see if He doesn't do something about your spouse's mind and heart as well!  Try it...pray about it...and see what God can do.

Yes, our marriage has been a real "institution"....sometimes a "funny farm", sometimes a war-zone, sometimes a place where angels fear to tread...but underneath it all,
"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms..." Deuteronomy 33:27

That's the only secret to success in marriage I can offer...Make God your refuge...and rest in His everlasting arms...and no matter what befalls you...you will have a safe resting place...no matter what.


Mr. and Mrs. John F. Steiner
August 16, 1969 -The Honorable Institution of Marriage...

John and Pam Steiner  - 42 years later  ..."The Funny Farm" 



And today...50 years later!

Good Night, Sleep tight...and don't let the bedbugs bite!!

11 comments:

  1. Sorry, the deleted comment was me. I hate spelling mistakes and thought I could discreetly correct it. Guess not. I'm such a newbie. Love your post! I just celebrated year 22 of living on the funny farm and can validate your wonderful counsel. Look forward to visiting here often.
    Have a happy day,
    Susan
    Glad to follow someone on the East Coast!

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  2. Hi Susan...Thank you for your comments. I am so happy that you found my blog...and happy that you have enjoyed 22 years of living on the funny farm with your hubby! I will look forward to hearing from you again in the future! God bless you, and keep laughing! It makes life go so much better!!
    Pam

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  3. Just popped but will have to come back later to read. For now I wanted to see the pictures and wish you and your hubby a very happy, happy anniversary. You look too young to be married for 50 years. But that is a good thing ;-)

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  4. Oh, I enjoyed this post so much and the photos are wonderful! Happy Anniversary to you both. May the Lord bless you in your new home.

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  5. What a joyous occasion to celebrate well!! Happy anniversary and may our loving God grant you many more years of happiness!! Love & hugs!

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  6. HAPPY 50th ANNIVERSARY, Pamela!

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  7. What a lovely post, smiles. A very Happy Anniversary to you and your husband, smiles.

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  8. We were married on the same day. We were married 44 years yesterday. Happy Anniversary to you. We, too, have had lots of ups and downs but we have never given up..although we felt like it a few times. Wonder how many of today's marriages will survive that long! xo Diana

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  9. Pam: A former Sunday school teacher and friend told our class one time,"If someone tells you that they have been married a lengthy time and have never had a fight with his or her spouse, they are lying." Another thought he had was in that same vein." One of you is not necessary." Happy Anniversary to you and John. Enjoy your celebration, Peace and Blessings.

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  10. Marriages are filled with ups and downs, that's for sure, but when God is at the center of it, couples can find a way to make it through. Great advice given here, Pamela. And once again, Happy Anniversary!

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  11. Pam, thank you for sharing this post. Even as a single person, I know that marriages, even ones centered on Jesus have their ups and downs. Yet many, like you and John, make it work and stick with it even when things are hard. Happy Anniversary!

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Thank you for visiting here today. I would love for you to sign my guestbook and let me know you stopped by. I always enjoy reading your comments and words of encouragement! May you be blessed as you go on your way. Please come back and visit again soon.